Apologies for TMI: but please DESCRIBE dischargeof miscarriage TIA

[Diamondsamdrubies]

Am 8 weeks 1 today. However, been having brown discharge at EVERY wipe after every loo visit since Tuesday. Even had dark brown thick clots. Period like cramping on and off. Scan due Tuesday. Just wanting to know if this is what a miscarriage looks and feels like TIA

Oh magic I really feel you. Honestly my erpc was the least painful part of the whole episode.

You might be interested in this mumsnet campaign after your awful experience.

My epu is next to maternity, and shares the same entrance so you walk in or out with the shop full of "new baby" crap right in front of you. Talk about rubbing your face in it.......

I'm having a bad evening, so prob not the best person to be trying to make you feel better.

I had the same as both of you - lots of happy pregnant women and the EPU in the same place today. Was the same when I went back today. One girl had come for the scan with her friend and were chattering away really loudly about whether they wanted a boy or a girl. I shot them such a dirty look! And when I had just had the horrible scan the week before there were a couple really cooing over their baby, I had to leave the room and have a cry.

Also, the two hugely fat ladies on reception were so horrible when I went for what would have been my 12 week scan! Obviously they put up with very busy waiting lists but they really didn't help the situation. When I had to go out and empty my bladder, as well as having to face the cooing bumps, the chain wouldn't flush on the loo and there was a lot of blood in there. For some sick reason, in the middle of it all, I really enjoyed seeing the fleeting look of shock and a bit of sympathy when I told one of the fat, rude women that she might want to get someone to fix the loo or the sheer amount of blood in there might freak out the next person to use it.

Sorry you are not feeling good this evening Harassed. I saw you being referred to as pants on another thread and I think pants is really cute!

Talking of other threads - either magic or diamonds asked about other ones. Well, I am obsessively reading at least two or three on the Conception board. There's one about TTC after MC (with a really long title) and there's one about being pregnant after MC. Both are really hopeful and warming. There's also one about the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor and I am really thinking of getting one.

I also started my own thread on this board to see when other people got their periods after a mc and have found out I need to start checking with pg tests to see when I get a BFN.

Harassed, Magic, Diamonds etc - how are you all feeling? I know it is early days for magic and Diamonds* but I hope you things are not too awful.

I've had weird contradictory feelings today. Almost felt a physical pull when I heard a baby crying earlier when I was out and about. But curiously on the other side I am getting quite a positive feeling about not being pregnant. It's been great to go back to the gym again and not feel like I can't do anything (although I am taking it easy and I am still feeling podgy), I am also planning lots of days out, it's been great to have the odd drink! I might crack open a cold beer soon...And just as I was getting used to feeling pregnant I am now getting used to not feeling pregnant and actually, I kinda like it.

On the flip side I am completely going to ttc asap after af so I am not totally over it, but in the in between bit it is good to be feeling good about some things. Hope you are all feeling okay and that harassed too is having a better day today xx

Freelancegirl: I can relate to everything you've said. I've cried most of yesterday, last night and this morning. But laughed just as many times watching romcoms! We are also feeling it's good we can go on hols, drink and be merry. We'll have fun ttc all over again. We DO want to ttc again: that's what has become clear. We're not ready to give up at the first hurdle!
The sac shows no signs of appearing. The blood loss is a lot less, pinky and mucousy... What do I make of that? Normal or not? Will my body expel the damned thing or retain it and pose another hurdle?Did your bleeding subside just before expulsion or not? I know everyones different, but ...

I have realised that too! a) that I definitely want to ttc again but b) that there's a lot to be thankful for and some fun to be had without being up the duff :)

Am I right in thinking your sac was on the way out too..? Mine took a few days to come out so I wouldn't worry about it just yet. If it gets to a week after your scan and nothing has happened then go back. I THINK the blood did die off a bit just before I got rid of it - I only say that as I feel at the time, in my weird mind, I was imagining that the sac was blocking the blood for a bit if you know what I mean. Can't wait until you get that out - definitely feels like a bit of a milestone. I remember every time I went to the loo having a bit of a push to see if that helped!!!

Yeah... Sounds exactly like what I'm doing at the mo! Pushing at every loo visit! The sonographer said most of the other stuff had come out including the embryo... The tiny sac was sitting just on top of the cervix- she expected it to be expelled within 48 hours or so. Did you get a lot more bleeding after the sac passed then? She did say that there would be a significant amount of bleeding- but that if it was "too heavy" to go to a and e. Eh, define heavy? Silly woman! She might have experienced it ten times a day in her job, but this is the first( hopefully last) time that I'm going through it. Didn't ask her to elaborate though. X

not sure if i shoul post here as im pg again so i dont want to upset anyone but....

almost a year ago i was in exactly the same position i starte bleeing sun got a scan on the mon which comfirmed the mmc at 8.5 weeks -shoul have been 12- i went home an was bleeing until tues evening when i got more serious cramps and the bleeing really wasnt bad then after about 8 hours just as i was leaving to go to the hosp i passed the sack an in the next few hours the remaining clots seemed to go an a lighter bleed occure for the following two weeks - please go to the hosp if you start feeling the bad cramps as they can give you stronger painkillers

i was so emotional the nxt few days for example i remember throwing a bowl of cereal own the stairs an sobbing but a week or so later it setteled i got my hair cut bought some new clothes and felt a bit more like me again not like the hormonal crazy lay

i got my period about 5 weeks later & i was an emotional wreck it was actully worse than the mc as it just proved i wasnt pg iyswim there were also a lot of clots in it as if my body was trying to clean itself - no one warne me about this

i got pg the cycle after that an am now due nxt week

hope this helps some of you as i remember how alone & scare i felt at the time

Xmas bunny Thankyou for your fantastic contribution. It gives all of us hope at such a dark time. Just out of interest: did you have any investigations conducted? Or did you just fall pregnant naturally? Or was there anything you did differently? Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way! Boy, girl or surprise? :-)

Thanks Xmas from the other side. I'm so glad you made it, you must be so excited about next week!

Having been booked for an ERPC tomorrow I started having v bad period cramps this morning and eventually passed the sac at lunchtime (over lunch with friend which made for interesting conversation). Since then I've had cramps on and off and passing buckets of blood and god-knows-what-else but seem to be managing it with co-codemol and paracetamol at home. The midwife seemed surprised I didnt need more pain relief so am wondering if I have worse to come?

Really lovely to hear your positivity Diamonds and Freelance. I know what you mean about enjoying feeling normal again. Didnt realise how rubbish I'd been feeling whilst preg! Might even brave a small glass of wine tonight .

no since i was going to the hospital anyway i took the remains (which mil had to take out the toilet for me :( ) they tested them to make sure there were no obvious problems - which there wernt

the gp sai that if you imagine all the millions of eggs an sperms there are sometimes saly someone has to get a faulty one. i fell pg natrually i wante to wait but dh persuded me that the longer i left it the more scared i would get

i really didnt do anything diffrently at all i was fully expecting togo to the 12 week scan and have more heartbreak i was crying waiting ... however all was well.

i felt so guilty feeling normal but it was a relief that i wasnt feeling sick and bloated anymore

something else i was suprise about was how tener my tummy felt afterwards for couple of days the nurse said it was my uterus re ajusting to normal

and its a boy - still with no name :)

Xmasbunny: congratulations once again. Really hope that you have a smooth labour. Good luck with the name- it's a hard choice what with all the beautiful ones out there. Really really happy that it all worked out for you. So glad you shared your lucky story with us- gives us all hope. Thankyou. Take care Hunni x :-)

Hey xmasbunny thanks for that. It sounds exactly like what we have all been going through. Great you got a period soon after and also pg again! This time successfully of course. I know most of us are wondering when to try again, probably waiting till after first period, and will find it a positive sign that you managed this too.

Magic you are right, it's awful and really surreal. But it's good to have a glass of wine.

DH and I have been out for some food, shared a bottle of wine and then I had at least 3 g&ts! The weird thing is I feel kind of sober! This has happened to me before when a friend died. Reality has a hold. But it's still liberating to have a drink! We had a good conversation about everything, veering from his upset to me saying that he can't fully understand (whenever he said anything that pissed me off) to agreeing we were both really upset and more affected by this than we could previously imagine.

Hope you are feeling ok diamonds xx

Magic: it's good you've passed the sac. Still waiting to pass mine. Just brown discharge now. Wondering what will happen if I don't pass the sac. Scared as wanted to miscarry naturally.
Diamonds: Snap! same here... Had 3 g&ts and shared a bottle of wine: no escape from reality. I thought I'd be a cheap date once I started drinking again, but no suck luck. Remember that what we have experienced is quite sobering in itself. It's taken it's toll physically and mentally. I think we've decided the only way we are gonna get over this is to have a baby.
Just hope we are as lucky as Xmasbunny. :-)

Sounds like you all doing ok which I'm really pleased about, but to be very honest I'm struggling. I think the thing is having two so close together. One I could put down to bad luck etc, but two?? Also, I hadn't really got over the first one so this second one has really set me back. Had to poas stick today and got a bfn, which is good but made me feel very sad. Again!!

God I'm sooo bloody miserable - sorry.

Oh you poor thing harassed :( Yes I can very easily imagine that the two in a row is just awful, so quickly as well. But they were for two very different reasons weren't they? I really think it is a case of bad luck.

I too am a bit worried as I think I might have told you that I think this is my 3rd. But the other two were 15 years ago and with someone else so hopefully I will be ok next time. But it is a huge worry.

Also, what is probably out of your control, but having had two in a row your hormones must be totally f*cked! That is why it is taking a huge physical and emotional toll on you.

Glad you got the BFN as that is a step forward. I am going to buy some tests over the weekend.

How are you feeling about possibly starting again? Any way you can get at least some tests done via your GP to help rule out a few things just in case? I got sticky blood tests and thyroid antibodies - which I knew would be raised. Sticky blood came back normal. Still waiting for selenium level results.

Diamonds Hurrah for the half a bottle of wine and 3 G&Ts gang! I think I actually had four if I am honest... I can't believe I drank that much and didn't feel totally sparko after not having drunk for so long. It felt lovely :) It felt good to be out in a pub and watching a band too, felt like my old young, free and not-so-single self again. Not the self that has either been hiding away feeling cold (I was always cold - maybe that was a sign?!), sick and pregnant and not being able to tell anyway or the self that has been in agony, bleeding, crying and up the bloody hospital all the time.

Hey, where does everyone live? I am up for drinks if anyone is in London or the South East and needs cheering up! xx

I'm so very sorry for you today harassed. I can't imagine what you're going through. I cry at least three times a day at the moment. It comes on suddenly, and hits me when I least expect it. You must grieve. It's not just a baby. It's your hopes and dreams for that little one. I certainly feel better after a cry, until the next time. We did well to change our minds, re: work- and took time out. We are making decisions about the future. Trying to get over this blip. Is there anyone in real life who you could confide in? Sharing your pain really helps. I'm just really worried about the slow discharge with no sign of the sac. How long did it take for yours to expel?
Keep chatting here if nothing else. If does seem to help confronting the pain. X

Re sac Diamonds keep bouncing around and I am sure it will come out! It is on it's way! If they were in any way worried about it I am sure they would have taken it out there and then. Thinking about it, I know this is awful, but it has been in there for weeks without any life and hasn't caused any additional health problems so hopefully it won't do now. If it hasn't passed on Tues do go back to the hospital. That would be my benchmark - a week after the scan.

I am still bleeding but only the odd bit of brown stuff. I too am worried about that last bit getting out. But nothing to be done except wait and see. And then I am going back for a scan too.

I know it's awful, as you just want to get it out and get on with it!

Freelance: crossed posts! I'm in Oxford. Didn't finish the third g and t. Started to feel sick! Maybe there is a connection between feeling cold... I had moments where I felt very very cold, but at times I suffered from hot flushes. Where are your tests being conducted? It's good that you're doing something productive for next time. We are considering paying privately to have some done once my cycle has returned. AFTER the sac has expelled: can you tell that I'm getting quite obsessed about this now? ! I want it out - but it's not happening. Anyone heard of it taking this long? Magic started to miscarry after me, and her sacs gone already- it's not a competition, but it helps if things move in the right direction. Rant over. Going out for drinks again tonight, and a game of ten pin bowling. Been cooped up in the house for too long during this pregnancy. Not anymore!

PS I was just thinking - your sac can't have been totally intact, right? If the foetus had already gone? So maybe you are already expelling the sac just bit by bit? Maybe you won't have a popping sensation like I did as mine was still whole and had the foetus inside. OOh, that's just made me feel a bit miserable and teary thinking about it. Just when I thought I was getting all practical and non-emotional about it...

OOps - second crossed posts! Yay, go out drinking!

I love Oxford btw, great city. Lots of lovely bars and restaurants.

Let me know what you think about my Sac Theory...

My dh is my lifeline at the moment!! Apart from on here he's the only person that really knows how I'm feeling, I'm doing a pretty good job of appearing ok I think. My bf is in Yorkshire (I'm in Hampshire) but on the end of the phone, and I'm close to a school friend who's a mw and she's been so helpful.

I think the first one in Jan was because I got flu. Even though I was regularly taking paracetamol my temp was really high, and dr google says that high temp can cause mc. No idea about last weeks, "just one of those things"?!

I've had 3 mc's too, but the first was 8 years ago and very early on. I didn't know I was prg, wasn't trying and it was with an unreliable ex! Apart from the standard blood tests they won't do any other tests until I've had 3 consecutive mc's. Dh and I have agreed to try one more time. I don't know how I feel about honestly, numb is a good word! I desperately want another baby, and so does dh, but I don't feel very optimistic about it. I'm 40 now, so the clock is ticking!

Diamonds I don't think I have expelled an actual sack as such. Hope it's all gone!! Although not bleeding I've had some cramping, but epu said it's my uterus settling down again but if it continues go to gp.

Sorry to hear what you went through Leonie. Thanks for sharing that.
Harassed: you may be right. I have had lots of sludgy brown "stuff" and liver like clots, so maybe missed it- but that was all before the scan when they told me I had yet to expel the sac!
TMI alert: just took a shower, and expelled a "rubbery red scrunched up thing": could that be it? With my wee( nice- not!). Slight brown discharge now. No pain. Oh well, the scan in a couple of weeks should put me out of my misery!
Freelance: if you're ever in our neck of the woods, get in touch: I'll show you all the best places here. It's magical. Came here as a student. Couldn't bear to leave. From Manchester originally. It's lovely. Punting season is upon us. It's quite windy here today.
Freelance and harassed: do keep us updated when your pregnancy tests turn negative. It'll give the rest of us in the same boat some idea as to what to expect when. Thanks to MN it doesn't feel like a lonely journey. If it hadn't been for you fantastic girls I would have been a mess: I know that for a fact. You kept me strong. Thankyou xxx

Diamonds I really this is not a laughing matter but your "rubbery red scrunched up thing" story did make me chuckle! I have absolutely no idea what it could be apart from more 'products relating to conception' or whatever the hell they think it is. More stuff coming out though can only be a good thing at this stage. The more stuff we have emerging the better! To a certain extent of course.

Leonie I had exactly the same tampon experience when I mc about 15 years ago. I was 20 at the time and (like you harassed) with a man I WOULD NOT have wanted a baby with and I didn't even know I was pg. But I had crazy cramps and a bit later had the weird looking thing stuck to my tampon.

Ahh I love the way there are no holds barred about TMI here.

Harassed 40 is not old, there are plenty of very fertile women of that age and older on here and in RL who are having babies all the time. I do know what you mean though, I am 36 (and a half..) and you hear all these horror stories about fertility dropping off a cliff after 35. But I think that's all they are, horror stories. And because you already have a child you know you can get pregnant, you know you can carry to term. Fingers crossed it works out for you again. I would be cautiously optimistic that it's not a recurrent problem and just bad luck.

Diamonds am actually in Oxford the weekend after next visiting a friend who is 6 months pg! We were going to tell them of my pg too - but obviously that hasn't worked out as planned. Never mind, I will just get pissed with the boys... It might not be very appropriate to say hey, anyone mind if we hook up with my Miscarriage Buddy to have a bit of a cry and drown our mutual sorrows this time :)

Sorry to hear you're feeling low Harassed. It must be terribly demoralizing to have them so close together and I agree with Freelance that your hormones must be all over the place as much as anything. I turn 39 this year and also feel that clock ticking thing. It doesnt help that I really ought to be concentrating on my career this year if I'm not to miss the boat in terms of becoming a head of department where I am. Am still desperate to give DD a sibling though, as I am an only child who lost her Mother in the last few years. What a lonely experience it was caring for her and making decisions about her failing health, and I dont want DD to face that alone in the future.

Diamonds, I've been having some really gross moments with all sorts of rubbery, jellyish, red and white scruched-up things appearing at toilet-time. Its like some kind of horror movie everytime I go to the loo. At least the pains have stopped now however. I think thats a good thought from Freelance that yours is probably coming out bit by bit. Lets hope so. That sac sensation was painless but very unpleasant indeed.

I'll have to share virtual drinks with you ladies as I'm away up north I'm afraid! DP and I shared a lovely bottle of red last night. Hes said very little about the whole episode as hes actually got a lot else on his plate as well at the moment, but listened to him break the news to his brother and it seems he has a heart somewhere!