Apologies for TMI: but please DESCRIBE dischargeof miscarriage TIA

[Diamondsamdrubies]

Am 8 weeks 1 today. However, been having brown discharge at EVERY wipe after every loo visit since Tuesday. Even had dark brown thick clots. Period like cramping on and off. Scan due Tuesday. Just wanting to know if this is what a miscarriage looks and feels like TIA

Thankyou so very much magic and harassed. I really appreciate your support. I'm at work. Couldn't bear the thought of staying hone for THIS. I would wind myself up, worrying. Putting a fake brave face on at work will help me get back to normality much quicker I feel. Dh was going to take day off, I wouldn't let him even entertain the idea. He's wise enough to know that I meant business! I want to stay strong for the time being. there's plenty of time to crumble properly later.
Harassed: how many days did the bleeding go on for?

3-4 days of proper bleeding, and now day 3 off a little bit of dark red/brown stuff. Still having period type pains though.

You just have to do what works for you I think. There's no right or wrong way, but remember that you do have to grieve so don't bury everything lovely.

Hello gang. Finally Logged in on phone, so do excuse spelling etc. Sorry you really are expecting the worst now diamonds but fingers crossed for both you and magic for scans tomorrow. Can't believe you are at work diamonds. Though i guess I would be if not self employed too. My brain has been shot to bits all week and have not got anything done. Just can't seem to concentrate on anything but posting and reading here and researching anything that might be relevant. I hate it when they dig around for veins too harassed, still got bruises from last Sunday! Magic, I too had lost my pg symptoms and was feeling rather good! Before the pain and bleeding started of course. I was hoping that was just because I was moving into the second trimester but obviously that was not the case. If it is the worst for both of you you are right in thinking the tcc after mc thread is a supportive place to be. And we can all start thinking about how we are going to do that. My heart particularly goes out to harassed for having been through this twice. The hopeful thing for you is that these do seem to have been completely different reasons so hopefully next time it will work put. But for all of that is the next major concern isn't it? Will this happen again? Maybe when we know what's happening with everyone we can create our own newby ttc after mc thread! But in the meantime fingers still crossed for good news on
Tues.

Well, the cramps have kicked in today and the bleeding has become red and heavy. Game over here!

I know they told me to go to A & E should this start but is there really any point when I have the scan tomorrow?

Have been off work today and am glad I did. I know what you mean harassed about wanting to be in a bubble. You sound really strong Diamonds, I know it will do me good to be out and at work again but cant handle it until I've got my head straight tomorrow. Am dreading it. It was supposed to be exciting- we were going to take DD to 'see if there was a baby in Mummys tummy' .

Thank you so much for the support here ladies- its been really good to have a bit of hand-holding and know that you're not alone.

xx

Hey Magic, from my experience last week there's no point in going to A&E unless the pain gets so bad you need some stronger pain killers. I finally caved in last Sunday at 9pm to go to A&E even though my scan was sched for Monday.

If this is the worst outcome, the scan is not going to be much fun. Warn them as you go in what has been going on just in case. But, from the other side of this awful situation (my scan experience was a week today) things do get better I promise. Good luck and update when you can. We are all thinking of you xx

Oh magic, I'm so so sorry my lovely. It's sooo hard, but you are right, the support here has held me together. Contrary to how I come across, I'm not strong at all. I'm just scared of my own emotions taking over. We have Been ttc for such a long time: never managed to get pregnant before. Naively hadn't anticipated this. I really don't know what I would do taking time out to recover. I am in such a sad, empty place at the moment. I can see if I let this surface it will be reflected back at me in Dh. So, for his sake, I'm putting on a brave face, for his turn he is taking it in his stride. We've both booked a holiday at the end of April to take time out for three weeks. We'll reflect and share then. We're both very very organised. It's best we book a time in our diaries to let our emotions flow... For now! I know it makes no sense at all.. Dh suggested we take time out now, but it's too close to the bone at the moment- I want us to make decisions for our future with a cool head.
Magic: still keeping fx crossed for you. There are many inspirational stories with bleeding in pregnancy. I, on the other hand have been passing huge clots with lots and lots of bleeding.
Freelance girl- your support has been amazing. I can't thank you enough. x
Everybody has been so helpful and optimistic as well as realistic. Sharing your stories and experiences has given me lots of relief: whole I was going through one of the bleakest times in my life on my own.
Thankyou x

Diamonds, harassed and freelance are right, you have to do whats best for you. The holiday sounds like a really good plan and your DH sounds just lovely.

Just a thought after what you said in your message and it might be wholly inappropriate at this present stage, please forgive me if so... we were having trouble ttc this time round. We didnt have an awful lot of time to ourselves and I, like you, like to be organised and feel in control of the situation (huh). I got myself a Clearblue Fertility Monitor and it tells you which days are most likely to result in pregnancy. Well I got up-duffed first go in January!

I know its not for some people and if you're that way inclined it can make you a bit obsessive I suppose, but it seemed to suit our purposes, gets you familiar with your cycle and takes a lot of the guess-work away. Theres a really supportive thread in 'Conception'. It also helps you tell if there is any underlying problem sooner rather than later I think. But would need a bit of research.

Lots of luck for today, am feeling very jittery myself and looking forward to getting to the other side of all this. Thanks for the words of advice freelance. Will let you know what happens.

xxx

Hi i hope someone can help.. im so worried :( im pregnant with my first im about 6 weeks.. yesterday i started getting very mild cramps and quite a bit of bleeding which today is still there but it has eased off quite a bit.. i went to a&e they were so unhelpful! i sat there on my own for ages for them to tell me theres nothing they can do until thursday.. i have a scan on thursday to see if im still pregnant.. :( im so worried.. is this normal? x

Hi Roxanne, I'm so very sorry you're going through this too.

Firstly, in my opinion it's not normal to bleed during pregnancy although there are plenty of reasons why you might, and still have a healthy baby. There are plenty of ladies that this has happened to, and it's seen as standard on the prg after mc thread! Unfortunately there are also times when it's not.

Have you seen a midwife yet? I hadn't but phoned her anyway and she got me an appoinment at my epu immediately. I know the girls on here haven't been so lucky in that way though, so it obviously depends where you live. Also check out your health trust online, as there are some walk-in epu's around. What about your gp? Might be worth a try. The lack of care is appalling!

I get cramps as soon as I get prg which is a bit scary, but the cramps I had when mc'ing last week were different and more centred, rather than the general all over ones I was previously having.

I have my fingers firmly x'd for you ((hugs)).

Hi roxanne, can't write much as am at hospital myself but sorry you are going through this. Please try not to worry as it sounds like right now you have veryild symptoms and a lot of people get period type pain and bleeding and everything is fine. We have all found a&e a bit crap and offhand but really there is nothing they can do. I think they could learn to express this a bit better! Do come back here for support as everyone is going through worrying times too and are all lovely and helpful and fingers crossed it does not hey any worse for you. Am at hospital myself now, waiting for scan at EPU to check everything has gone. Wasn't surprised they had no record of me so had to explain it all to them at reception and am waiting to see a nurse now apparently. Hope the nurse can then organise the damn scan! Good luck today magic and diamonds xxx

Hi Roxanne

Its a scary situation to be in, especially when no-one can give you any answers. As you can see from the posts on here it can go either way although it does sound hopeful that its subsided in your case and it is very early days; it may be things just settling down.

My friend was doubled over with cramps and bleeding at 10 weeks and was admitted to hospital on a drip but then went on to have a healthy baby boy so please try not to worry.

Do stick around if you like. I started bleeding last Thursday, with my scan scheduled for today and have found this thread a real comfort during a weekend of limbo. I have lost all pregnancy symptoms however, so I'm pretty sure of the outcome here .

Fingers crossed for you xx

Message crossed over with yours harassed, good advice. Hope you feel ok today xx

Thank you so much for all your replys it means a hell of a lot as i feel there is no one i can talk to about this :( i too feel like i have lost all pregnancy symptoms.. but im so worried i dont know if its all in my head.. thursday seems so long away for my scan im really hoping that everything will be ok.
I will definatly update you all on anything that happens.. really does mean a hell of a lot to get so many replies.. xx

Hey guys, had it confirmed. apparently at 6wks it was over. Just gotta decide what to do now.

Magic Ahhhh. Honey :( :( :( I really feel for you. I know exactly what you are going through as I was doing the same last Monday. I know how awful it is to have seen that screen and it makes me so sad to think you have just gone through that same thing.

The only thing I can see is that in a week or so time you will start to feel a lot better I promise. You obviously have to grieve but there are so many lovely things to look forward to so try to be positive. And it was NOTHING that you did.

Keep looking forward and bear in mind that it was just not meant to be this time - I don't mean in some sort of fatalistic way but just that this time it was just not going to be able to survive or become a proper baby :(

It was 7 weeks over for me too. Your body is going to go through quite a few changes so it is bound to be odd.

What did they say about the next step?

They didn't give me a choice, just sent me home to 'expel' naturally. It took me two days from scan (6 days from start of bleeding/pain) for the gestational sac to come out but when once that is out of the way you start to feel a bit more positive as it feels as if it's a good step to the whole experience being over. Still bleeding a bit now and just been for second scan (MAKE SURE you get one of these if they send you down the natural route) and there is still a bit more bleeding to do so going back in two weeks.

The natural route can take a bit of time and I am not sure of the benefits compared to intervention. Maybe someone else on MN can advise?

So sorry honey, I know you are going to feel so miserable. It will get better I promise xxxxxxxx

Oh magic I'm so very sorry my lovely.

I had 3 choices: natural, medical or erpc. I chose erpc as it was recommeded to me by my mw and also a close friend who's a mw. For me it was the right route to go down. Physically I recovered very quickly with minimal bleeding. Tbh I was glad to get it over and done with.

My sil had medical management and ended up with erpc anyway, so that seemed pointless, and I couldn't cope with the not knowing when it would happen. I should have been 10+1 when scanned, but baby was 7 weeks. I'd only had the tiniest bit of pink discharge to be scanned, and 4 days later when I went back in for erpc nothing had happened so for me it was the right decision.

You're going to feel crap, there's no easy way my lovely, but as free says it does get slowly better xxx

I kind of wish I had gone for some sort of medical intervention now. Just been for the scan and they said there are still some 'products' left to pass so to take antibiotics and come back for another scan on two weeks. Am worried this means my period is going to take ages to come back and will affect ttc! Have created a new post to see if anyone can help me, but if any of you girls can please comment on it! Still hoping diamonds has good news.

Oh no flg! I didn't have any retained products, but did get an infection so had ab's too. I then got a horrible dose of thrush, so eat lots of live yogurt.

My af came back 4 weeks to day from the erpc, fingers x'd for yours lovely x

Hi Diamond.
I'm sorry to hear you are going through MC. I just wanted to say that it took me 2 yrs to get preg the first time - which we MC. Then just 2 months later we were preg - successful this time. And when trying for no 2 it took just one month. It is common to be very fertile after a miscarriage, even if you've had probs before.
Look after yourself and allow yourself to grieve.

No sorry... Can't help you there! Just had it confirmed as a miscarriage: just sack left to expel now. They don't do medical management here in Oxford. Natural( as they recommended to me) or ERPC: which the doctor said carries it's own risks of perforation and tears. She also said there was no guarantee that all of the remains could be evacuated.
They did the external scan and found no heartbeat. Then they did the internal: and found majority had emptied(including foetus), the sac is sitting on the cervix ready to be expelled. They said to come back to hospital if major bleeding or cramping were to occur at that point. Or to go to my gp if the discharge were to get smelly- sorry for TMI.
Dh cried and I couldn't hold my emotions in either. Both feel better for it. As to the future: who knows? The doctor said that that the ovaries looked good: no cysts etc. That only the unhealthy fetus' get aborted, and it's not our fault. She said try Again for a baby if you want. They will not investigate as not recurring miscarriage. Without the investigations I'd be scared of putting us through all this again. Sac indicated pregnancy ended at around 5 weeks. Also booked in for a scan two weeks today to see if the matter in the womb has cleared.
Now waiting impatiently for sac to expel. Is it painful? How do you know when it will pass? Will it definitely be on the loo? Heeelp!!!
Thanks for all your support- seriously! Xxxx

Oh sweetie I'm so very sorry. Not a very lucky thread are we??

I've no idea about expelling the sack. Had erpc with the first, and just clots so far this time. Although my bleeding has stopped I still have some cramping, I wonder if that's why?! Who knows......

The doctor is right, healthy babies don't die this early on for no reason (sorry hate the word fetus ), and it's nothing you will have done. Just remember I'm the exception, not the norm!!!

I'm glad you and dh have both had a good cry, I think it's a healthy part of the grieving/healing process. We've done the same here. You really need to give yourself plenty of time to get over this physically and emotionally. I remember after the first mc dh asking about trying again, and was completely anti, but obviously came round. We'll try again this time too once everything is back to normal. Are you off work for a while?

((()))'s xx

Damn!!! Poor Diamonds and Magic :( : ( :(

That took me right back to that scan last week too.

All I can say now, for all of us, is thank god this one all over. My DH and both had good cries for a good few days. Actually I have stopped crying now and just gone all practical (obsessive online research and MN scanning) but occasionally choke back tears when something brings it all back.

Mine was the same situation - the sac was already on its way out. So I imagine it won't take you long to pass it. I passed it two days after the scan. I am guessing the foetus was still in the sac for me as it was still there on the scan. So maybe my sac was 'more full' than yours? Either way, it shouldn't hurt.

Ok, passing the sac, are you ready for the TMI?

I passed the sac last Wednesday. I was feeling constipated and had to sit on the loo twice before I got any signs of any 'movement'. Whilst really trying hard to, er, eventually getting some movement, I felt a pop from the other department. It was all rather a nasty experience but mainly because of the former constipation problem and then the pop was a bit of a shock. I think I actually spoke to myself in shock and said something like 'Oh god there it is!'. I didn't look as it was bound to be messy (TMI!!!) so just flushed quickly and knew it was time to move on.

It doesn't hurt at all, it's just not a feeling you have not had before. I imagine yours might come out the same way if you are in a straining situation. Isn't there something about the feeling of going to the loo something you get before giving birth (harassed might be able to tell us?)? But I wasn't aware of straining to pass the sac - just to go to the loo and the sac popped out too.

Prior to this I had a bit of clotting and I think I had some afterwards. There was a steady flow of blood for a few days, and today 6 days after sac has passed, there's still a bit of brown blood. But as I have already said they think there's around 2cm of stuff still in there so I have to expel that and go for another check in 2 weeks.

Hope that helps honey, and as you know you can ask ANYTHING here. Or pm me again, email or call if you need xx

Harassed and freelance: thanks for sharing your experiences once again.
Magic: so sorry for what you are going through.
Which threads are you girls on - who knows we may yet share happier experiences yet?!
You guys have been a godsend- and I don't say that lightly.

Hi folks, havent been able to get on the computer till now. Thanks for all the comments.

Diamonds .

Apparently I still have almost everything left inside so they have no idea when I might pass everything naturally and I may be off work for quite some time. They also offered me an ERPC and medical help and after some consideration I've gone down the ERPC route for the same reasons as Harassed. To try and get it over and done with. Ive also had one before when I had a termination some years ago. Its shit as I remember but the sooner I can get over this the better.

I've got a friend coming over with her little boy tomorrow and we'll do some gentle stuff with the kids. I think it'll do me good just to enjoy DD. I DO feel very lucky to have her even though shes trying to sabotage this message as we speak.

Can I echo what Diamonds said? Your advice has been invaluable and I look forward to catching up with everyone on a happier or more optimistic thread.

By the way, I dont know what your experiences are but we were appalled that we were made to wait with a room full of ladies with straining bellies, crooning (some of them) over previous scan pictures. I had to come out of the ultrasound room to 'empty my bladder' before the lady did an internal one to be greeted by rows of them all staring at me. Then we were ushered into the room next door in front of them all, with great big false grins on our faces. If it was my first pregnancy I would have been suicidal. I think there ought to be a big re-think on the part of the NHS. DP was muttering about going private.