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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

How is everyone doing?

5 replies

GwendolineMaryLacey · 01/02/2011 13:14

I know there have been a few people that sadly miscarried in the last couple of weeks that have been posting on my threads. Just wondered how you were doing, as we're all at the same stage IYSWIM. Or how anyone is doing really.

I'm finding it so hard. I'm back at work where very few people know. They know I had an operation but that's all. I also had pneumonia at the end of last year so have barely been at work since November. Everyone is being so kind and asking how I am and it's so hard to answer without crumbling. But I don't want to tell people. I was quite calm when it actually happened and I went in for the ERPC (24 Jan) but I seem to have gone downhill since then and it's getting harder, not easier.

OP posts:
MsJL · 01/02/2011 13:59

GWL I'm sorry you're having a really tough time. I've always found that I'm quite clam and remarkably chipper in the following few days (I've had 5 mc) and then have gone downhill the following week.

Firstly, please don't beat yourself up about how you're feeling. Be kind to yourself - organise a nice treat whether that's seeing your favourite friend for afternoon tea or a pedicure or buy your favourite edible guilty pleasure and eat it in bed.

I had my last mc in October and am finding this week and last week particularly hard-going.

At the risk of sounding all Pollyanna-ish. Try and do dome things that make you happy. plan a little break to look forward to and take it easy - there's nothing wrong in avoiding stressful people and situations at the moment.

Take care of yourself. xx

Collie2 · 01/02/2011 15:46

Hi Gwendoline I am sorry to hear you are feeling low, it is completely normal though. I mc late dec and like yourself and MsJL felt stonger after a couple of initial hard days and then went to pot agaain about a week or so later. I guess its a mixture of the hormones and the stages of grief you go through.

I think after about 3 weeks it started getting easier for me, but before then i couldn't really see the light. But i still have my own little fact i had one last night. But it does get easier to pick yourself up.

Hoping you feel as better as can be soon. xx

artifarti · 01/02/2011 17:31

Hi GWL. So sorry you have to go through this and are feeling low. I had an ERPC on Friday when I would have been 8 weeks but had a blighted ovum. I already have one DS and this was my first mc. Physically I feel okay but I feel quite low too. I want to just put it all behind me and move on but am discovering that it's just not that easy (and it is very early days, I know). I have to go back to work on Monday. I have been off for all of January as my CM was ill and then this happened. Although I'm looking forward to the distraction and getting back to my normal routine, I'm not that happy at work anyway.

I just want to get on and TTC again but think I should wait until my periods come back. Then I am full of the usual worry in case they don't come back or I can't get pg or I mc again...all the usual worries, I guess.

I hope you have people in RL to support you and MN is great at times like this, isn't it? Come and talk whenever you feel you need to. Stay strong. x

luckyfor2 · 01/02/2011 19:12

I've been the same after all my three mc. I think you cope at the beginning because of the shock and you have the process to concentrate on. Its when reality hits and you have to see people plus the hormones droping makes it unbearable. I know how you're feeling and really do feel for you too. I wake up thinking about it and thats all I think about until I go to bed and at the moment I feel stuck waiting. It is such a horrible feeling to experience.

With my last two mc I've managed to move on by concentrating on the future and TTC, this might sound like an unhealthy way to proceed but its the only thing that has got me through before. Feel very lost now after three! Just taking it one day at a time (which feels like forever).

MN is a godsend at these lonely times.

harassedinherpants · 02/02/2011 17:45

Hi Gwendoline, I was wondering how you were doing.

I'm back to work tomorrow and dreading it. I haven't been back sooner as just didn't feel up to it plus I got an infection so have been recovering from that and mega doses of antibiotics (which make me feel pants!).

I'm very up and down. My erpc was 2 weeks ago yesterday, and it's almost 3 weeks since we had the scan. I should have had my 12 week scan on Monday.... that was a tough day!

Oh and my mil asked me if I was watching One born Every Minute at the weekend..... unbelieveable.

I have to say that I love this board and the support that's here. As lucky says, it really has been a godsend.

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