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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Missed Miscarriage Help Please

12 replies

diddydee · 06/01/2011 21:26

Hi There,

I went for my dating scan on the 30th Dec 10 and was told the baby had died at 9+2 we belived i should be around 12wks. I was whisked in to a room talked at and was basicly recomended to have a conservative miscarriage and let things happen naturaly.
1 week later and nothing is happening grrr. I spoke to a friend today who has ad four mm and she told me that her levels of hormone had dropped and she could tell this by using a clearblue digital test tha shows how many weeks you are. It went down and showed her less pregnant over the space of a week.
I sped off and bought one and am still getting the same reading i did 6 weeks ago grrrr!!1 Spoke to the epads unit who were no help and just said i had an appointment for the 20th Jan(3 weeks after my scan!!).

I am just wanting to know if anone else has opted for this method and how long will it take. Was feeling better but am a wreak today. Any advice greatfuly received

OP posts:

mrsrobinredbreast · 06/01/2011 21:34

Hi Diddydee,

So sorry to hear that you have also been through this. I also had a MMC in September last year, similar to you I thought I should have been 12 weeks but the scan showed the baby died around 8 weeks.

I don't have any advice on conservative management and using the clearblue but I didn't want your post to go unsanswered. someone will be along in a minute with advice I am sure. I decided on an ERPC as my body had held onto the pregancy for 4 weeks already and I just needed some closure. Not the right way for everyone though, I appreciate that.

Be easy on yourself and do / don't do what you need to do. It does slowly get better, I promise. The girls on here are lovely and there's some great support.

Take care.

Original poster

diddydee · 06/01/2011 21:41

Hi Mrsrobinredbreast,

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I am sorry too for your loss. I was told that a mmc is not too common but looking at a few past posts it would seem that that is not the case.

I hope these feelig so improve and comments like your do give me hope.

Take Care
Em x

OP posts:

MrsB33 · 06/01/2011 22:07

hi diddydee, i also had a mmc back in sept and opted for conservative management. I started to bleed after sex on my 13 week, bleeding got worst over three days so had a scan and was told baby had died at 8 weeks.
It took my a week to miscarry and my cervix was closed, i went back three weeks later for my all clear scan.
Ive heard it can take up to 4 weeks, i think if you dont feel any movement over the weekend, you should go back to your gp and insist on a erpc if your not happy to wait for it too happen naturally.
My personal stance on it is that i wouldnt do it naturally again, i found it very painfull, mentally and physically.
If you opt for the natural root i recommend you Get yourself a hot water bottle and pain killers, co-codamol worked for me, and some extra large pads for the bleeding. Obviously everyones personal experience is different, mine just happened to be horrible.
Good luck with what ever you decide, and sorry for your loss.
Pm me if you want to talk about anything.

daisytaylor · 06/01/2011 22:35

Hi diddydee so sorry for your loss. I have had 2 mmc and i had an erpc with my first and decided to go natural with my second as i started to bleed very heavy and lost alot of clots with alot of pain. After 3 weeks the sac was still there. All in all mine took 10 weeks. I am not suggesting yours will be complicated but a mmc can take a long time. But for some women it will happen quickly with little or no problems. I agree with mrsb33 in that i would never go natural again and would opt for the erpc only because of my own personal experience. I think the best thing between now and your next appointment is to think and decide what is best for you and what you want to do and then at least you can go in and tell them your decision. You may even go on to mc naturally during this time. I will also say i also struggled emotionally with my experience and i became very down but i did get some excellent support on here. If you are not happy with your epau why don't you phone a unit at a different hospital and get some more advice or contact your gp.
I hope this has helped in some way and if you want to ask more questions please do. We will all do our best to support you. Big hugs xx

kat2504 · 06/01/2011 23:40

I had MMC in the summer. I decided that I couldn't wait it out, so I asked for the ERPC. I had to wait 5 days for it but I didn't even begin to miscarry in that time. I'm glad I went for the op, I think it was the right choice for me at the time. Waiting was just too awful. The ERPC option was not painless of course, but I think it was less traumatic than the natural option, even though I was scared of having an op.
You have the right to ask for an ERPC if you would rather not wait it out.
Don't waste your money on the tests until you have actually miscarried. They are useful after the event because when you get the not-pregnant reading, you know your menstrual cycle will start again. While you are waiting to miscarry/have the procedure, they are pretty pointless.

I'm very sorry for your loss and hope your ordeal is over soon.

GoodDaysBadDays · 06/01/2011 23:55

Hi
I had a mmc a couple of years ago, thought I was 12 but baby died at 10wks. Opted for ERPC as had had a very traumatic spontaneous late mc a few years earlier plus was going on holiday 2days later so wanted it over quickly.

My dsister had 2 mmc last year, first she opted for conservative management on medical advice but it took 3 weeks to start and 3 weeks of bleeding.

Her second she pushed for ERPC but still had to wait 2 weeks for this as she was 8 weeks showing a 6 week with no heartbeat so it was too early to be 100% for surgery.

A friend was advised just before christmas wait and see after mmc but could opt for ERPC at any point if she changed her mind. She did but was refused as she had already declined she did miscarry a few days later and it was over within 2 days

Don't know if any of that helps

I know you want to do something and know as much as possible but the tests wont be helpful.

Hope it's all over quickly for you

Look after and be kind to yourself x

Collie2 · 07/01/2011 10:18

Hi diddydee,

So sorry for your loss. I too went for a routine 12 week scan on dec 20th and was told the baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 9-3 weeks. There's no words than can describe the pain and disapointment. I was also given the same options as you and similary I opted to miscarry naturally, although I think at the time this was partly because I was in denial and completely conviced the were wrong. In the end though I believe it was the right thing. I misscarried just over a week later and within 3 days the worst was over and on the 30th i had a scan with epu and was discharged having had a full misscarrisge. I was really quite exhausted the the few days that followed- a short walk would take it out of me. But I think if you can miscarry naturally the physical recovery process is quicker. While waiting for the misscarrisge was really hard, I felt it gave me time to come to terms with the loss.

Take care diddydee, i understand what I painful time this is. Xx

Collie2 · 07/01/2011 10:23

Hi diddydee,

So sorry for your loss. I too went for a routine 12 week scan on dec 20th and was told the baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 9-3 weeks. There's no words than can describe the pain and disapointment. I was also given the same options as you and similary I opted to miscarry naturally, although I think at the time this was partly because I was in denial and completely conviced they were wrong. In the end though I believe it was the right thing. I misscarried just over a week later and within 3 days the worst was over and on the 30th i had a scan with epu and was discharged having had a full misscarriage. I was really quite exhausted the few days that followed- a short walk would take it out of me, but I think if you can miscarry naturally the physical recovery process is quicker.

While waiting for the misscarrisge was really hard, I felt it gave me time to come to terms with the loss.

Take care diddydee, i understand what a painful time this is. Xx

crochetcircle · 08/01/2011 08:39

Hi diddydee

I'm very sorry for your loss. I found it very emotionally painful experience when it happened to me in June.

I opted for conservative management (found out our baby died at 9 weeks when I was 10+5). Luckily for me it only took a few days from the diagnosis for the mc to start at 11 weeks. The worst was over that day, although the bleeding and a small amount of pain continued sporadically for around 2 weeks.

Happy to share more details about the actual experience itself if you are interested. However, I'm sure its different for everyone. I will say that I was glad afterwards that I had miscarried naturally.

Be kind to yourself in the weeks afterwards - there need not be any time limit on your grief.

For me, I needed two weeks off work to recover physically, and was sad for months afterwards.

megansmummy1 · 08/01/2011 23:16

Sorry for your loss, i had mmc in aug and like you I found out at the dating scan, my hosp tried to talk me out of going natural as they said it was not uncommon for it to go on for weeks. At their advice, i went for medical management which i found to be one of the most barbaric and traumatic experiences of my life. If i was unfortunate enough to suffer another, i would opt for the ERPOC but everyone is different, you just have to do what feels right for you.

kerryinsussex · 09/01/2011 00:36

Hi diddydee,
im sorry for your loss. I miscarried on 16th december and opted to let nature take its course. The worst happened the following day but after going back for a 2nd scan on 30th december i was told the sac is still there. The hospital advised me to wait another 2 weeks,this coming week will be the 2nd week and to see what happens. I am considering a d&c or erpc as i feel ive had enough of waiting.

hairyfairylights · 09/01/2011 18:26

Sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience, was advised there and then to have conservative management (ie: wait) but having had a MC already last year, I rang back the next day and asked for an ERPC as I really did't think I could go through the waiting and then the miscarriage and I wanted life to get back to normal as soon as possible.

good luck whatever you decide.

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