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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Miscarriage - how were you treated ?

57 replies

OnlyJust · 31/08/2005 19:30

I had a M/c (my 2nd) a few weeks back - both happened around 5-6 weeks. First one happened at home, 2nd one at the hospital just after I had had a scan that couldn't see anything. The actual nurses at the Early Preg Clinic were lovely but I was amazed at the lack of support elsewhere. Literally about 10 mins after it hapened I was given an internal by a doc who kept commenting that he couldn't see anything for the blood - what did he expect! I was in agony, not only physically but emotionally too.
I was then sent down to a general ward where no one spoke to me, I wasn't even oficially admitted or monitored in anyway - even though they were supposed to be keeping me in overnight under observation. In the end I discharged myself as I just wanted to be with my family. Since then I have had a letter + a phone call from the midwife team wanting to book me in - not what I needed.
I feel I can talk about it now - so just wondered what other peoples experiences were. Did you find medical staff understanding or supporting or just very matter of fact ?

OP posts:
lynz05 · 09/09/2005 18:17

Hi. This is the 1st time i've ever posted a message so forgive me!! Any experience of miscarriage is awful and obviously the later it happens the worse it is but at every stage - if you know your pregnant you start to feel a bond and when you lose the baby - you do feel emotional and helpless. So to feel like the hospital don't care - is AWFUL!!
Honestly, though some of what goes on in hospitals is probably more down to the way the hospital is ran rather than the staff. I miscarried at 10weeks and it was discovered when my booking-in scan showed an empty sack. It happened on a tuesday but they couldn't take me for a D&C until the Friday. So I was walking about for 3days knowing my baby had gone. When I did get the D&C I was put in the only gynae ward and there were people in there who had just been for an abortion. The staff were sympathetic though but again, physically and medically everything was done by the book but there doesn't seem to be a book for the mental effects of a miscarriage and lets face it there ain't an exam for sympathy and empathy - I wish there was!! I miscarried in 1998 and have gone on to have two lovely children - a boy and a girl. There are times when you look at the kids and think, I should really have three by now and I wonder if it was a boy or a girl but you shouldn't feel guilty - you'll always remember it but gradually.....remembering will get easier. I sympathise with all of you and I really hope you either go on to or have happy,healthy children!! xx

peepee · 09/09/2005 21:01

Urgent.......

Has anyone expereinced an ectopic p/g and an normal m/c. Have had the hospital on the phone 2 me tonite saying I need to go for another blood test as my HCG levels had not dropped much. Blood taken last friday and sunday. Since then have had really heavy bleeding with clots etc.. I s this what happens with an ectopic?

shhhh · 09/09/2005 21:15

Peepee, I have luckily only experienced x2 mc. Sorry I can't help you further. Not sure..but...thought eptopic is quite painful..? More painful than before you realise you have m/c normally (if there is a normal way [blussh])

I had blood taken for HCG levels, I thought they were supposed to increase not decrease inbetween samples.??? (your HCG had not dropped much) Sorry I may have read your post wrong.

peepee · 09/09/2005 21:20

it dropped cos i was m/c. Doc called tonite and is concerned it may be ectopic......told her I had passed clots etc and it was now easing off.
How ould I know if it wass ectopic? Wot is the bleeding pain like is it like an m/c?

KateF · 09/09/2005 21:35

As a med student I was taught bleeding=threatened miscarriage, pain=ectopic. When a m/c becomes inevitable there is usually some degree of pain as well but an ectopic often presents as severe pain and patient can become very unwell ie clinically shocked. A very early ectopic could be pain free as it is not yet large enough.

peepee · 10/09/2005 08:33

Thanks...

All sorted. It was a normal one as I expected. Doc. freaked me out when she called last nite. Went to AE and all was confirmed Ok.

Diddle · 15/09/2005 08:19

Well my experinces weren't exactly good either.
My first PG ended in M/C at 7 wks in January 2005, I started bleeding whilst visiting family 3 hours drive away from home, not heavy bleeding just spotting to start with. I had a dull ache in my belly but nothing major, So once we got home i kept checking and it got graduallly heavier, We decided to go a&e at our local hospital once the pain got worse. we sat for over and hour in the waiting room, They did a blood test, and asked me what i had lost. No scan or internal scan, the horrible male doctor told me that i probably was having a miscarriage, and there was nothing they could do. I should go home and rest. I was livid. I asked for a scan to confirm what was happening, but because it was the weekend they said they did not do scans on the weekend, and that the loss would happen on its own and they couldn't do anything to stop it. I begged the doctor, literally, i was so angry. I needed either re-assurance or a definite answer, not a probably. When he left, DH and i burst into tears. A nurse came in and spoek to us and i told her how apalled i was at his attitude, we had never experienced this before and were in total shock. She must have told him he was out of line, and he did come and apologise, but still wouldn't do a scan. Then for some reason I was admitted, not sure why really. I was taken up to a bed on a ward, had an id bracelet and everything, they said i may need to stay in, because my bleedng was heavy by then. All i could think was that i didn't want my DH to be on his own that night. I was then sent to see another doctor who was lovely. he said he didn't think i needed a scan, i was obviously having a miscarriage and gave me some leaflets and a letter for the doctor. We finally went home, after being in the hospital for 4 hours. I have never sobbed so much.

2nd miscarriage was in April 2005 at 9 wks. I was out working and went to the toilet and noticed something was wrong when i went to the toilet, just a little brown discharge this time. I went home and called the doctors who saw me that afternoon, but i had to wait a long time, no set time for the appointment. The doctor was very helpful, she checked my tummy and suggested i could either be admitted to hospital and have a scan the next day, or wait a few days and have a scan after the weekend. I initially chose to wait over the weekend, then got home and aspoke to SH who said to go overnight, so i called to change it and the bed had alreayd gone so i had to wait. I asked the doctor if i could have a scan that day at another local hospital, she called them all for me and there was one that could see me, s we drove 40 mins to another hospital and they didn't even knwo who we were, they weren't expecting us. We had to talk them into seeing us. apparenty nobody had handed our message over to the next shift. (always a good excuse) so eventually we saw someone, after a couple of hours. He told us that we couldn't have a scan there, nobody was available to do it, and they could only call someone to come in if it was an emergency. It was an emergency to me. They said they could do a blood test and i'd have to go back in 2 days for another. We had a big discussion with the doctor as to why we had been told we coudl ahve one, we had travelled all that way for nothing. I got very upset. The nurses were quite rude, and said we were out of line and suggested we were trying it on. We even called our doctor to let them speak to the nurses there. All they kept saying was that they couldn't do it, they ended up shooing us out, without having given me the blood test, and were really very rude to us. More sobbing to follow.

I wrote a letter to the doctors saying how shocked i was that we had not heard from anyone and that the care we had wasn't exactly good. that was April, we have heard nothing from anyone.

Our first baby would have been due today.

Sorry for the essay, not sure where all that has come from. didn't mean tog ive you all those details.

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