To end it all

[emptyshell]

My username's apt. My 7 week scan today revealed just an empty sack. I have to go through all of this again - I can't.

To the bitches who called the infertile or those who miscarry evolutionary dead ends... I hope one day you fucking suffer an ounce of the pain I feel right now.

To those who run around shouting and screaming and wanting favours because you have a child so you're something special - I hope you fucking miscarry and suffer like some of us have to.

To those of you who realize you have kids you love, but that the rest of the world might NOT want to simper and smile into your babyseat in Tescos and educationally develop your child because the whole world is morrally obliged to do that - I love you for having some perspective on things, and possibly a touch of empathy for the searing pain your infertile/miscarrying sisters may go through.

I don't know if I will end it or not - but yes, right now after three years of infertility, followed by two glimmers of hope put out by miscarriages, sat here waiting to miscarry the empty sac inside... it's a fair possibility.

So sorry for your loss.

And without giving you false hope - Are they SURE? . . Like a million % sure?

I was told at 6weeks and 8 weeks that it was an empty sac and in noway a viable preg and that I should have a D&C. Said I wanted to wait and see if I would m/c naturally (after 2 M/c's before) and it was a viable preg which resulted in my now 4yo DD.

Oh emptyshell I was so happy for you when I saw elsewhere that you were pregnant again. I'm so sorry it hasn't worked out. Please talk to someone about this. I've lost more than one pregnancy and it's devastating, but there is hope for you. You just need help to get to the point where you can see it.

Sorry emptyshell.

Life is total and utter shit sometimes.
The people who said those things to you are bastards.

Hang on.

Good one, Helen

Just found this....so sorry for your pain,can i just say that i'm the luckiest person alive(apart from my older brother),we got the best Mum we could ever have hoped for,when we were adopted.Unfortunatley there was no ivf or councelling in those old days...so my Mum was always told it was her 'fault' she couldn't have children...well,she was made to be a mother,and so she was the best.....good luck and lots of love

empty am so sorry for your loss.

I have posted positive and intended to be helpful replies to you on other threads previously. At the risk of repeating myself, and totally echoing what viv and hairy have said, unless you seek some professional help for your anger and depression you WILL NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE FORWARD.

There is an expression we used to use in management development, which is equally pertinent to real life, "if you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always got".

I had an ERPC today for my 3rd MMC in 12 months; today is one year exactly on from the day my first MMC was confirmed at 13 weeks scan. I'm not writing this to trump you in a misery competition, but to explain that I DO get your pain and frustration.

BUT please get help and support. Don't be a person who is so stubborn they implode because they refused to change their attitude.

Fucking hell, give her a break today!

Empty I am so sorry to hear this and you are still feeling this way.
As others from our thread have said we have always supported you and tried to give help and advice, now more than ever.
Please seek help, words on a screen no matter how sympathetic and how much other posters can empathize are no substitute for real life, face to face interaction.

Emptyshell Ae you reading all these? Are you OK?

Hi Empty

Reading your post made me cry and cry. You have expressed an anger and a pain that many many women on this site have felt.

It so so unfair that you should have to suffer this way. I would love to help you, as I am sure would every other poster on this thread.

Is there anything we can do? Are you alright?
I hope you are not answering because you are with someone who is helping you, but if you come back online and read this, please let us know if there is anything we can do and how you are feeling now.

love xxxx

Oh, empty. I had my fingers crossed for you today. I am so very, very sorry.

Emptyshell, how are you doing? I am a bit worried for you as you have not come back. I very much hope you have somebody in RL who is there for you.
Just to let you know I am still thinking of you.

Emptyshell, I am so, so sorry.
Please come back and let us know you are OK.

Emptyshell, I am so, so sorry.
Please come back and let us know you are OK.

empty I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope that you find the strength to get through today, and tomorrow you will find the strength to get through tomorrow until the raw pain starts to numb. I am thinking of you, I really hope you're ok.

Thinking of you this morning Empty

Empty I've just found your post - I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking about you my dear.

I really am worried about her now. She hasn't posted since yesterday.

I am too chipmonkey, does anyone have an email address or can FB her?

Can MNHQ send her a message. Hope she has just taken some time off mumsnet cause it is painful and not done anything. :(

Am gutted for you, empty , hope you are okay :(

She doesn't accept CAT. Will email MNHQ.

Not much they can do apparently. Sometimes all they have is an email address and no complete name.

Does anyone know ES in RL or FB etc?

Oh, I hope she comes back on. Just to confirm she's ok. Suspect she will need a couple days off at least.

Emptyshell if you read this and you haven't seen it before try www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/ I've found it invaluable, and not as depressing as mumsnet can be sometimes for someone having a hard time. Everyone on the site is having diffuclties with either infertility or misscarriage. And talk of children and pregnancy for women who do get lucky is kept to one section that you can "opt out" of. It even has warnigns just in case, everyone understands what you are going through.

Luckily for some people they can never understand what infertility does to you and the depression that comes with it. In any other situation you grieve for a year or couple years and then get over it. Infertiliy you never stop grieving because you always hope.

chipmonkey no, only from various threads on here, where she has previously talked in similar ways and then disappeared from the thread for a while or not posted on that one again, but has popped up on a new one. I say this only to explain that she has disappeared for a while before.

Obviously we all hope she is doing ok. There is a lot of concern for her and her welfare.