To end it all

[emptyshell]

My username's apt. My 7 week scan today revealed just an empty sack. I have to go through all of this again - I can't.

To the bitches who called the infertile or those who miscarry evolutionary dead ends... I hope one day you fucking suffer an ounce of the pain I feel right now.

To those who run around shouting and screaming and wanting favours because you have a child so you're something special - I hope you fucking miscarry and suffer like some of us have to.

To those of you who realize you have kids you love, but that the rest of the world might NOT want to simper and smile into your babyseat in Tescos and educationally develop your child because the whole world is morrally obliged to do that - I love you for having some perspective on things, and possibly a touch of empathy for the searing pain your infertile/miscarrying sisters may go through.

I don't know if I will end it or not - but yes, right now after three years of infertility, followed by two glimmers of hope put out by miscarriages, sat here waiting to miscarry the empty sac inside... it's a fair possibility.

I can't believe this has happened to you, I'm so so sad. And I feel very deep sympathy for you, empty.

But YABU. I also think you need some serious help as you have such a bitter attitude to others, and you are in so much pain, over such long periods of time, and this is a recurrent thing for you - please, please seek out some appropriate help.

I really understand your need to rant, but I do find you saying some of the things you say out loud really quite worrying. and very inconsiderate of others, when you feel that others should be so considerate of you.

Please take care of yourself. :( :)

Emptyshell I can fully understand your pain & anger.

I think you posting on here was a very positive thing to do, as you need to vent your anger & frustration somewhere.

I went through the torture of infertility for many years, along with a m/c. I am lucky as I have 2 wonderful boys now (even with their disabilities).

Please stay on here for support as I feel that you will need it for a while.

I'm so sorry.

Wishing I could scoop you up for an unMNlike cuddle...

I'm so terribly, terribly sorry.

emptyshell my heart is breaking for you, I have had fertility issues myself but thankfully I now have a child. I feel your pain...please don't give up ((((big hug)))

Anger is part of the grieving process.

I hope you get through this and you have some RL support. The Miscarriage Association are really helpful if you feel you would like to speak to someone about it, and they know how you feel as they all have personal experience.

Oh for GOODNESS SAKE, all you preaching at her - today is NOT the day for that.

Empty I'm so sorry. Please try and get through today, however you can. Even just go to sleep for the rest of the day, if you can. Try and have someone who cares about you there.

And keep talking.

So sorry for your loss.

Emptyshell, I've read lots of your posts and I am so, so sorry for your loss.

I've had two mcs myself (both in the last nine months), and well remember the bitterness and fury, as well as the grief.

So I totally sympathise - but I also second everyone who suggested seeking professional help. Please, when you feel strong enough, call somebody.

I will be thinking of you.

Sweetheart I wish I could just hold you and let you cry it all out, or come and kick some dustbins with you :(

Life is fucking unfair...

I am lucky that I have never experienced this sadness, however, I wish that no-one had to experience it. Thinking of you and hoping you are surrounded with the support of those who love you.

empty - I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this again.

I know that both myself and the rest of the lovely ladies on the miscarriage threads have tried to give you support and advice in the past, which you've always been very reluctant to take. So all I can say is please please speak to your doctor or call the Samaritans or Miscarriage Association - I'm no health professional but based on all of your posts over the last six months, it clearly sounds like you are suffering from depression and so really do need professional help.

I hope both you and your DH are kind to yourselves over the coming days.

How fucking shit. Carry on letting the anger out, we can take it.

Please find a way just to get through the rest of this twat of a day. Call someone (friend, family, samaritans, whoever), stay with us here on MN, try to sleep, whatever. Life can be so painful but there are beautiful times too.

And if any dickhead says any bullshit like that to you again you would not be unreasonable to rip their head clean off.

Thinking about you.

I am so, so sorry.
I had two and a half years' unexplained infertility and the subsequent investigations, and a loss at 22 weeks. Yes I am now a parent but I can still remember the way I felt...

Be kind to yourself, and perhaps in a bit look into getting some counselling. If you are suicidal then links to the Samaritans have been posted, I'd echo that it's a good idea to call.

Hold on to that anger, harness it, let it bring you through these worst of days. We're big enough and ugly enough to take it here! Well, I am anyway... Sometimes anger keeps you going when nothing else can.

I'm very sorry for you emptushell. Take no notice of those who have called you names jkust hold on.

So sorry to hear of your loss. Life is bloody unfair sometimes.

Would echo others thoughts on getting as much support as you need from loved ones, professionals etc. Day by day.

My sister had 3 miscarriages - I don't think anyone can ever understand your pain and torture unless they have expereinced it too. Big hug.

emptyshell, I've posted to you a few times. I am genuinely gutted for you. And was really happy when after the cramps it looked like you were going to do OK. Infertility is horrible and no matter how empathetic or sympathetic a person is unless they have been through it themselves... it is very hard to take their kind words. It all feels false and anything they say just hurts you more.

I know how difficult this has been for you :(

I just hope that you can have a chance to get the medical help you need and fix whatever it is that is wrong and stopping you from keeping you babies.

Also I don't think this is the time for other posters to tell her to "just adopt" it isn't that easy ... and this isnt the time.

OP i am so sorry for your loss.
please be kind to yourself x

Empty I was thinking of you this morning and I am so so sorry for your loss .

Emptyshell I'm so so sorry.

I wish I could give you a hug.

Is there anyone in real life you can talk to? x

so,so sorry for your loss,
i know a tiny amount of your pain,
and i will be thinking of you,
im not sure if it will be of comfort to you(it was for me,sadly) but my mil had 7 mc's before she had her 1st child.
everything is possible.
you are still a wonderful person with a wonderful life ahead of you.
please dont give up on yourself.

emptyshell I can totally understand your anger, I don't have fertility issues but recently had a MC and I know that being angry and resentful comes as part of the grieving process. Alongside your fertility problems you must be feeling it tenfold. Nothing wrong with having a vent and being angry at the whole fucking world now, why not?. There is nothing more I can say than I'm so sorry this is happening to you x

Jesus people, give emptyshell a break and don't be so bloody cold and unfeeling. Do you have no empathy? Just give her a break. Rage at the unfairness of it all is part of grief.

Emptyshell, I am so sorry.

I am so sorry.