Complete molar pregnancy

[lisalou29]

Hi all,
I found out 5 weeks ago that my 14 week prgnancy was infact a molar pregnancy. At first I had no idea of what the doctors were saying to me and what had happened to my baby??!! I had to have a D&C two days later and when I came home I was still in a daze of what had happened. I didn't sleep very well that night so decided to get up and do some reading up on the net about molar pregnancy's, I was really shocked to what I found. It's the hardest thing to lose a baby and i felt cheated by mother nature as my body was telling me that I was pregnant but there was no baby! but I grow a placenta which fed a tumour. I still find it hard to come to turms with as I bounded with something that was never there but my body told me I was pregnant. Im still having blood tests done every two weeks to make sure my levels are coming down which they are thank god, I dont know how the women that have to have chemo after having a molar pegnancy do it. I know things will get better but its going to take time.
Lisa

[MummyAbroad]

no problem hon!

I like talking to people who understand too, and very few women have had such long drawn out mc's like me and you. Its not that long ago that I was in your position. I know its hard! I only had about a month from being told it was molar to finding out it actually wasnt and that I didnt need monitoring any more. I can only imagine how difficult it must be having that uncertainty of whether you will need treatment or not hanging over you for even longer.

You seem to be doing so well though, your numbers have come down really fast, I really believe you are going to be one of the lucky ones who don't need any treatment at all. I know that waiting 6 months before TTC is horrible news too. I think I cried more about that, (in my case they said a year) than I did about the health scare!

Its now been 5 months since my miscarriage (and 4 weeks since I got the "all clear" from molar), and I only just feel emotionally ready to TTC again. In fact I think for the first few months I just concentrated on the health aspect, when that was over I started to accept the loss of the baby and grieve and its only now that I feel ready to start again (although my body is still not ready, still waiting for AF!) I guess what I am trying to say is that your 6 month wait could be a blessing in disguise as it gives you time to properly heal physically and emotionally.

Fingers crossed for you that the numbers keep coming down. Are you still being tested every two weeks then?

love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Hazeyjane]

Sorry to hear about your levels lisalou29.

It is such a frutrating thing to have to wait, even worse when you are desperate for those levels to drop.

I agree with Mummyabroad, about using the time to get in to a good place mentally and physically.

Dh and I had tried for so long to get pregnant wwhen I had a mp, that I was actually relieved that we could stop ttc for a while, and just get on with life, even though I was aware that I wasn't getting any younger.

In the last few months of treatment dh and I decided that we would get married as soon as treatment finished. We wanted to do elope, and do it just for each other, and it was lovely to spend time planning that, and focusing on something positive rather than obsessing over the figures.

Keep on posting and look after yourself.

[MummyAbroad]

Hazeyjane How lovely that something positive came out of a such negative circumstances.

[lisalou29]

Morning all,
Im really upset, I have just took my middle child for her first day at school which is sad in its self, but there are about four others mums that were pregnant at the same time as me and have now got their new born babies! ITS NOT FAIR.

Why do I still feel like this? I thought I was getting over it but I dont think I ever will after today. The Dr put me on Ant-depressants to help with my mood but all they have made me feel is ANGRY and unable to cry! Im not sure that this is a good thing!

I know Im feeling like crap because of my levels not being under where they should be but it sucks to see ladys that used to talk to you when we were all pg and now they dont know what to say to me, which I do understand but I need my friends right now.
I think that PG women should all live on an island away from me.

Im sorry if Im moaning yet again I just want to smile again. xxxxxxx

[Hazeyjane]

Oh Lisalou, it is so hard to be surrounded by pregnant women, when you're in the middle of all this. Even harder, I think, with a molar pregnancy, because it is such an unheard of thing, and can drag on for such a long time. I know that I practically became a hermit when I was having chemo, because I was sick of trying to explain the whole thing.

When do you hear about your levels again? Hopefully they will be down soon, and it will be time to start looking forward to ttc.

Find a friend that you can eat cake and have a whinge to, or come on hear for a moan. If you want to CAT me (I think
I'm CATtable!)then please do.

Take care of yourself. x

[MummyAbroad]

Hi Lisalou and Hazeyjane,

4 of them? Bloody hell thats rough Lisa! Seeing other pregnant women is like a special form of torture. I take my son to the park everyday and there is one lady who is due a few weeks after I would have been and its SO hard. I was chatting to her the other day and she mentioned something that made me refer to my pregnancy and she got up and walked off! (She knew all about my miscarriage as I told her at the time) I guess I can add feeling like a leper to my list of jealousy, anger, sadness etc...

I have been on anti depressants before (after DS was born) and they do take about 6 weeks to start working, perhaps give them a bit longer? I know that anger is a very common response to grief and I spent a lot of time over using the phrase "Its not fair" too. Just because you arent crying, doesnt mean you arent processing the loss. Kicking in some dustbin lids is allowed!

I know its hard to have hope when all the medical stuff is still so up in the air, but it IS DEFINITELY better to take this time to let all your emotions come out, anger, sadness, whatever they may be. That way when your body is ready, you will be ready too and you can have a nice relaxed happy pregnancy.

Hazeyjane is right, moan as much as you like, I dont mind!!

xxxxx

[lisalou29]

Hi all,

Had latest results today from Charring cross, levels have gone down to 5!!!! I know its good that they are down but still have to go and have yet another blood test, god I sound like a miney old women! lol.
Its so frustrating all this waiting and the fact that I cant move on till they give me the all clear, I just want it to hurry up not. I hope you are all well.
xxxxxxxxx

[MummyAbroad]

Still going in the right direction! Thats great! xxxx

[Hazeyjane]

Glad they're going down. The last bit is so frustrating, like watching a snail crawling over the finish line!

I have just had to do a blood test for Charing Cross today, as I had dc3 10 weeks ago, I did a standard urine test after 6 weeks, but they contacted me and asked for a blood test. I'm sure everything is ok, but it does suddenly make it hit home that it is something that could affect me for the rest of my life.

[MummyAbroad]

Congratulations on DC3 Hazey, I do hope everything turns out all right with your bloods xxx

[lisalou29]

Hi all,

Been to yeovil for more bloods today wont get the results from Charing till Tuesday. I havent been on here much as I think I needed time to do alot of shouting in the field with the dog!! Thought I would let you know how I was doing. Hope you are all well. xxxx

[MummyAbroad]

Hello,

Glad you are OK, must be nerve-wracking waiting for results.

I am not feeling to great at the moment, have had to abandon plans to TTC because I still havent got my period 11 weeks after ERPC. I am getting really worried that there is still something wrong. After partial molar was ruled out I was just left hanging with no explanation as to why placental cells regrew or what the lump on my lung is. I am going for a CAT scan on wednesday to get the lump checked out. Have just been scareing myself silly googling things and have seen lots of horrible connections between mc and blood clotting disorders caused by pregnancy/medical procedures/long haul flights (all of which I have had!) I am probably getting myself into a state over nothing - I just really want it all to be OVER! perhaps I need to go find a field and get a dog...??

sorry for the rant,

take care, and dont forget to let us know your results xxx

[lisalou29]

Hi Hunni,
Im sorry that you are still not getting any answers, Its so frustrating isin it. Im sure that when they scan you on wednesday that all will be fine. ITs very strange that you havent had a period! 11 weeks is a long time. Did they say why this could be? Bloody Doctors Iv had enough of them!!!

I phoned Charring today and my levels have gone up to 10 (they were 5) so I have to have yet another test on the 11 Oct to see whats happening and where to go from there!! I felt a bit sorry for the lady on the phone that I spoke to because I had a melt down and started screaming at her down the phone. I think I just got so cross and got my hopes up that they would be under 4 so I could be put on to follow up, that when she said that she was sorry but they had gone upto 10 I just LOST IT!

Take care sweetie and let me know how things go on wednesday. xxxxx

[mistlethrush]

Its a very strange position to be in - ringing for blood tests - and the nurses saying 'I'm sorry, you're test came back negative' and you being over the moon about it - they're not expecting that reaction....

I had a mp after 4yrs of ttc - had erpc when a scan showed that it was not a viable pregnancy and I was spotting at 10wks - and hosp said they would contact my Drs if there was a problem (I was on holiday at the time). 3mo of goign to the Dr with uncontrolable bleeding - eventually got a scan and an immediate 2nd ERPC - 2 wks later went in again due to another rather heavy bleed - and was immediately admitted (again) and carted off to Sheffield for treatment. I was banned from TTC for a year after chemo. Ds was born about 2 yrs afterwards.

I've since had 2 mc - the trouble is that you end up having the spectre of chemo hanging over them - its not just the fact that the pregancy is not going to be sucessful that you need to get over, its a worry whether its all going to kick off again - particulalry as my levels have taken a long time to return to normal afterwards.

And its quite normal to think 'its not fair' and 'why them and not me' - I still feel that on occasions...

Hope all turns out OK.

[MummyAbroad]

Hang in there lisalou !!!

so sorry you didnt get the news you wanted. All you can do is summon up your reserve strength and just ride it out. I really hope your bloods yield more positive info. Huge hugs to you. xxx

I've been having a rought time recently. Its my due date tomorrow Its been really hard to accept that all this has been going on for so long, when I first found out I had an mmc I thought that it would all be over in a matter of days My CAT scan results were unintelligable so I have an appointment with a lung specialist tomorrow who can hopefully decipher them. So sick of waiting and waiting. I am taking progesterone for 10 days to make me have a period (no one knows why it hasnt come) At least on that front something proactive is being done.

mistlethrush I'm so sorry for your losses. What a lot you have had to cope with. xxxx

Here is hoping that we all get some good news this week. We have all had more than our share of bad times!!!

[mistlethrush]

MA hope all goes well with the appointment tomorrow. I had my last dose of chemo on my edd, so I know how you feel. Hope they can get to the bottom of the spot asap because its not nice having that sort of thing hanging over you.

[MummyAbroad]

Thanks Mistlethrush,

It did go well. I found out that the lump is not a blood clot, so its not connected to the mc which is what I was most worried about. The CAT scan results showed that it has mainly benign (harmless) characteristics, the doctor is saying that it is very unlikely to be cancerous. I still have to be monitored a bit more, but overall it is a huge relief!

Right now I am feeling very lucky, twice I have come close to facing a horrible diagnosis and both times ended up in the clear. Its ridiculously nerve wracking though. I feel so stressed my shoulders are permanently scrunched up by my ear lobes!

How are you doing? Do you mind me are you TTC right now?

xxxxxxxx

Thinking of you lisalou hope you are OK xxx

[mistlethrush]

MA - I think I've given up thinking we might ever have a second. We had so much heartache getting to the stage we had mistlechick - then both mc it took AGES to get my hcg level down to 0 so had a lot of worry on top of the general crapness of a mc. I don't think that dh wants to go through that again - and we do have our hands full with mc anyway - he can be completely delightful, but he is definitely very full-on (when he's awake). So we're going to look on the bright side of having an only, as that seemed so far out of reach when the treatment for the mp was underway.

So pleased that it was good news at the appointment - what a great relief!

[MummyAbroad]

Hi Mistlethrush, that decision seems understandable after everything you've been through. You must be an incredibly strong person to have survived it all.

I would really like another one. My DS is full on too, but making the decision to try for two took so long and was so hard I dont want to change my mind now. Sadly I'm really starting to doubt if it can happen. I havent got my period 14 weeks after the ERPC, just taken a 10 day course of progesterone to bring it on, and still nothing I'm not ready to give up though, and I'm going to start by getting a new doctor and seeing if I can get some answers/help that way, but for the first time there is a big doubt if I'll end up with what I want in the end. A cristal ball would be a good thing round about now!

[Hazeyjane]

Glad to hear things are ok with you MummyAbroad. Hope your levels are still going down LisaLou.

I had an all clear from my bloodtest (taken after having ds, because of some wobbly results).

Before having dd1 I truly believed we would never have children, we had been trying for years, had 2 mc, including the mp, and I was so terrified of it happening again. We were very lucky to have had a surprise pregnancy with dd2, because I felt as though we had 'lucked out' having dd1, and didn't want to risk having another.

Of course 3 years down the line at 41 we had ds, and now I can't believe how lucky we have been.

[moominn]

I've been diagnosed with a CMP recently and am being monitored at Charing Cross.

I'm waiting my 2nd lot of results from them and I am really worried because they are not coming down quickly. Pre DC on the 17th September they were 12000 and the first set at Charing Cross on the 4th Oct they were 10300.

[Hazeyjane]

moominn, so sorry to hear you are going through a mp.

My story is further down the thread, I want to write more, but am in the midst of a sickness bug (dd1, not me - with ten tons of washing).

Would it help for me to dig out my molar pregnancy diary, it showed how my levels dropped (they started over 250,000), so maybe you could have some idea o how they might go down.

[MummyAbroad]

Hi moominnn,

I am so sorry for your loss and that you have to go through all this. If you read above you will see that I had a suspected mp that in the end wasnt confirmed, but I did receive lots of help from the people at Charing Cross. I found this document the most useful
onlinetog.org/cgi/reprint/10/1/3

as it has lots of graphs and tables that you can compare your numbers to.

Hope you see a nice big drop quickly, the waiting is agonising. xxxxxxxxxxxx

[lisalou29]

Hi all,
Sorry I havent been on here for quite a while! I needed a bit of time to sort my head out and try to move on. I was given a normal result in Sep 10 and im now on follow up till April 11. Charring cross have said that once a reach April we will be able to start trying again. Truth be told we havent been using any protection for the last couple of months but with no luck! I did do some reading up and they do say that once your levels are to 0 then its fine to start trying but the Doctors like you to wait for 6 months to be on the safe side.

I really hate waiting for anything!!!!

I wouls like to hear some of your thought for telling off's about me ttc!

I hope you al had a fab crimbo and a great new year, and here's hoping that we all have something to celebrate this year. xxxxxxx


Sending you all lots of hugs. xxxxx

[MummyAbroad]

Hi lisalou

Glad to hear you are alright and on the home run as it were. I have been "cheating" at TTC too. After all my tests/CAT scans and other malarky I finally got a proper diagnosis for my problem - I have Ashermans Syndrome (scar tissue on the uterus/cervix) after being told in Costa Rica that I would be infertile forever by 4 different gynecologists I flew to London in November to get treated by a surgeon who specialises in AS cases, then had 6 weeks of high dose hormone therapy, more tests and finally got the all clear to TTC - yesterday!

(I think if I HAD had mp, it would have been quicker!!!)

Anyway, I have had unprotected sex this month, not much, but am in with a chance. Planning on stepping things up next month though, now that its official

I wont tell you off for starting early, I seem to remember a lot is down to individual doctors opinions and the particular case with wait times ranging from 3-12 months. So glad you are healthy though, and escaped the chemo. Lets hope this year is our year xxxxx