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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

StillBirth at 31 Weeks Pregnant...

56 replies

BreakDancingBadger · 19/07/2010 09:30


I discovered last sat that my baby daughter had died on Fri 9th... I was sent home from the hospital til Monday where i gave birth to her. I dont know why im starting this post really.... I just miss her so much and would give anything to give her a cuddle again... I feel so empty...

OP posts:
fearnelinen · 19/07/2010 09:33

Oh dear, much love to you and sorry for your loss. Take your time, one day I'll promise you'll smile just a little when you remember her little kicks. XXX

mumatron · 19/07/2010 09:38

so very sorry for you. i can't imagine the pain you are feeling.

keep posting if it makes you feel better.


SoupDragon · 19/07/2010 09:38

So sorry for your loss. Sadly there are many on MN who have been where you are now. hopefully one will be along who can offer you support.

Chocolatedays · 19/07/2010 10:06

So sorry for you and your family.

waitingforbedtime · 19/07/2010 10:08

I am so so sorry for your loss

Jackstini · 19/07/2010 10:11

So sorry BDB, am sure the empty feeling is completely normal and your heart aches for you to hold her.
Look after yourself, have you got someone close by to be with you?

going · 19/07/2010 10:11

SO very sad for you and your family

knackered76 · 19/07/2010 11:07

So, so sorry for your loss I can't imagine what you are going, and have been, through. Do whatever you have to help you get through this. Have you been offered counselling?

ViveLaFrak · 19/07/2010 11:16

So sorry to hear your loss. Talk about it if it helps, cry if you need to and do cherish the memories you have of your little girl.

Did you give her a name?

BreakDancingBadger · 19/07/2010 11:53

We called her Freya Evie and she was the spitting image of her beautiful daddy.

I am now having to deal with the jealousy of my sister in law, who it would appear is pissed off at the attention we are getting....

We do not need this now.. I have still got to register Freyas death and organise a funeral and now we have all this on top.

OP posts:
waitingforbedtime · 19/07/2010 12:02

Ignore your sister in law, just completely shut it out (or shout at her which would also be fine).

Freya Evie is a beautiful name.

Dropdeadfred · 19/07/2010 12:05

Ignore everyone but yourself, your DH and immediate family.
I am so sorry for what you are going through...
Just get through each hour at a time and do no let anyone or anything get in the way of what you feel you need to do right now.

ViveLaFrak · 19/07/2010 12:07

Freya is a beautiful name.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with your sister in law on top of everything else but apart from her it sounds as though you have good support.

Can the hospital help with registering the death or do you want to do it yourself? It's perfectly understandable if you do, but you don't have to if you don't feel up to it.

not4anotherday · 19/07/2010 12:07

I'm so sorry that your beautiful daughter has passed away.Sweet Freya.

KnitterNotTwitter · 19/07/2010 12:10

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened to you - take time to both grieve properly and keep talking about your baby.... she did exist and she did know that you loved and wanted her.

Freya is a beautiful name.

Snuppeline · 19/07/2010 12:13

I'm so sorry for your loss. Forget about everyone elses needs for the moment, apart from your DH of course. Especially strange reactions from petty people like your SIL.

Get help where you can. Perhaps one of your or DH parents can do all the practical things for the funeral, like make the phone calls etc and you and DH can just choose the content? I hope your GP and midwife can help with further support for your very tough bereavement.

My only advise would be that you try to make as many memories as you can for the future (like put pictures into an album and set aside clothes etc). It may be very hard to do and you may not be able to look at these for a long time without considerable pain but you may find they give you comfort in future. Someone else will come by in a little while who can give you more useful advise. Thinking of you.

LunaticFringe · 19/07/2010 13:00

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BreakDancingBadger · 19/07/2010 19:19

Thank you everyone for all your kind words. Its so nice to remember that there are normal kind people in this world when dealing with pathetic humans.

Lunatic Fringe could you please post the link to that thread, thank you so much


OP posts:
BreakDancingBadger · 19/07/2010 19:34

Jackstini- My DH, mum and best friends have been beyond amazing. They are all looking after me and helping out with my DS.

Knackered76 - We are still waiting for the bereavement midwife to show her face. My lovely GP phoned me today as she has just found out and offered to come round and see me to make sure im ok. She is gonna look into why we havent seen the midwife and try and find out some of my test results as i was rushed back in hospital for IV antibiotics for an infection which i still havent received the results for.

I went out today and bought a memory box for all our photos, hand and foot prints and hair that we have. And tomorrow we will go and register her death...

The other day i was trying to send my ds off to sleep and started singing twinkle twinkle... I completely broke down as Freya used to recognise the song and kick us both...

OP posts:
freyski · 19/07/2010 19:35

sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter

knickers0nmyhead · 19/07/2010 19:36

So sorry to hear your sad news

TotalChaos · 19/07/2010 19:40

very sorry that you lost your baby.

SacharissaCripslock · 19/07/2010 19:40

I'm so so sorry.

Freya is a gorgeous name. In fact it was my chosen name if my DS3 had been a girl!

Have you been on the SANDS site? When my DS2 was stillborn I found that site a lifesaver. I never posted, just read and read thread after thread and it helped so much.

youremindmeofthebabe · 19/07/2010 19:52

I am so sorry for your loss. Just in case lunatic isn't around, then this thread is the one she's referring to, i think.

I echo the recommendation for SANDS, they have telephone counsellors who have been through similar situations, and group meetings, perhaps for when you may feel a little stronger. ((hugs))

LunaticFringe · 19/07/2010 19:54

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