Weight gain

[AlertCat]

In the past say three years or so, I have put on 2 dress sizes (I don’t own scales so tend to go by my jeans, but when I was a member of the gym last summer their scales had me between 78 and 82kg (you could get a different result by moving the scale around a bit). At 20 I was a size 10-12; at 42, 43 I was a size 12-14 (always been busty). Now at 47 I’m nudging a size 16. It’s all on my belly, really.

(Also I know I am heavy but always have been, even as a teen when I was very slim I was heavier than other people. I’m pretty strong. That’s another reason I don’t go on weight but on size.)

I am annoyed because I’m pretty active and do cardio and walk a lot (7000+ steps most days) plus yoga etc. I don’t diet because I had disordered eating as a teen/young adult and I hated my body for years, only happy when I got rid of the full length mirrors and the scales!

If I’m honest I have been on the chocolate and I eat big portions, BUT I eat similarly to how I have always eaten and have never been this big.

Am I right to blame menopause? And is there something I can do about it? My jeans are uncomfortably tight at the waist (fine still at the thigh and the bum) and I can’t afford new ones!

I found I had to cut down on what I ate to keep the weight off. As we age, we need less calories so if you’re not adjusting your portions in line with this, you are going to put on weight I’m afraid. I used menopause as an opportunity to overhaul my approach to food and exercise and I’m slowly losing the 3 stone I gained. 2 down, 1 to go!

Sad face.

I like having a full tummy after dinner. I feel like I’m hungry again before bedtime otherwise (and can’t have late cup of tea because then I have to get up in the night for a wee). Do I have to suck up being hungry?

I feel like it's not so much that we have to eat tiny amounts as we get older, its just that we were more likely to 'get away with it' when we were younger!
You have to pay much more attention to portion sizes and snacks IME.

You shouldn't have to be hungry though. I've lost over 6st the last couple of years during peri and I'm abig eater.
The trick is filling up on low cal stuff like fruit and veg. For example i had tofu stir fry last night. I used half the portion of noodles but double the stir fry mix, made a massive bowl full!
And if evenings are a problem then save some calories for later. My usual evening treat is a big bowl of berries with a soya yoghurt and a sprinkle of granola (finished with a couple of chocolate almonds and low cal caramel syrup.....yum!)

Thank you. I think if I was on my own it would be easier. OH has a physical job and likes meat. Dd won’t eat meat or things like stir fry, curry, anything cooked all together except tomato pasta sauce. I try to make stuff all of us can happily eat with minimal adjustments.

I know that’s another excuse. But it’s also true!

Maybe I’ll get into dates as an evening snack. Aren’t they high in sugar though?

You can't 'blame' the menopause completely as all women experience menopause.

I like having a full tummy after dinner.
Ideally (I've read this) you should stop eating at a point where you could eat the whole amount again.

Weight gain during peri and post menopause is on the belly- apple shapes. It's very unhealthy and can lead to diabetes and heart disease. The answer is to eat less of some things and more of the food that fills you up but isn't so high in calories.

It might help to do your BMI because although it's not super-accurate, it gives an idea.

I like the saying 'You can't outrun the fork' (quote by a science expert on metabolism.) Weight control is 80% what you eat and 20% exercise.
TBH you've said what your downfalls are so you can change them.
Why not try eating within a window? If you can allow 14 hours (or 12 as a minimum) between you last and first meal every day that can help.

Last meal at 7pm then nothing to 8am. Do-able.

Dates are high in sugar. Not much different to chocolate.

Maybe you've got to teach your body not to want to feel full all of the time?
Wean your DH off meat a bit? It's not that healthy if it's red meat. Chicken? Fish? Vegetarian dishes?

I'm late 40s and am going through something similar. A size 8 in my 20s and a Size 10 in my 30s. In my early 40s I became a mother and put on a lot of weight. The lockdown didn't help and I am now a Size 12, edging towards a Size 14. With summer around the corner I've started going to the gym (I'm doing the Couch to 5k app) and reducing my calories. I eat 2–3 boiled eggs for breakfast and it keeps me full for several hours. Blended meals or thick soups are also great for keeping me feeling full. I agree with PP that, at our age, we need to consume less and move more.

Yep, unfortunately I believe it's a fact of life as we age. I'm early 50s and on HRT, I'm not hugely overweight but have a small frame so even a few extra pounds show on me. I'm fit and well but I just cannot eat the amount that I used to. When it comes to foods, rather than cut things out I have reduced my portion sizes, when it comes to treats - chocolate & pastries in particular which are my weakness - I've had to almost eliminate them and same for alcohol.

I’m having slightly smaller evening meals, and going to plan slightly lighter food (we had a chickpea curry last night and he ate it but I think there will be grumbles if there’s too many meals like that. I guess I can fill up on broccoli though!

Grumble grumble. ‘Snot fair.

I totally agree with @JinglingSpringbells we need to get used to feeling a bit hungry. "Fasting" is good if you can - I do my skincare and brush my teeth quite early in the evening, after dinner, so that I'm less inclined to eat again. It helps. Also I have a terrible habit of eating too fast, we need to slow down and we'll then get the signal that we've had enough before we completely stuff ourselves. I like my food to be quite hot though so that's my excuse!! And up the water intake, that can help too as often we confuse thirst with hunger.

What time do you finish eating?
I'm done by 7pm. In bed for 11pm. Breakfast at 8am.

I do drink plenty of water and non-caffeinated teas. If I’m home we usually eat at 6:30, but at least 3 nights a week I’m out doing something until 7:30 or 8pm so have a late meal. Not ideal as we go to bed well before 10pm! I also tend to work over a conventional lunchtime so I usually just have a coffee early, with oat milk, and eat a substantial breakfast late morning. I’d go as far as early afternoon without food, but I can’t eat while I’m working and I want to avoid both hanger and ruining my dinner/needing to eat right before bed, if I have a meal at 4pm. It’s tricky!

maybe try to avoid the eating late? It's well known that going to bed with a full tummy contributes to weight gain. Can you re-think your meal timings? It's all very personal but I just can't eat late and I don't do social stuff in the evenings that mean I'd eat late. I'd have to eat before I went out.

I can’t. It’s exercise classes and in both cases I don’t have time to eat beforehand even if I wanted to, because of the way my work and travel fall. On one of the days I have to finish eating by 12 in order to travel to work, and on the other by 1pm, and in both cases I’m not then home again or able to have more than a snack until 7:30 or after. Also I can’t not do these classes, both preference and commitment! Hence I tend to have 2 meals a day as I described above. I’m going to try and eat a bit less in the evening, but I can’t do much more than that at the moment.

I also can't sleep if I'm hungry, but I've found that a banana just before I lie down to try to sleep is enough to convince my stomach that it's full. I have been known to eat a small square of cheese when I've run out of bananas.If you eat a bit less at your final meal and then have something literally just before bed it can work.

Op, the menopause was an absolute killer for my weight and body shape! I looked like a big fat round balloon.

What's working is heavy weight training 3 or 4 times a week. I usually do a full body work out. Consistency is the key for results.

I have cut out exercise classes as they didn't appear to be making much difference. They used to be great for me when I was in my 29s and 30s but while they are enjoyable they weren't having a great impact on my shape.

I have cut out a lot but not all cardio. I still walk a lot and as we have three dogs we are always out on the moors and hills, so my step count is good.

I wasn't a big drinker but I only have say, two pints of beer a month and have still water in a pub. It took some getting used to but it's a price worth paying to get my figure back.
Nutrition is the key in weight loss, of course, but weight training will help you get back on track.

Are you not naturally massively less hungry at 50+?

I see skinny DD(17) and laugh at just how much she eats, I used to be like that. But there is no way I could put this much away now.

I tend not really to eat in the evenings. Live in Spain so big healthy protein breakfast around 10am. Main meal (fish and veg with a carb then fruit, in Spain) around 3pm. Maybe an omelette pm if hungry, but usually not.

Since menopause I have gone right off red meat/bread/anythng processed.

Dietry needs totally change throughout life.

I don't do exercise classes or any evening classes for this very reason.
I used to go to a daytime class and gave it up as I found I could do the same at home in my living room and save £7!
During lockdown we 'upped' the garage to a gym (DH uses that) and I do my exercise in the house and with daily 1hr hill walk.
It seems counterproductive to go to a class to keep fit and then ruin it by eating late.

Just my opinion.

I agree with all of this. I often go to bed slightly hungry, not because I need the food but because my appetite would let me keep on going, even though calorie wise I’ve had enough for the day.

I know it’s been said a thousand times before, but do make sure that you’re having enough protein with every meal, not only is it satiating but so good for us during menopause.

I realise that I haven’t been consuming nearly enough. I’m mainly plant based with some fish thrown in a couple of times a week but would often have a chickpea based meal thinking I was getting enough protein but actually was falling way short of what’s needed.

@Workoutrage that surprises me, I thought plant proteins were a real thing? How do you know if you’re eating enough protein? Not that I think I don’t as we do eat a fair bit of meat and fish (OH’s preference)

I teach one of the classes 😁

and the other I do with my dc so it’s more than just a class. It’s also something I couldn’t do at home or alone for various reasons, but which is brilliant for my mental health and also a bloody hard workout, I wouldn’t do it without someone telling me to!

I work a late shift so I HAVE to eat late otherwise I couldn't eat at all after 2pm! And it hasn't seemed to have made any difference to me. Plus, the not being able to go to bed hungry means I just lie awake for hours if there's nothing in my stomach.

I agree @Vroomfondleswaistcoat

I know these are excuses but they are also reasons. Only thing I can 100% control (well, 80% control) is my portion size so as pp said I will do that as much as I can. And try not to eat half a loaf in desperate hunger when I’ve missed meals!!

They are a ‘real thing’ but just not enough protein on their own: I was listening to the Drs Kitchen podcast recently. They were discussing the relatively low protein content in chickpeas and advising that you should layer your plant source proteins, so add lentils to the chickpeas, nut butters, tofu, cheese.

It’s made a huge difference for me in how satisfied I now feel after a meal instead of scrambling around trying to find something healthy-ish to eat to take that hunger away.

You can train yourself. It’s not hunger. It’s appetite. If you’ve had dinner you won’t have hunger later in the evening.
and sadly if you want to stop getting better you need to stop eating big meals and chocolate.
if you want to lose weight you need to be pretty draconian.
I was creeping up 2-3kg every winter for several years. I got sick of it and went absolutely Spartan. Ate nothing that wasn’t nutritionally dense. No fluff. No simple carbs at all as they didn’t have enough nutrients for the calories.
I cut my meals in half and I didn’t eat dinner which basically meant I was intermittent fasting.
I lost the 10-12kg I’d gained and I maintain it by eating very very little.
Most if the time i’m fine but occasionally I’ll fall off the wagon and it will go straight back on

I work out a lot. Lift heavy weights abs walk. I have more muscle mass than I’ve ever had, am the strongest I’ve ever been and no longer need daily naps which is proof I don’t need any more than I’m eating.
You don’t have more energy, build strength and muscle if you are starving yourself. I find I sleep better with less in my stomach at night.
I eat very little now

Firstly, good on you for being so active and exercising a lot! In answer to
’’Am I right to blame menopause? And is there something I can do about it? ‘’ I’d say yes and yes.
I put on a tonne of fat around my middle, I thought it was solely due to being more desk-bound at work, but then realised after (damage done) it was also peri.
It seems we just have to get used to eating considerably less than before. I’ve had to reduce portion sizes and especially reduce carbs and treats. One small treat a day and carbs now one round of toast instead of two, a couple of small potatoes instead of lots at meal times etc. It’s better reducing the carbs so you still get enough protein and fat and so your appetite doesn’t go crazy with cravings.

I’m slowly losing weight by dieting some weeks and trying to just eat the new healthy normal most weeks. (I have ED history too, so I still feel great pride some weeks for just managing ‘normal and healthy’ as this alluded me for many years!)
Good luck with it all!