I am 51 (52 in March). Since the age of around 45 my mind, body and soul have been failing me. I was told by my GP at 45 I was not in peri because I was still having a cycle and experiencing no sweats.
Well, I am still having a cycle and have minimal sweats but boy, everything else is going to pot.
I have suffered with poor mental health since childhood and have expereinced gynae issues and gut issues since my early 20's but it is as though a bomb has exploded in my body.
I suffer from daily anxiety, panic and a feeling of utter terror. It's as though a dial has been turned to the max on my mental health, I can't quite articulate just how bad I feel mentally. I wake up in a panic every day and long for each day to pass quickly so I can crawl back into bed. Nothing, absolutely nothing gives me any pleasure throughout my day to day life. I cry at the drop of a hat and can have angry outbursts too. I feel worn out and depressed.
My 26 year 'battle' with IBS and digestive issues (from mouth to tail) have only worsened over these last 6 years. I have had cameras up, cameras down and scans etc but nothing found so I am just left to my own devices with this issue. I try everything to get my gut health back on track, I eat a basic, low fodmap diet, I only drink water, no dairy, no gluten/wheat, minimal sugar etc. I exercise (walking the dog for at least an hour each day and do some yoga stretches every evening). I listen to hypnotherapy and practise meditation yet still my gut issues continue with daily acid, burping, nausea, bloating, gas, excessive stomach gurgling, constipation/diarrhoea (often together!?) and I have a strong gasto colic reflex so often need the loo soon after eating which is most depressing. I despise my digestive system of late.
After being seen by the same gynae department for the last 12 years and enduring endless hysteroscopies and polyp removals (5 times) and a failed uterine ablation it was discovered via a mri last December that I actually have deep endometriosis and adenomyosis. I am now left on a waiting list until next year to have a laparoscopy. The gynae has been of little help and tbh I am certain he is just hoping that I will soon go into menopause and he won't have to bother with me.
I have had enough. All of my life stresses have come at the worst time. I have elderly parents living near by, my mother suffers from Alzheimers and breast cancer and I help my dad care for her. I have a 19 and 16 year old at home, a very anxious and reactive rescue dog who needs constant training/attention and a poor dh who is often the brunt of my anguish/outbursts. And to top it all I lost my job last week and the thought of job hunting and interviews when my confidence is at an all time low is keeping my awake at night.
My GP has been of little help and because of my history with the endometriosis and failed uterine ablation (any bleeding now causes me excessive pain) and my mum's beast cancer diagnosis, she is loathe to offer me hrt as she says it is out of her level of expertise and tbh I am too scared to take it since my mum's diagnosis and discovering some of her first cousins also have bc (one died in her 60's). The gp has advised I go see an alternative therapist in our local town. I simply can not afford this.
Sorry, such a long and boring post but could anyone suggest anything I could try which will harmonise everything, help slot everything back into place of some sorts. I can't go on with so many of my body parts and mind failing me, I feel as though I am heading for a breakdown.