Anyone else started to not enjoy holidays?

[Movinghouseatlast]

I'm on HRT and all my symptoms are under control apart from lack of motivation.

I've stopped getting any joy from holidays though. We got back a week ago and to be honest it was a total waste of money. It didn't help that the weather wasn't great, but I felt so stressed while I was there about leaving our cats, about leaving our business with someone else looking after. It it just doesn't seem worth it.

Last year I didn't enjoy it either, again the stress.and we had a very noisy family in the apartment next door which ruined it.

I used to adore holidays and my partner still does. Its something we have always prioritised over other things. He has already booked for next June at the same villa we just got back from. It's SO expensive and should be an amazing treat but I wish we weren't going. It's not fair on him though if we don't go.

I don't know what to do

I think thats age, not menopause

You'd probably enjoy a different kind of holiday

Yes I feel the same. I’m so intolerant of others these days. Noisy people, smokers, Americans (noisy ones with that nasal twang)- I just tense up. Doesn’t help that I’ve stopped drinking so I can’t even have a glass of wine to numb it! Urghhhh

Holidays are an escape for me (including weekends). I enjoy reading my favorite books with my tea or listening to instrumental bossanova songs while sitting on our front porch while the sun sets (our home in the countryside). Maybe you need another kind of holiday. Have you talked to your husband about this?

I agree with @ssd, I don't think everything can be blamed on menopause. As we get older our priorities change and so do the things we enjoy, it's not necessarily related to hormones
I hate holidays and would far sooner have a week at home when everybody else thought I'd gone away so left me alone for some peace and quiet

Not fussed about them. I'd rather spend the money throughout the year, though do go away once a year.

No, it's definitely anxiety related and as someone said intolerance.

I get plenty of time to relax at home. Some might say too much as I have no motivation to do anything anymore. I work from home and only part time. I also live in a holiday destination and my job is providing holidays for other people!

I went on a different type of holiday last year and felt exactly the same. Everything annoys me.

Go. It won’t do you any harm, it’s not for long and he’ll enjoy it

Can you ‘do’ things when you go away instead? Theatre trips, experiences?

I have no desire to go anywhere abroad since menopause. Did loads of travelling in my 20s so don't feel I'm missing out at all.

I do love the Yorkshire and Northumberland Coast though.

I find the lack of motivation feeds into the lack of generating any anticipatory excitement about things too which then affects the experience.

I often think the inertia of lockdown has affected many WRT travelling. I was like you OP for about two years, just couldn't be arsed doing anything that involved queues, airports, suitcases, passports, noise, people, ah you name it, it annoyed me intensely!

But I am retired and should have been game for anything, same as I was pre Covid. So I pulled on my big knickers and now go away well off season, often in Winter to places that are NOT known to be all sun and sangria. I have found my niche. I often travel on my own too which is bliss as Hell is other people lol.

I also go away to Southern Spain (Estepona) for three weeks or a month over the Christmas lead up and after. That makes me smile for the WHOLE YEAR! I have done my share of Christmas duties at home by now and where we go it is all very low key, unless you want to be a Christmas hat wearer, balloon blowing person. I'm a bit of a grinch, and DP is the same so it works.

You will find a way to unwind and enjoy things again. You have to find something that you like, not always what your travel companion likes.

Is your H aware that you’re not enjoying hols like before?

It seems like you are noticing a shift in yourself and your perceptions of the world - or is that too deep?
You are anxious about leaving your cats and your business to take a break, but it seems you might be anxious about more than that, and these worries are how it's showing up.
This can be a midlife thing. Dunno, it could be hormonal too I suppose.

Gosh if my husband decided all this I would be so upset! Holidays are really important to me. If your DH still loves them then can you find a compromise and find a holiday you would enjoy? If you’re stressed about your cats or whatever then what would alleviate the stress? If everything annoys you and you’re finding no joy in things, sounds like you need a trip to the GP,

Absolutely. Just got back from a log cabin break today and wish we hadn't bothered.

I’m noticing since becoming menopausal that I have to take a whole extra bag for the non-negotiables that just a few years ago wouldn’t have been on my radar. Like…

Vitamin D
HRT meds
Hand cream
Bluetooth sleep mask
Anti-anxiety meds
Well Woman 50+ multivitamins
Peppermint capsules
Airpods

And so on and so forth. I used to take a few pairs of knickers and a toothbrush 🙄

I get this. I used to anticipate and love holidays. After covid I just couldn't be arsed. Which was menopause too.

I also have a nicer house and a dog I like to spend time with,I also live on an island so everything is 2 flights away or a sicky ferry.

But once I get there and see new things, and new food, and have time off work...I'm fine and enjoy it. But steeling myself up for it takes more oomph.

Maybe you just don't need holidays anymore? My worry is if I stop my world will shrink...

Getting older has made me see a lot of the things that we humans do in a different light.

Lots of things - new cars, holidays, fashion, eating etc - seem designed to make us spend money in order to keep us on the treadmill of work and earning money.

The experience of travel, shopping and eating out isn't what it was. Everything is so expensive, service is rubbish, at airports you are herded. Put this against a backdrop of how bad mass air travel is for the environment and overcrowding by tourists in holiday hot spots and it's no wonder we want to stay home, where everything is familiar, comfortable and within our control.

Meanwhile many of us are seeking a bit of peace, a slower way of life, mindfulness and a wholesome, more simple way of living.

You can drop £3 grand in a fortnight, or enhance your life all year round.

Me too. Except you forgot the solpadeine for the headache after one glass of wine, gaviscon tablets, antihistamines, imodium, plasters for the walking boots rubbing, tena lady, probably more ive forgotten...

Same!

Our evening holiday routine was always been to get dressed up and go out for dinner every evening to a different restaurant. My husband would ideally like to go to a bar before for a drink and a different bar afterwards for another drink.

My ideal holiday evening now would be to go out early with no make up on and eat one course. Get an ice cream to eat on the walk home for an early night with my book.

I just can't be bothered with all the sitting about sipping a drink now that I don't actually drink alcohol any more.

And not forgetting...

Insect repellent
Sudocrem
Cortisone cream.
Preparation H (always get bunged up on holiday, which, ahem, escalates).
Six different chargers.

And then there’s the glasses:
Varifocals, transition lens varifocals, prescription sunglasses for reading, normal reading glasses, spare reading glasses and non-prescription sunglasses (not joking).

My own teabags - can't be doing with those Lipton/ tampon on a string teabags.

Oh god yes. And peppermint teabags for bedtime.

It sounds like this is related to your low mood in general rather than menopause.

Were you ok with leaving your cats and business on previous holidays so this stress about leaving them a new thing?