Perimenopause at 38?!

[Evie3821]

Hi all

Just looking for some advice really, for the last year or so I've felt like something has changed in me.. I just feel flat. My confidence is zero, I have no interest in arranging anything socially. I am fine when with my kids, taking them out places at weekends etc but just no interest in arranging anything for just me. I feel I've nothing interesting to say or contribute.. I don't think I'm actually depressed but I do suffer from social anxiety and low self confidence.
Could this be perimenopause or just a midlife crisis?! I wondered if my pill could be the cause so came off it 5 months ago but I feel no different and last 2 months I actually feel worse as pms is back.
Not sure what I'm asking but be good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way in late 30s. I also wondered about peri menopause as my hair has also thinned to the point I can no longer wear it down.

Thanks

I'm 39 and this really resonates.

Flat. Can't be arsed with socialising. Nothing to say or contribute.

Not depressed, not anxious either. Just...meh.

Also wondered if it's peri menopause. Not sure there's a way to find out?

My peri definitely started at 38

You could well be in the start of perimenopause as this can be upto 10 years before menopause. I started early 40s with symptoms.

Could be. I'm wondering about your thyroid or vitamin b12 though? Could anaemia be in the mix?

I feel exactly like you describe and peri- but a teeny bit older. I'm taking antidepressant medication now and for me it helped the malaise/apathy and I'm trying to find counselling because I have a separate where-is-my-life-going feeling because although I'm happy with my career and little ones, I just feel all millennial scrap heapy.

Maybe get a full set of bloods done via the GP? But yeah peri is a reasonable culprit too. Boo.

Could be the start of it for sure. I started at 39, periods became a little irregular and I occasionally flooded suddenly, thankfully my mood wasn't greatly effected as I was only two years married and didn't need that but my body certainly was effected, it took years and me finally bypassing my gp to get it taken seriously and have hrt prescribed, it was life changing and I'll never forgive my gp for not prescribing it years beforehand. My sil is 10 years younger than my (I'm 53 now) and I have her warned to seek help at the first sign of needing it. Go to your gp, do not suffer in silence like so many did in the past, you and every other woman deserves better than that.

It's strange to suddenly feel this way, not sure if there's a way to find out if its peri or not. I definately feel something is going on.

I had a blood test done on Fri to check all those things and not heard anything back so I'm assuming all is OK. I will give them a phone to double check tho.

Thanks, is there a way to test if your in peri? I would take hrt if it meant feeling back to normal and having some joy back in life.

I'm 36 and feel like something is going on as well. Out of nowhere I'm having anxiety attacks, I have awful brain fog, I keep feeling dizzy and faint and a few days a month I get the horrific night sweats. I've had a load of blood tests that haven't show anything else going on

Sorry to hear you are going through this too. I have the anxiety attacks and brain fog aswell, it's horrible. Hope you get some answers.

I'm sorry you are too! It's awful not feeling like yourself

It could be peri. But it could be thyroid issues, low iron, low B12 etc. Go and see the doctor and get some blood tests done. The good news is if it is any of the above it's all totally treatable and you will get your mojo back.

Sorry - see you already had blood tests done. Hopefully results will be back soon and you'll get answers

My peri started 5 years ago (at 38) dizzy, fatigue, brain fog, aches, anxiety through the roof, migraine. Times of feeling flat. Nervous to go out. IBS type symptoms. Unable to string a sentence together, forgetting nouns. Trouble concentrating. Eventually the inability to stand unaided thanks to the anxiety and dizziness. No change in bleeds, so I assume I am chronically ill. Many Drs appointments, consultants, swabs, samples, bloods, sight and hearing checked. Everything always comes back perfect. On waiting list for a couple of other checks, also for private CBT. No alcohol or caffeine for 5 years, early nights, low carbs, low sugar, breath work, 16/8 fasting, self care etc… all made very little difference. Have been terrified of exercising due to heart palpitations and breathlessness. Had EMDR, endless homeopathy, reflexology, massages, somatic therapy. I added supplements in, magnesium, vit D, q10, B complex, folic acid, probiotics, all of which improved some things for a little while, then symptoms all creep back again. Mainly fuelled by the anxiety I think. Am 4 weeks into HRT, (estrogen gel to start and am on day 5 of Utrogestan) can already feel a huge difference. Less anxious overall. Have done two workouts this week and actually feel quite alive today! Cognitive and alert. I was terrified of side effects (thank you anxiety) but have actually been okay. A bit irritable on the first two days of prog. Not felt any today. I have read so much about peri menopause lately, I can’t believe I didn’t ask for HRT sooner. So get all the checks done, ask all the questions, do all the things you are supposed to do. If nothing changes and it looks like peri-menopause, sounds like peri-menopause and feels like peri-menopause then it probably is. I’ve wasted 4 years living less than half a life. Best of luck! X

@Evie3821 as far as i’m
aware there isn’t a test for peri or menopause unfortunately. It seems that hormone levels flux so much they’d have to test your blood every day (or more) for several weeks to get any useful readings. Sounds like it’s one of those things where they rule everything else out. I’m trialling HRT as well as having the other checks I mentioned above… awaiting another ENT appointment to see if I need scan. The improvement I’ve felt this week has been amazing. I’m starting to remember who I was. I’m hopeful that it’s peri for me and not a chronic illness.

@SallyTee thank you so much for sharing! I can relate to so much of your post. Reading it has helped me make the decision to pursue HRT

Thanks for sharing, glad you are feeling more positive now you have started hrt.
I have pretty much all the symptoms you have mentioned, but as a long time sufferer of anxiety its not new to me but the flat feeling and lack of interest in doing anything/ low confidence is. I just feel different, I wish there was a test for peri! I can't say for definate that it is that, I just wish I knew.

Yes. My peri menopause symptoms fully kicked in when I had just turned 43. But, there had been several warning shots long before then. My cousin was fully menopausal at 28 and my Aunt was fully menopausal at 35.

Supposing mine, OPs and others symptoms are peri - what can we do? Anything?

Can we go on HRT this early? Should we, or are there downsides?

Snap. About 5 years ago and aged 39 I started to feel very unlike myself. Motivation started to wane for all the things I used to make the effort for. Like you, I'll do it for the kids but no interest for myself. Even in hobbies I've had for 30 years and always been really driven and excited by. Just meh.

I know my thyroid and B12 levels are all fine. In fact all bloods fine as I also have IBS and had an eye issue which I had full bloods done for. No irregularities. Have tried antidepressants in last couple of years (never tried needed to try them pre-2019) which I didn't get on with but I am 99% sure this is a hormonal and situational problem.

I don't care for seeing anyone. Rather be alone. All day, all evening sometimes if DH and DC are out all day. If it wasn't for DC I don't think I'd leave the house. At all. I am ft carer for one of our DC who can't talk which adds to the feeling of increasing irrelevance, I only exist to keep them alive. I feel utterly irrelevant as an individual. As a human being.

I have pushed friends away and no family nearby. I am a shell. I get up in the morning reluctantly (I used to spring out of bed and go for a run) do what I need to do, look after DC, get through the day and then go to bed. Rinse, repeat. I just can't be bothered with anything because I honestly don't see the point in anything or making the effort because it's makes no difference! Every day will only ever be the same. I know it sounds like depression but often ADs make you numb. That is what I already am. Numb, grey, blank.

I NEVER felt this way pre 38/39 years old!

To add... Been blood tested too for menopause which I know isn't accurate and nope, all good there too apparently! So no need for HRT for me! 🙄

Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time too. It's really disheartening to feel this way isn't it. I honestly couldn't care if I never met up with anyone again.. other than hubby and kids im happy to be alone. I've wondered about depression too, i feel it's maybe midife crisis for me. Nothing new to look forward to, no longer youthful looking etc. Just can no longer be bothered to make an effort with anything.

I wonder if we be given Hrt if we aren't even sure if it is peri? Like at what point is it offered I wonder.

You'd need your hormone levels testing (could ask GP blood test) - progesterone/oestrogen

There's different ways to get HRT, patch etc

There are contraindications I think depends on your own past medical history

I'm a nurse (not in general practice) but I wish I could start my own drop in well woman meno/peri clinic at primary care level in the practice where I'm a patient. My peri experience has been crap. There's no one-stop-shop where we can get check ups, a listening and knowledgable healthcare professional to prescribe where needed, and feeling on your own with so many changes is alienating imho and just unnecessary in this day and age. I've got no female family to ask so Mumsnet is basically my village for menopause support/info.

Apologies for the derail, I'll get off me soap box now x

But everywhere I read that blood tests aren't usually done because hormones fluctuate too much so it's not conclusive?

It feels like there's no way to determine whether it's peri or not so nothing to be done....