Perimenopause at 38?!

[Evie3821]

Hi all

Just looking for some advice really, for the last year or so I've felt like something has changed in me.. I just feel flat. My confidence is zero, I have no interest in arranging anything socially. I am fine when with my kids, taking them out places at weekends etc but just no interest in arranging anything for just me. I feel I've nothing interesting to say or contribute.. I don't think I'm actually depressed but I do suffer from social anxiety and low self confidence.
Could this be perimenopause or just a midlife crisis?! I wondered if my pill could be the cause so came off it 5 months ago but I feel no different and last 2 months I actually feel worse as pms is back.
Not sure what I'm asking but be good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way in late 30s. I also wondered about peri menopause as my hair has also thinned to the point I can no longer wear it down.

Thanks

@applepie23 the hormone levels might not show anything (and depending on your GP they might not be interested in your levels anyway) it was just an idea for a starting point. I kept a symptom diary and I tracked my cycle and went to the GP with that because I felt crappy in a new and interesting way, like depression but different.

Same. I read something about people at age 40ish 'turning inwards' being less bothered about other people.

I just feel like all my social plans are chores to get out the way so I can get back to my preferred state of being at home, alone (or with my DP and kids)

Yes I feel this way exactly.. My preferred place to be is home. Maybe it's more common after all.

I'm not a medical professional, but I am more knowledgeable about menopause and hormones than most. I had no choice, I had to educate myself because every doctor I spoke to was useless. I finally found my way to the rooms of Prof John Studd who was a recognised world expert on menopause and what he termed 'Reproductive Depression.' I learned so much from my appointments with him, too.

The numb, grey feeling you describe is very typical of hormonal depression. It's usually caused by a lowering of oestrogen (your happy, feel good hormone) and an increase in progesterone (the hormone which can help insomnia and calm you, but too much can cause the detached, grey depression).

The fancy name for this is Anhedonia "the inability to experience pleasure or joy." Sound familiar?

Very often, just taking conventional ADs can't help with hormonal depression because there needs to be sufficient oestrogen and serotonin already present for the ADs to interact with. That's why HRT can really help (if not cure) because it's replacing the oestrogen that your body is now lacking. Oestrogen is very closely linked with Serotonin (another happy hormone) production. The trick is getting enough oestrogen into your system so that the side effects effects of progesterone are sufficiently negated.

Prof Studd told me that in severe cases of hormonal depression women often need both HRT and anti depressants.

Just to repeat, I am not in anyway a medical professional, but I hope that some of what I know might be of help.

@Evie3821 Do you work?

Unless I've missed it, your posts describe being at home all day and doing chores.

It comes over as lacking purpose.

Have you worked and did you enjoy it? If you're not working, why not?

I think it's important to pick up peri early, but it's also important not to blame hormones for everything.

The average age of menopause is 51. Most women find a change in their periods in their late 40s, and although the 10 year thing is quoted, I've not known anyone in RL start 10 years before a final period.

If you're naturally an introvert, not wanting to be with people is fair enough and common. But the question is, what makes you happy?

Sorry OP I was mixing up your posts with @Greeniguana

Have you asked your GP for HRT?

@Greeniguana So sorry- was skim reading and missed a lot of what you'd said. You have a lot to deal with.

although the 10 year thing is quoted, I've not known anyone in RL start 10 years before a final period.

Yeah but that's probably because people having symptoms early wouldn't think to associate it with menopause (and even less likely to discuss it with other people)

I'm not sure 'find what makes your happy' is particularly helpful advice tbh. The whole point is the inability to feel joy from things we previously enjoyed.

@Bookist this is really interesting info thank you.

It's interesting that you should say progesterone is responsible for the numb feeling as for me it started it pregnancy when I know progesterone is higher. It's almost like my levels never went back to normal.

I’ve felt like this since around the age of 35. Started with flat feeling, bad anxiety attacks, over heating all the time, itchy skin, thinning hair, dizziness. I’m 8 years on and still have thin hair, dizziness, meh feeling. All blood tests were fine (apart from vitamin D and B12 were low for a while), still have periods. No answer for you, just solidarity.

It's sucks doesn't it, sorry to hear you are going through the same thing.

Found my people, I'm also 38, feeling very lightheaded and thinking it was iron, but identify so much with that flat feeling

I started with peri menopausal symptoms in my late 30s although it took a while before I realised that’s what it was. My periods are very regular and I’ve never had my hormone levels checked (other than testosterone but that’s because I was on testosterone gel) but I’m on HRT. It’s perfectly possible to be peri menopausal with regular periods and ‘normal’ hormone levels but sadly a lot of GPs seem to be woefully ignorant. I was very fortunate with mine. She did check iron, thyroid, B12 etc to make sure nothing else was going on.

I'm 38 and started HRT 2 months ago after a year of feeling flat, grey, sad, v low libido, anxious, brain foggy and lots of migraines and generally not quite myself. I was initially told I had long covid, which was simply never the case. I spoke to a new GP and she suggested HRT.

I feel a million times better now. I'm much more energetic, focused and engaged.

I told my mum I had started and she freaked out, having been too afraid of the cancer risks when it was her time, but I've spoken to my Gp, read around the subject in a couple of books the GP suggested, and I can feel in my body that I'm much much better again now.

38 isn't too young, from my understanding peri and menopause are still so misunderstood by a huge number of medical professionals because it's not a lucrative area of the medical arena.

You're welcome. In a nutshell I would say you are probably severely progesterone intolerant (like me). I also felt very detached and meh during pregnancy and went on to have nasty PND. I would recommend reading Prof Studd's website it's very enlightening. I recognised myself in so much of what he writes and you might too. He says that many of his patients report that they 'have never felt right' since the birth of their last child.

Sadly he has now passed away. But his clinic is still being run by doctors who trained under him.

Sorry to hear you are feeling the same, its definately more common than I realised.

Thank you, I'll take a look

What were the books if you don't mind me asking @PuffinMcStuffin

One was the Menopause Manifesto, its on Amazon, but I can't remember the name of the other one, I lent it to a friend and never got it back, sorry!

I've just been prescribed HRT. I'm nervous. It's what I've wanted for a while but now it's happening I'm suddenly terrified

Absolutely no need to be terrified. You're just replacing hormones that have been lost.

If you were thirsty you would have a drink wouldn't you?

What form does it come in @tigertummy ? Let us know how you get on, I hope it makes you feel better.

The average age for progesterone starting to drop is 35 so not at all uncommon for women to begin feeling 'different' before the more obvious or known symptom of periods become more frequent /less frequent/heavier/lighter, all depends how your own body reacts to lower progesterone and unbalanced oestrogen.
Bloods don't really help though can be used to rule out any other issues like thyroid or vit B deficiency, if symptoms can't be linked to anything else, HRT is appropriate. Your oestrogen and FSH can swing wildly during peri which is why is not a reliable diagnosis to rule out peri as the cause of symptoms though they can help rule it in if its a month where your bloods just happen to fit the criteria. FSH is usually under 10 on Day 3 in a ore menopausal woman and I had everything from I think 70 to 7 over the space of 12 months so depending what month you looked at my blood profile I was pre, peri or post menopausal - in reality I went from being post natal to peri menopausal and periods ceased about 4 yrs later

In younger women the combined contraceptive pill can be more beneficial than HRT.

Under 40 it’s called premature ovarian insufficiency rather than the menopause and may need specialist input.

Thanks @Bookist you're right.

@applepie23 I've been given the patches. Need to get my head around when to change them etc