I just don't feel like me and feel lost ...

[Meltinthemiddle]

I'm tired all the time, experiencing Brian fog, memory loss, headaches, weight gain, black heads and spots along jaw line, hairs on chin and neck. I'm emotional all the time and l have crippling anxiety which really is affecting my daily life. I've quit my job of 9 years and now I'm on my third job but still not happy. I feel like I don't have a purpose. I took a job with less responsibility and less hours but didn't feel happy or satisfied. Now I'm working more hours with more responsibility I feel stressed. I just can't settle. It's like I want something but then I don't want it. I'm 41 and my kids are teenagers so not sure if it's a mid life crisis or if I'm menopausal 😭. Did anyone else feel like this? Im not suicidal but some days I just feel like I'm done, like what's the point or my purpose. I don't even enjoy things that's I used to enjoy anymore either. I have the coil so don't have periods as such so no really changes there but I just don't feel like me.

I am feeling exactly the same, I’m 44. Gave up a job and stepped back into a lesser role due to crippling anxiety and low self esteem. Feel like I’m just not doing a good job in work and home. Like you I don’t feel suicidal but just constantly have a low mood and miss my old self.

I felt the same. Most of us do. I promise you it will pass.

Best advice: Get fit. Do weight training and yoga. Take meno-linked supplements.

I had some CBT for anxiety which I found very useful.

Do small things that you enjoy until you reach a stage in life where you feel ready to discover what you want with the next stage of your life.

I feel the same and am the same age as you. I don't know whether it's peri menopause or the pandemic that's done it for me. Not sure whether I need hrt or antidepressants!

Yes feel similar/same.

If I have a few drinks it’ll often put me back.

I've just had exactly the same conversation with my dh, awful isn't it. I've been to my go for HRT (I have other more physical symptoms too), but he can't put me on HRT until my blood pressure is lower

I've experienced a lot of what you are describing op including brain fog, weight gain (which doesn't want to shift in a hurry) and irritability.

However, I feel I'm on a much better path now (only recently after a lot of soul searching) and doing something that I actually want to do (my own small business relating to something I'm interersted in) but I realise I am fortunate to be in a financial position to give it a try.

I am a similar age to you but have young dc - youngest is 4 (not yet at school but nursery a few days a week) plus one other primary school aged child. This is the hardest thing for me - parenting young dc as I can feel easily irritated and I have to try really hard to remain calm and let a lot of things go. My house is a constant mess and I carry most of the emotional load which is very wearing. Fortunately because I enjoy my work/hobbies (the latter when I have time) I feel more balanced. I am also on a mission to get fitter and lose weight and I have started to do gentle exercise. I have learnt to say 'no' a lot more too as time is limited/precious.

Can't take HRT but try a lot of supplements as I'm most definitely peri-menopausal.

What supplements would anyone recommend? There are just so many out there, are any better than others?

Thanks for the replies. Interested in what supplements and wondering if I should see my GP. I hate this feeling of what's the point. I actually feel like Im done with my life like what else is there to work for or look forward to. I was hoping to start a career but my brain just feels so overwhelmed with everything I just don't have the heads pace to learn or retain anything.

The supplements I take are:

Vitamin D spray - this is brilliant for tiredness
Herbal iron capsules (Feroglobin or Floradix - not iron tablets as they have bad side effects) - also great at relieving tiredness
B complex for mood swings - it helps lift depression
Magnesium - not sure why but everyone says menopausal women need it, including nutritionist friends so I take it
l_Tyrosine for motivation. I suffer a lot from 'can't be bothered' moods and tyrosine helps your dopamine kick in so you have the impetus to get on with stuff.

I also have some menopause multivitamins but I often forget to take them.

Nice side effect of L-Tyrosine is it makes your hair and nails stronger, so if they are brittle, they improve.

@gingerhills does that mean you take 4 tablets a day? Does it have to be with food?

I am constantly in bits - like I have PMT but the week after my period when I'm usually on fire. Its also the way I feel whenever I've taken the pill. On the edge of tears all the time.

Do any/all of those things help with the emotional side of things?

[quote actiongirl1978]@gingerhills does that mean you take 4 tablets a day? Does it have to be with food?

I am constantly in bits - like I have PMT but the week after my period when I'm usually on fire. Its also the way I feel whenever I've taken the pill. On the edge of tears all the time.

Do any/all of those things help with the emotional side of things?[/quote]
I take one tablet two capsules and a spray of Vit D. Vitamin D tablets are worthless as the body doesn't process the vitamins properly. They need to be assimilated quickly through the skin under the tongue or in your cheek.

Some days I just feel I don't need them, so skip them. But as soon as i feel run down or tired, they make a very quick difference.

B vits help with depression, especially Vit B6 (and maybe 12 too).
So they help with the emotional side.

And for me L-Tyrosine is important because I have very low dopamine, so often don;t get around to doing things and then feel low and berate myself for wasting time. L-Tyrosine makes the dopamine kick in, then I'm more productive so it goes from a vicious to a virtuous cycle which improves mood.

Thanks you so much for this thread. I’ve copied all of those vitamins and will get them tomorrow. I CANNOT shift the weight; has anyone successfully done it? I dont think the pandemic has helped one bit

Vitamin D tablets are worthless as the body doesn't process the vitamins properly. They need to be assimilated quickly through the skin under the tongue or in your cheek.

This is absolutely not true!!!!

Try Ashwaghanda, Magnolia Rhodiola, Maca

I feel exactly the same as you and I am 47. I feel so much better when I'm on a regular exercise regime.

I take a good multivitamin supplement and I totally agree with this:

Best advice: Get fit. Do weight training and yoga. Take meno-linked supplements

@BlueSpeckledEgg

Vitamin D tablets are worthless as the body doesn't process the vitamins properly. They need to be assimilated quickly through the skin under the tongue or in your cheek.

This is absolutely not true!!!!

*Researchers at Cardiff University, when testing BetterYou’s DLux vitamin D oral sprays, found that absorption within the mouth was far superior to the more traditional digestive route of tablets and capsules benefiting from very absorbent tissue and the close proximity of a rich vein system. Dr Charles Heard, who lead the Cardiff University absorption trial, explains: “The ultra-fast uptake is due to the very absorbent tissue within the mouth and the close proximity of a rich vein network. In some cases, it is close to that of IV or intramuscular injections.”

HRT. It's a lifesaver. I started taking it at 41 and I'm still on it 8 years later. It literally saved me.

@gingerhills

B vits help with depression, especially Vit B6 (and maybe 12 too). So they help with the emotional side.

And for me L-Tyrosine is important because I have very low dopamine, so often don;t get around to doing things and then feel low and berate myself for wasting time. L-Tyrosine makes the dopamine kick in, then I'm more productive so it goes from a vicious to a virtuous cycle which improves mood.

Where do you get the supplements from please and which specific ones? I take vit D tablets but they interfere with thyroxine uptake so have to take them at night and thyroxine during the day.

I'm 38 and perimenopausal. People keep saying I'm too young, which makes me want to punch them in the face. Periods are much shorter, sleep disrupted, weight gain, awful headaches, brain fog, PMS from hell, oh and the uncontrollable rage. I've always had bad PMS, but this is something else.
I've been really struggling emotionally. It feels fast cycling, one minute I'm weeping and anxious and everything is awful, then I'm euphoric. It's bonkers.
I've massively cut down on alcohol and have started running again. Cold water swimming helps too.
@gingerhills thank you for the list of supplements. I'm going to get them all.

I've made a phone appointment with my GP to speak about this. All these symptoms, 41 years old. The rage is out of this world. Palpitations, constant pressurised feeling in my head, thick impenetrable brain fog, it's unbearable and I hope to God the GP can prescribe HRT.

I've been taking Health & Her Perimenopause Mind Plus supplements for just over a month. I'm 42 and had been experiencing awful mood swings, lethargy, overwhelm. They've made a massive difference! Feel like me again. Checked the ingredient list and they have similar to what PP recommended above.
I got mine from Amazon but Holland and Barret and Superdrug sell them too.
Was also very impressed with the Health and Her website, and the webchat (wanted to know if I could take them alongside a multivitamin - I can).
Hope you feel more like yourself soon.

VitD is fat soluble, you just need to take it with food. I say this as someone on a drug that destroys it who has regular blood tests to check levels.

It is disingenuous to seize on and quote a source without balance. There are many other studies that inform on how it should be taken for best absorption.

I’d reckon getting your bloods tested is a good move OP.

I feel very similar. Similar age. Struggling with small amount of work I do wishing Id changed careers younger and feeling generally anxius. I didnt realise crippling amxiety could be this (im prone to bad mental health anyway.) Im already v overweight. Can it be peri early 40s then? Does it get taken seriously?

Im posting at 4am having been up since 2am and struggling so much withbinsomnia. I econsulted dr abojt sleep and got told they're away for several weeks and was wondering about gojng into a pharmacy. I normally avoid antidepressents etc as make me zombie like but I am desperate to sleep.