Peri menopause confirmed at 40. I'm absolutely lost.

[CassieJumped]

For the past 18 months I've had lots of weird health issues the main one being a period which lasts a day. At 39 I had my bloods done. Can't remember much about it but something was slightly off but I was fobbed off with a 'come back in 6 months'
The way I was dismissed made me reluctant to go back.
For the past 6 months I've been surviving on minimal sleep. I have sweats and flushes and lots of other niggly symptoms and I started to feel like I was going crazy.
The other week when I said that to Dh he said 'we're getting older babe, that's just part of it' I told him he was dismissing me just like the doctor had and I emailed to get my bloods done.
Spoke to the female doctor at the surgery who sorted the blood form out and she was great.
Then had a really low week and wondered if it was possibly depression as well or instead of.

I've just had a call from the doctor and had the diagnosis of peri menopause confirmed.
She said something about levels and mine was 30. I should have written it down. I broke down on the phone and she was great and really sensitive. I felt validated that I wasn't going mad but now for some reason I feel heartbroken. I've got three lovely children (2 teenage daughters who I want to help see menopause the way taught them to see puberty and periods when I get my head round it) Dh had the snip a few years ago so there were no plans for more. I'm still sad. I've had a huge snotty sob on my own in my room as Dh is away and not back until tonight. And I'm still crying whilst typing this out but that kind of eye leak crying.

The doctor has said because of my age she's going to arrange a scan to see why my ovaries are failing (ouch 😢) and do my blood pressure etc.

She's sending a prescription to the chemist for ten sleeping tablets and hrt patches for I think three months.

If anyone has any good informative links I would really appreciate it.
I wanted to know what was wrong but I feel stupid that now I know I'm incredibly upset.

Thank you for reading. I know it was ridiculously long but I know how well informed you will be.

I can't offer any advice at all except to say that now you know what is happening you can start to deal with it.
Just knowing there is a reason for the way you feel and what you are experiencing is a good thing.
Good luck x

I think it's natural to feel emotional - it's a big life change which you weren't expecting yet I guess. I recently found out that my hormone levels are as low as postmenopausal women, and my doctor thinks it's because of medication.

It does explain a lot of things but I still feel scared about it. Sending hugs OP

Bless you, it's rough isn't it? I was diagnosed with peri on the day before my 40th birthday. We had one dc, and had been trying for another for several years. So they were investigating my infertility when they found out. It took a while to come to terms with it, I must admit.

Maybe ask your GP to see if they can arrange a Dexa scan for you. That checks your baseline bone density as it is now, then you have another one every 10 years to check for any signs of osteoporosis.

All the best.

Have you watched Davinas documentary I think on All4 or something, Me o pause and Me, wry interesting - sending hugs

Thank you for the replies. I'll look into what has been mentioned. It does feel like a relief that it's something and not nothing and I know them that means I can hopefully start to feel better.
I sent Dh a brief text telling him it has been confirmed and he replied 'ah my favourite of the Nando's sauces' I know he's trying to make me laugh but his timing is bad. By the time he gets home tonight and gives me a hug I'll feel better. He is amazing lik that but I'm not at the laughing at it stage yet.

I'm the same age and in the same position, the only difference is I knew it would be early for me. It's a healed thing to get your head around.

You might not need the sleeping pills, I had been suffering terrible insomnia but I slept through the night within 48hrs of putting my first patch on, I really hope you feel better soon, HRT has been fantastic for me

OP I had a similar situation earlier this year - I’m a few years older than you (48) but it was still a surprise. But tbh it was a relief too. I’d been existing in a fog on terrible sleep, aches, low
Mood , period flooding , and such brain fog, I really felt like I was losing my marbles- id almost convinced myself of early onset Alzheimer’s! So to be told it’s peri menopause was almost a relief. At least there’s a reason!

I do feel quite positive about it, it’s the beginning of an era! But I’m certainly going to talk to my girls about it, it’s something that really no one talks about and in the past has been a bit of a mystery. Davina’s documentary was good, I’m going to rewatch it now I have a vested interest!
Hope once you get over the shock you feel a bit more positive

I went into perimenopause at about the same age as you. My FSH levels were 30 (or something stupidly low), neither was I producing an progesterone. Both things suggested that I was in premature ovarian failure. However, my GP (and several others) failed to pick up on this and refused to believe I was in need of HRT due to my age, and because I was still menstruating and my oestrogen levels were high. I struggled along for 18 months with all the 'classic' menopause symptoms of chronic insomnia, night sweats, sweats, hot flushes, brain fog etc etc and in the end, I threw money at the problem and went to see a women's health specialist. She knew instantly what was wrong.

The thing is, these things happen. There's no rhyme or reason as to why some women go through this much earlier than others. All you can do is accept it and ensure you are given HRT as this will protect your brain, bones and heart.

I'm now 46 and post-menopause. This means I haven't had a period for 2+ years and my body now produces none of is own hormones, so I will be on HRT until I'm 50 at least. In addition to hormones - I take progesterone, testosterone, estradiol and estriol, I also take melatonin to help me sleep and a special oestrogen pessary for my vagina as I had experienced atrophy.

As an aside, look after your vagina. Ask for Vagifem which will stop atrophy.

And also HRT has been amazing. I saw a change in my mood very very quickly. Within a week.
Sleep is not perfect, still have the odd disturbed night but it’s better- Saturday night I got 8 hours!

Do lots of research. The symptoms are many and various as are the types of HRT. Your GP sounds lovely but many GOs not very clued up about HRT. Transdermal patches and micronised progesterone are recommended as the safest option.

I’m sorry but I did laugh at that comment from your OH! He is trying to help in the way he thinks is best. My OH recently went to a session at his work on the menopause, and he was one of only two men there. I was very touched that he cared about my future and was interested to know more.

Oh, I should have said, my specialist believes stress can play a huge part in early menopause. I know I was thrust into during an incredibly stressful time in my life.

Once you get on HRT, you will start to feel ok again.

It's a change, a slap in the face that you have lost / losing your fertility, but once you actually get rid of the anxiety/depression feelings you can see the world more clearly again.

Oh god;finally someone is talking some sense.I'm 37,I get hot flushes all the time,can't stand the duvet on at night and wake up sweating,I'm moody,My sleep patterns are completely off;I don't sleep at night and end up sleeping in the day and the brain fog 😶‍🌫️ is awful;literally sitting there doing stuff like trying to write out a word;I know how to spell it but just can't get it down on paper and keep on spelling it wrong,not being able to find the right word for something or looking at my phone screen and not being able to see the app I want to use.My periods are all over the place;sometimes heavy,sometimes really light.

I understand that it's a shock because you weren't expecting it. And, strangely, you can feel a bit bereft when your periods stop. But on the bright side, when you're through the worst (and don't think you will automatically get all the oft-spoke-of about symptoms - I got next to nothing), you face a new freedom. No discomfort, no sudden worries that you started unexpectedly, no buying sanitary towels. You're just free from it all. I love it and when I see people by tampons and towels, I feel sorry for them.

Hi OP, I'm the daughter of a long line of women who went through premature menopause, so myself, sisters and cousins were brought up expecting to get it. It was talked about openly and in quite positive terms which made a difference.

The upshot of it was we were brought up well educated about what might happen, and with the knowledge that if we wanted kiss we should crack on sooner rather than later. We've all now got our careers established and had kids in our late 20's early 30's. No one would leave waiting until 35+ to start trying.

It has been a positive thing for us.

KIDS!! JFC

Look up the menopause doctor website. Tons of info on there and really useful about HRT and non HRT options.

The Davina documentary is also excellent.
In some ways you are very fortunate. I went to my GP when I was 39 with palpitations, what I know now as early symptoms. It took me 10 years of going back and forward before they prescribed HRT.

I’m still settling into the right regime for me, but so far HRT has been fab.

Sending you a virtual hug

I understand your upset completely. By the time I was 42 my periods had stopped completely. I was unprepared for this and hadn't realised that the irregular periods, brain fog, mood swings, insomnia etc I'd been experiencing for years were perimenopause. I had a very stressful job at the time and just assumed I wasn't coping as well as I used to, and did numerous pregnancy tests when I skipped periods completely.

Despite having teenagers and no desire for more children I was very upset when I was officially told that I was menopausal. For some reason, I was even more upset when the nurse discussing HRT with me told me I wouldn't need any form of contraception as I'd been long enough without a period for pregnancy to be impossible. I think it's not that I want another child, more the realisation that the section of my life where I was a mother has started to end.

Like your DH, mine tries to have a joke about it and tries to cheer me up. I don't think he can possibly understand- clearly he is getting older but he'll never be explicitly told that he couldn't father a child again.

I'd try not to panic because you are not YET post menopause.

Also a single blood test is not reliable. You need 2 over 2 months on days 2-5 of your cycle.

At the moment, all you know is your hormones are falling, but this could be a very up and down process for years.

The age of menopause is around 51 but peri can last for years and some women like you are in peri at 40 but keep having periods to 45 or longer.

So, all I'm saying is you have not actually hit menopause.

HRT will work wonders and you can use it forever if you want to. You will need to take it till you are 50-ish anyway.

Not read the new posts yet but I'm at the pharmacy and they don't have the patches 😩
Does anyone use the prepaid prescription thing?

@sansucre mine were 30 but I couldn't remember what that was for. Thank you. I was fobbed off. Just reading through your post now but thanks for reminding me what that level was. X

@thenewduchessofhastings

Oh god;finally someone is talking some sense.I'm 37,I get hot flushes all the time,can't stand the duvet on at night and wake up sweating,I'm moody,My sleep patterns are completely off;I don't sleep at night and end up sleeping in the day and the brain fog 😶‍🌫️ is awful;literally sitting there doing stuff like trying to write out a word;I know how to spell it but just can't get it down on paper and keep on spelling it wrong,not being able to find the right word for something or looking at my phone screen and not being able to see the app I want to use.My periods are all over the place;sometimes heavy,sometimes really light.

Have you spoken to anyone about it?

@sansucre

I went into perimenopause at about the same age as you. My FSH levels were 30 (or something stupidly low), neither was I producing an progesterone. Both things suggested that I was in premature ovarian failure. However, my GP (and several others) failed to pick up on this and refused to believe I was in need of HRT due to my age, and because I was still menstruating and my oestrogen levels were high. I struggled along for 18 months with all the 'classic' menopause symptoms of chronic insomnia, night sweats, sweats, hot flushes, brain fog etc etc and in the end, I threw money at the problem and went to see a women's health specialist. She knew instantly what was wrong.

The thing is, these things happen. There's no rhyme or reason as to why some women go through this much earlier than others. All you can do is accept it and ensure you are given HRT as this will protect your brain, bones and heart.

I'm now 46 and post-menopause. This means I haven't had a period for 2+ years and my body now produces none of is own hormones, so I will be on HRT until I'm 50 at least. In addition to hormones - I take progesterone, testosterone, estradiol and estriol, I also take melatonin to help me sleep and a special oestrogen pessary for my vagina as I had experienced atrophy.

As an aside, look after your vagina. Ask for Vagifem which will stop atrophy.

VAGINAL ATROPHY? Oh god, I daren't even Google that!