Peri menopause confirmed at 40. I'm absolutely lost.

[CassieJumped]

For the past 18 months I've had lots of weird health issues the main one being a period which lasts a day. At 39 I had my bloods done. Can't remember much about it but something was slightly off but I was fobbed off with a 'come back in 6 months'
The way I was dismissed made me reluctant to go back.
For the past 6 months I've been surviving on minimal sleep. I have sweats and flushes and lots of other niggly symptoms and I started to feel like I was going crazy.
The other week when I said that to Dh he said 'we're getting older babe, that's just part of it' I told him he was dismissing me just like the doctor had and I emailed to get my bloods done.
Spoke to the female doctor at the surgery who sorted the blood form out and she was great.
Then had a really low week and wondered if it was possibly depression as well or instead of.

I've just had a call from the doctor and had the diagnosis of peri menopause confirmed.
She said something about levels and mine was 30. I should have written it down. I broke down on the phone and she was great and really sensitive. I felt validated that I wasn't going mad but now for some reason I feel heartbroken. I've got three lovely children (2 teenage daughters who I want to help see menopause the way taught them to see puberty and periods when I get my head round it) Dh had the snip a few years ago so there were no plans for more. I'm still sad. I've had a huge snotty sob on my own in my room as Dh is away and not back until tonight. And I'm still crying whilst typing this out but that kind of eye leak crying.

The doctor has said because of my age she's going to arrange a scan to see why my ovaries are failing (ouch 😢) and do my blood pressure etc.

She's sending a prescription to the chemist for ten sleeping tablets and hrt patches for I think three months.

If anyone has any good informative links I would really appreciate it.
I wanted to know what was wrong but I feel stupid that now I know I'm incredibly upset.

Thank you for reading. I know it was ridiculously long but I know how well informed you will be.

It's shown on the link I left you that it's out of stock and has been for ages. Your GP ought to know this!

There are other options including an estrogen only patch, with a progesterone tablet like Utrogestan, or estrogen gel with the same progesterone tablet.

Also at your age I'd maybe push to see a menopause gynaecologist as they can often offer more options such as various birth control pills that have a higher level of estrogen than HRT which may be needed for someone your age.

Your GP perhaps ought to consult the BMS for advice and keep up to date on availability of HRT.

This is their latest list of what is available and what's not.

I'd copy and print and give it to your dr or email it over.

thebms.org.uk/2021/11/british-menopause-society-further-update-on-hrt-supply-shortages-22-november-2021/

FemSeven® Sequi (estradiol/levonorgestrel) Expected Q1 – 2022

As you can see on the list it's not available until sometime in the next 3 months. Including Elleste sequi

Thank you for that. I'll send it across to the doctors now.

I've had a bad night. I've been awake but dozing since 5am with hot flushes one after the other. It felt like I just cooled down from one before another one hit. Then the start of a panic attack which I managed to breathe out of with square breathing but I'm shattered now and really antsy/anxious? I've got work today later on so I can't even nap later.
I've been logging my symptoms in the balance app so thank you for thy recommendation.
I've to speak to my boss today and ask to be able to take the call from my doctor tomorrow whilst I'm working. I'm sure she will let me but she's not the most sympathetic person.
Last week after I cried at work she asked me why I wasn't sleeping? What was on my mind? When I said I didn't know and nothing was worrying me she said there must be and I should write it down and I'd sleep better!

Does your work have a menopause policy OP? Lots do nowadays and it may help frame the conversations with your boss, as you can legally expect reasonable adjustments

@Hungry675tf

Does your work have a menopause policy OP? Lots do nowadays and it may help frame the conversations with your boss, as you can legally expect reasonable adjustments

I didn't know that. I'll have a look online now. Thank you.

Phone call due this afternoon. Fingers crossed.

Op this may sound a bit left of centre but l found the menopause magnet that you wear on you knickers at night fantastic for the disturbed sleep. Its a small purple magnet that attaches both sides of the pants against your tummy.

@Dragongirl10

Op this may sound a bit left of centre but l found the menopause magnet that you wear on you knickers at night fantastic for the disturbed sleep. Its a small purple magnet that attaches both sides of the pants against your tummy.

I've never heard of that. Dh is asking what I want for Christmas though I've taken a couple of the sleeping tablets and they work wonders. I didn't take one last night and had the worse night from about 4am with hot flushes. I don't want to take sleeping tablets long term because I'm worried about the addictive side of them but they really do work. I'm taking one tonight when I get in from work so I should have a good nights sleep when normally work nights are the worst.

They are from ladycare plus and are about £35, friends of mine had recommended them to me and l was not convinced for a while, but became desperate to sleep well again, and it worked very well for me.

@CassieJumped Your GP is supposed to only give sleeping tablets for a very short time- such as 3 days.
How many did you get? (They are addictive, yes.)

@Dragongirl10 The magnet is purely placebo. No research including that by the RCGO has shown any effect.

If you want to put a magnet in your knickers, buy one for £1 (the sort you put on your fridge! )

[quote JinglingHellsBells]@CassieJumped Your GP is supposed to only give sleeping tablets for a very short time- such as 3 days.
How many did you get? (They are addictive, yes.)

@Dragongirl10 The magnet is purely placebo. No research including that by the RCGO has shown any effect.

If you want to put a magnet in your knickers, buy one for £1 (the sort you put on your fridge! )[/quote]
I got ten but a very low dose.
Dh has picked up my prescription. I've now got evorel sequi patches. I have no idea what the next step is. Just slap one on and it lasts the month? I'm at work so won't be home until late.

I don't think it lasts a month but the leaflet will tell you. I was offered these and I'm sure they said twice a week. I opted for daily gel as it's easier and not visible. My GP said most patients seem to prefer the gel.

I originally went to Newson Health but they actually gave me incorrect information so I need to write to them and complain. I cancelled my follow up with them too.

@CassieJumped The patches will have aleaflet in telling you what to do.

Basically, if you can wait until the start of your next period, (if they are still regular) that's a good time to start on Day 1 (the day you start bleeding.)

Doing it that way will mean the patches tie-in with your own cycle, so it will be estrogen only in the patches for the first 2 weeks, then the next lot of patches are estrogen + progestin (the same as a natural cycle.)

[quote JinglingHellsBells]@CassieJumped The patches will have aleaflet in telling you what to do.

Basically, if you can wait until the start of your next period, (if they are still regular) that's a good time to start on Day 1 (the day you start bleeding.)

Doing it that way will mean the patches tie-in with your own cycle, so it will be estrogen only in the patches for the first 2 weeks, then the next lot of patches are estrogen + progestin (the same as a natural cycle.)[/quote]
Thank you so much. I've got two packs as the third one wasn't available. Dh seems to think they will charge me again for the third pack but that can't be right can it?
Luckily I'm due in in a day or two (according to dd1!!) so not long to go. I'm really hope this helps. I had a bad night last night despite having one of the sleeping tablets. I think it's the low dose age?

Thank you all for your help. It's so useful when I'm floundering

I wonder whether you could do with some CBT op? I understand it is difficult but to be sobbing and lost would seem an overreaction. Peri at 40 isn’t the end if the world, it isn't a serious illness diagnosis. Many women start experiencing issues in their 40s before periods end.

I don't want to patronise but try some positive thinking, do some exercise to help with sleep and for some endorphins whilst the hrt starts working. It will take weeks if not months before you start to feel the benefit, try not to over analyse every symptom. Good luck.

OP I was the same, told I was peri menopause at 40. Got Everol sequi patches too and they were a life changer! You change them twice a week. Within a week I was feeling better again. You will too. I suspect your emotions are all over the place because of the lack of hormones, you'll feel more stable once you've started the HRT patches.

Handhold OP, I can understand why you feel upset. I am also going through this phrase of life at the moment, it’s awful, but we will get through it. I am going to try the Menopace supplement and see if that helps, I have ordered some today to try for 3 months and see how I get on.

*I wonder whether you could do with some CBT op? I understand it is difficult but to be sobbing and lost would seem an overreaction. Peri at 40 isn’t the end if the world, it isn't a serious illness diagnosis. Many women start experiencing issues in their 40s before periods end.

I don't want to patronise but try some positive thinking, do some exercise to help with sleep and for some endorphins whilst the hrt starts working. It will take weeks if not months before you start to feel the benefit, try not to over analyse every symptom. Good luck.*

Possibly. I had counselling a few years back which was incredibly helpful with issues I've had from my childhood.
For me part of this process has involved my hormones being on the surface a lot. During the phone call with the doctor I cried probably because I had been dismissed previously and this was validating that I was going insane. The two hours sleep at most each night isn't helping at all. I've always needed lots of sleep. When I finished the conversation with the doctor is did sob for a good while. I think I was letting out all the fear and frustration as well as feeling unprepared for any of this.
Whilst you say most women start experiencing issues in their 40's I'm just forty and looking back I've been having these issues for almost two years but because they've built up I didn't know what it was. I have spoken to my friends and no one is seeing similar symptoms. I've friends a fair bit older than me who aren't in this place yet so it's pretty isolating.
We are given little education on any of this and the more research I do the more I realise that the person I am at this minute isn't me. When I try to think of my two older children's childhood it feels like they are behind frosted glass. My husband is amazing and has been keeping on top of the house with very little input from me and parenting our children again with little input from me. I do what I can were i can.
I'm hoping when the patches start their job I will feel that I have energy enough to start moving but at the minute it takes all my energy just to get up in the morning and control the panic and anxiety that courses through me all the time.

My view is that you need to reach a point of acceptance, that is somewhere between a previous poster's thinly disguised 'pull yourself together' advice, and all out misery.

A lot of your emotions will be down to lack of estrogen. And of course you are bound to feel a loss at being in perimenopause at 40, and presumably 39. This IS early, but menopause (final period) can happen at any time from 45 (which is still considered on the early side ) and the slow down can start years beforehand.

Maybe instead of fighting the fact it's happening, you can start being positive, because your family is complete, you were able to have your DCs young (they are already teens) and many women are still TTC at your age having started trying later in life.

Once you get the HRT sorted and the dose etc right, you will be just the same as any other 40 yr old except your own hormones will be being given a top-up.

Hold on in there and wait and see how you feel with HRT in 2-4 weeks.

I totally agree op we are given very little information so it can be alarming and upsetting. I wasn't in anyway suggesting you pull your yourself together (not sure if I'm the pp jingling was referring to there!) Rather to recognise you are doing the right thing taking hrt as you are so young but also other things will help like cbt etc if you are finding it overwhelming, but it isn't a devastating situation rather the next stage .

Thank you.
I should be due on my one days worth of period tomorrow so if that's the case I think that's when I start the first lot of patches!
I'm really hoping I see a difference. I'm beginning to get my head round it and weirdly what helped was my close cousin messaging me about it and saying something like 'it must be a shock cause of your age'
I'm open about it at work so my managers and close friends know if I'm a bit of a mess it's my normal at the mo.
I'm one of those people who everything thinks is happy all the time but I have just been getting on with it at work and falling apart at home!
Onwards and upwards anyway.
You've all be so helpful, I really appreciate it.

It's on. Let's see how this goes. Fingers crossed after terrible night of sleep

@CassieJumped

It's on. Let's see how this goes. Fingers crossed after terrible night of sleep

And it's lifted off already 🙈