I'm so tired of the menopause :(

[NowImmeagain]

I'm probably actually post menopause, don't have periods really, occasionally feels like I'm going to have one and some light pink discharge. But I'm so tired of feeling the way I do. I have patches that have helped with night sweats. I have been using oestrogen pessaries for about six years. But I still have itchiness and dryness around my genitals. Some lichen sclerosis too. Sex is out of the question because the area is too sensitive and sore. My relationship has ended because I didn't feel anything anymore, no love, I wasn't aroused, nothing. I feel so sad that this is it for me now. I'm depressed and anxious about everything. I don't sleep well. Antidepressants haven't helped. I can't even sit in a doctors office and talk about it now and I can't discuss it on the phone. I live in a very small town, if I asked for a referral to a gynae I'd have to travel over an hour and I'm too anxious to drive that far, and there's no decent public transport. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up because what's the point anymore?

You sound very, very depressed, Nowmeagain. The not wanting to get out of bed is a classic symptom. It may not be menopause-related at all.

I well understand your reluctance to go on any more antidepressants but some sort of psychotherapy could help you if you found the right person. There are some who will do online therapy. It really is good to talk.

Having a prolapse is no fun, surely something can be done about that, such as surgery. Your life would definitely be improved without that problem.

Good luck.

I suffer from depression and on antidepressants I'm 50 ,have been feeling really anxious about 3 weeks now ,I'm struggling, any advice would be very helpful x

You could try some meditation/hypnosis sessions. There are plenty on Youtube; John Moyer, Jason Stephenson and Michael Sealey are particularly good. They have certainly helped me and I am usually quite cynical.

I'm horrified by most of the responses on this thread. Really cross.

I disagree with nearly everything that's written. Here's why.

Posters saying she should see a GP. I I've been on 7 recent mn threats when people say the GP surgeries are not doing face-to-face appointments. I have posted myself that every person I know : my mum, all my friends, ( I am part of a mums net postnatal group of 40 women across the UK none of them, the GP surgeries are doing face-to-face).

I know no one whose GP surgery is doing face-to-face at the moment and I have said so on recent mums net threads. Many posters have said the same.

I have also posted on the menopause threads many times in the last 6 months. there are hundreds and hundreds of MN'ers who have been fobbed off and dismissed by GPs and none of them given the correct menopause support.

I myself only just started HRT a month or so ago and have been fighting for nearly 2 years : keep on being told I need to have a blood test ? keep on being told I don't qualify for this medication.

three times recently I've had two GPs tell me that because I haven't had a period for only a year they told me that the nice guidelines, Said I didn't qualify for any HRT because I need to be without a period for two years.

this is absolute nonsense. Nice says one year. and many many mn'ers Have said that they've been told the same thing.

GPs are extremely ignorant and often very unsupportive. I should've been on HRT years ago and all these posters saying oh you're depressed you need to trust a GP, go and speak to a gp. Get real! you are absolutely deluded. you only have to read many of the threads in mn menopause section to know that women are being failed everywhere across the country all the time and most of the time they're not depressed at all and I find it very very hard all these people insinuating that it's so easy to go going to speak to your GP or to get support because believe you me it is so not!

I don't believe Op is depressed, or need ad's. That's the kind of tripe the GPs trot out to try and get rid of menopausal woman so they don't have to deal with them.

Thank you jessstan, I waiting for appointment for CBT, I'm very nervous x

Said I didn't qualify for any HRT because I need to be without a period for two years.this is absolute nonsense. Nice says one year. and many many mn'ers Have said that they've been told the same thing.

@Oblomov20 For info, NICE does not say anything about a year of no periods before using HRT.

There are 2 types of HRT

1 For women having periods
2 For women not having periods- a no-bleed type which some women prefer but they can also use the type that gives a monthly bleed.

As for surgeries being closed. The government has stressed time after time that GP surgeries have to offer face to face appts.
Hospitals are up and running offering these now so there is no reason at all that GPs can't. Many people need a hands-on diagnosis which can't be done by phone.

It's so rubbish isn't it- it affects every area of your life - sleep, confidence, diet, relationships. I'm going through it now at 50. Luckily I'm a hypnotherapist so use a colleague to do sessions with me which lower anxiety, help my sleep, stop me over eating and improve my mood. It also helps with fears and phobias.

Look up the Association of Solution Focused Hypnotherapists online- some students offer free sessions and are registered with the National Council for hypnotherapists.

I carry out my sessions over zoom so you don't need to leave the house. Hypnotherapy is based heavily on neuroscience and hormones play their part. We get fantastic results for all sorts of problems including managing menopause and peri-menopause symptoms.
.

Thanks @Oblomov20, I agree. Every time I've been to see a gp about the menopause I've felt dismissed, not taken seriously, like these symptoms should just be accepted as part of aging and can't be taken seriously.

@celticmissey hypnotherapy sounds lovely. Unfortunately I'm really short of cash at the moment due to my cat being ill Abbas constantly at the vet's for three months.

@Martha17, sorry you're struggling too, it's hard isn't it? All I can recommend is keep on at your gp and don't take no for an answer. GPs seem to prescribe antidepressants instead of hrt a lot of the time. I was on antidepressants for years, but looking back I think it was perimenopause mainly.

Jingling. I was told that The nice guidelines differentiate between menopausal and peri menopausal, and that different medications can he given for those 2 different categories.

And that the guidelines changed in 2005 down from 2 years to one year. Re categorising a women as thus menopausal rather than peri menopausal.

Is that not correct?

Yes that's correct- afull 12 months with no period means you are post menopause.

But you said that NICE said hrt couldn't be given until a year after the last period. (Not the same as a definition of peri and post menopause.)

Women having periods use HRT.

That's not what I said!
I was told by several GP's that I couldn't. Because I had only not had a period for a year, not 2.

When pushed, and I made a complaint, 2 GP's admitted that they did not know it had changed from 2 years to 1 year, in the NICE guidelines. In 2005. 15 years ago. And they admitted they had been thus giving 100's of peri menopausal women a weaker drug than they could have been on.

Are you saying you believe you can't have HRT until a year after your last period?

@Oblomov20 There is nothing in NICE about having to wait for a year after no periods to use HRT. I know the NICE guidelines inside out as I write about them for the media- women's mags, online medical sites etc.

Maybe you are confusing it with when women can use continuous combined HRT? That's 12 months after the last period. But it's always been like that- it was never 2 years.

And NICE guidance was 2015 not 2005. And there is nothing about a 'weaker drug'- don't know what you mean by that.

No it is not nice ,but it's even harder as I already suffer with depression, but lately it's become so so much worse x

@martha17 keep on at your doctor.

I emailed mine on Tuesday and have heard nothing back

I'm having an ultrasound scan of womb on Tuesday, then doctor says she'll think about HRT, but all this delay is not helping my depression and anxiety, I'm so nervous and don't know what to think xx thanks for replying

Hang on in there. It's not long til Tuesday and at least they're doing something. Once they've done the ultra sound that'll know whether you have a thickened lining of the womb, fibroids etc. Hopefully with all that ruled out she'll prescribe hrt 🤞🏻

I really hope so, as it is affecting every part of my life I wake up every morning full of anxiety and dread ,I've been on antidepressants for many years ,and have always been well ,but lately I feel my life is over at 50 xx😑

@Oblomov20 Sorry I missed your other post and my response was to this one.

three times recently I've had two GPs tell me that because I haven't had a period for only a year they told me that the nice guidelines, Said I didn't qualify for any HRT because I need to be without a period for two years

I did wonder if we had our wires crossed and you were talking about the 2 types of HRT ( for peri and post meno) rather than being able to get HRT per se.

Your 2nd post seems to clarify you were talking about using continuous combined. Many many years ago I think there was a 2-year rule about offering continuous combined, but it changed to a year (or over age 54) a long while back.

It's definitely not 'weaker' however; it's got progesterone every day compared to 12 days a month for sequential. Many women (me!) prefer to continue with sequential when they are long into post menopause as it's has slightly less risks and some of us can't tolerate daily progesterone.

I think we've covered the mix up now :)

@Martha17 why are you having an ultrasound? Do you have symptoms that are worrying you and your dr?

No ,I have a mirena coil and I want it out as it's I think it's causing a hormone imbalance, the doctor said she wants to make sure womb is ok ???? I really don't understand ,,,, but I know my mental health is suffering immensely xx thank you so much for replying

Your drs talking bollocks.

If you have a coil it's doing its job if it's under 5 years old. No one has a thick lining with a Mirena unless it's lost its hormone content and is old. Have you actually challenged her on this?

If you do keep your coil all you need is the estrogen part of HRT as the Mirena is giving you the progesterone part.

Honestly, she sounds ignorant.

Can you see someone else?

No she deals with women, coils and all those issues, I was acctutally crying into her face with this anxiety she said nothing she can do ,, I don't have much faith in the other doctors at practice xx sorry for moaning

I'm sorry you are feeling so down about it all and she's not helping :(

The way I see this and without any info on your medical history is this:

1 You have a Mirena - for birth control or heavy periods? Which?

2 You feel unwell possibly because of menopause and also you have been out on ADs which do not usually help menopause symptoms.

3 You want your coil removed in case it's causing depression. If you have had it for some time (the coil) it's unlikely to suddenly give you side effects now.

4 If you are in peri menopause, most drs would give you HRT for your anxiety and depression AND as you already have the coil for the progestogen part, you just need estrogen- so that's easy.

So.....

I'd be asking her

-why do I need a scan when a Mirena controls the lining all the time?

-why can't I have estrogen added to the coil as part of HRT?

-what makes you think I have a thickened lining when the Mirena is there to keep the lining thin? Why do you think it's not doing that?

Unless you have the coil for a thickened lining already or very heavy periods it makes no sense to put you through a scan before prescribing HRT.

Also, if you have had the coil for some time and not had side effects, it's not likely it's that which is causing your anxiety now. That will be down to loss of estrogen so the treatment is to add estrogen.