Fed up of every single thing in my life!

[growlingbear]

I feel like growling with frustration, I'm in such a rut.

Can't stand working alone form home any more. I've done it for years and am SO LONELY!!! But not qualified or experienced to do anything else. And probably would come over a as bit bloody weird and socially inept after ten years of working alone.

So bored of where we live. Village full of Daily Mail readers, no cultural diversity. I miss London but can't afford it and want to find another lively but cheaper city to live in. But can't move until DC finish school and DH wants to stay in the countryside anyway.

I earn very little money because my self-discipline and motivation has just eroded since I turned 50 and I can't seem to find the drive to do more than the minimum. I think of retraining and then think 'can;t be arsed.'

All of this is why I've posted this in Menopause. Is it a hormonal/life change thing? I'm in a massive rut but have no drive to get out of it. I've wasted five years feeling like this, just drifting while DC go through secondary school. I'm knackered and overweight and feel like the most boring person in the world. Today I haven't even bothered to get dressed or do any work at all. I felt so sorry for myself I didn't get out of bed. WTF is wrong with me and how do I shake it all off and get started again?

I tried HRT and just couldn't deal with it. I was already on the floor, and the HRT sent me even further down. How long does it take to kick in normally? Your GP sounds hilarious just....hormones are i deed evil bastards

I'm just on oestrogen gel. My uterus is in the bin (haven't missed that one!) so no need for progesterone. It's a bit like dog snot, but it's helping the moods - a bit. Nothing's perfect, but it's a bit better.

this is a really random point, but I'm 43 and wondering about peri too. I just have these times when I am flat as a pancake and life is actually quite nice, so why does it happen?

Example, in spite of working only part time - though I do have an oldie to look after - last week I booked a cleaner for my small flat

I have actually cancelled it because I realised it was just me being lazy and having a moan. But I don't know how I became such a lazy arse. I do sleep badly, but have done since I was a teenager.

going to look up L-tyrosine!

Suggestion, I know a couple of people who volunteer as befriended for elderly people who visit once a week. You can also volunteer to speak to someone on the phone once a week. I guess if you were really organizes, you could speak to a different person every day as a volunteer.
Have you tried local groups knit & matter, WI, allotment, sports, book & games, ramblers
Any local volunteering groups to join, litter picking, fetes, car driving, music, first aid etc
Try something new

peas wrong thread?

Just wanted to join and say I’m feeling the same way 😐. Empty nest shortly, bereavement and some health issues this past year. Feel like I’ve lost my way.

@Wintersnowdrop We're at similar life stages. I think it's just such a massive shift. Empty nest when life has revolved around DC. Not just the incredible busy-ness of every day but the amount to which we lose our sense of self. I had a brilliant morning with an old friend out kayaking on the river today. She is ahead of me in the mental attitude 'life is going to be all about me for a change' and keeps dragging me out to do things. I was thinking as we headed up there, how come I wasn't one of those mothers who take care of their own fitness. I just let myself get fat and exhausted. And then there's the stress of demanding and difficult elderly parents, and bereavement. It's no wonder we feel so out of sorts.
I'm starting to feel better at the moment, but can't tell which is the blip: the down feeling or the up feeling.

I’m glad you are starting to feel better 😊 Fingers crossed that the up feeling is the new you 😊. The kayaking sounds fun although I don’t know if I’m brave enough for that! I’m in the thro’s of helping my dd plan university taster days and summer schools which is so exciting for her but I know I will find it very hard. I have another ds who has just finished year 2 of uni.

We are called the sandwich generation for this very reason OP. Bringing up kids and caring for elderly parents. I'm also not too bad atm - I wake up wanting to go straight back to bed. My mind has kind of taken me over and gone, "GET UP AND DO STUFF"....So far so good, but how long will it last

@Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername My new mantra is: You don;t have to want to do it, you just have to do it. I say that to myself every day before I get up. Otherwise, I'd do nothing at all.

@Wintersnowdrop We're doing uni taster days right now too. It's really fun in one sense, but in another, I am getting so nostalgic for when I was that age and life was ahead of me and all the things I could have done. (I did a lot when I was young, I just stopped pretty abruptly when I met DH and have done almost nothing with my life, apart from raising family and part-time work, ever since. )

I think you have it in a nutshell with everything happening at once. I have been doing the hard yards with the kids with no support from extended family and a husband who travels for up to 26 weeks a year from when they were two, a brother and mother with MH problems, father diagnosed with motor neurone disease and having to be the grownup for him, his death, then my mother and her slow decline with COPD and lung cancer, her death, moving a bajillion times, settling the kids, high school, husband’s year of unemployment, moving to my least favourite city on the planet, re-setting the kids, perimenopause and beginnings of actual menopause triggering PTSD (to do with this move), husband being deliberately oblivious and then deciding to rabidly carve out a new place for myself before my soul atrophied completely. The mental load is too much to bear - I have ditched it and been called selfish by so-called friends. (Others are applauding me.) This is a time of reprioritising yourself and everyone and everything you carry with you!)

Good for you @justilou would your friends call you selfish if you had a nervous breakdown and ended up sectioned for months on end? We need some breathing space.

To be fair, I suspect I came very close to having one!!! If I hadn’t signed myself up to study and had just accepted the life that was accepted of me with the last move, it would have been a massive disaster.