I'm heading towards trouble. I need some kind of tablet. Can anyone help please?

[Goingtobeawesome]

GP did a blood test. Said not pre/peri menopausal.
Saw consultant who said menopause can not be diagnosed with blood tests.
She is treating me for something else and has referred me to two other people I need.

Finished period yesterday. The time between is getting shorter and I feel heavier at times. This morning I am feeling pretty bad to be honest. Just want to cry and die tbh.

I have a lot of stress with no support other than DH who can't understand as not me. People who should and could help, won't.

I feel as well as that I do have hormonal stuff going on. I feel like I did when depressed but I know ADs won't help and I react too badly for them to be tried again.

I take starflower oil for breast pain and Angus cactus for PMT. both really work so I think a menopause vitamin type thingy would suit me. Can anyone please advise and hold my hand.

I've pm-ed you, OP

hesterton - I really do want to change. I'm carrying so much heartbreak and sometimes it consumes me. I drank too much at the weekend just to try and blot it out. I've never done that before and I can't let it happen again. I have a self help book but couldn't understand it (CBT for dummies) so if you've any recommendations I would be grateful.

SealSong - I've replied.

OP flowers
I'm sorry you are feeling so low.
I know it's hard to see the wood for the trees at times like this, but you can't always blame the menopause for everything. You sound as if you are struggling anyway with lots going on.

I don't know who you saw at the hospital but it sounds as if you had very little communication with them. Presumably she was a gynae? If she was, then did she examine you to diagnose the vaginal atrophy? If she wasn't then why on earth did she prescribe something that may or may not help you?

It's always a good idea to ask lots of questions if you arent sure what's going on at the time. eg- why the scan? why are they doing it? who else have you been referred to? what is their specialism? Are you having any input into this and suggesting who you'd like to see?

From what you have said you have some classic peri symptoms; low mood, VA and irregular periods. You should ask your GP to refer you to a gynaecologist if they can't help you. If you can afford it, why not ask for 1 appt privately and then you will be able to get another opinion?

The hospital doctor was very good. She already knew everything that had been going on and did examine me as well.

The scan is because I'm bleeding out of period times and I'm getting a lot of abdominal pains of different types.

I know what the other person I have been referred too specialises in. I just don't feel up to discussing that here.

thanks pollyperky- i'm glad i did persuade my gp to try hormonal treatment first even tho it hasn't worked- at least i feel i've tried. i'm hoping that the ADs will enable me to try, say, patches again and get thru the initial shit bit! i just need something to help me do that- and it may well be that i have some underlying depression as well- it's hard to know what's what!
wish you best of luck, OP- you sound as tho u might be further into peri than me- i still have regular periods and nothing like VA so maybe hormonal treatment will work better for you- as you're demonstrating signs of low oestrogen rather than fluctuating oestrogen which i think is harder to treat. this is just based on my experience and forums but i think we're the ones who know best!

Self refer to the Chelsea and Westminster menopause clinic

I went to Holland and Barrett today and got some stuff. H5 something. Will start taking before bed time.

What is the supplement you have bought aimed at? If you want to try alternative remedies instead of HRT (which may well sort you out in a week!) it's best to choose a supplement that targets the symptoms.
I'm not sure why you seem reluctant to try HRT? You have all the symptoms of peri- irregular bleeding, low mood and VA. Is there some reason you are not willing to go back to your GP or the consultant and ask about HRT? Anyway, I hope you get help and find something that works.

Again, I haven't said I am reluctant to try HRT. I just dont live in a utopia where I can get an instant GP appointment and get him to give me HRT when he says I am not peri menapausal.

Utopia?

Can you not go back to your GP and discuss this? I'm sorry but many GPs are not clued up on the menopause. You may need to be more assertive. It should never be the case when a GP says you don't have a condition when all the signs are you have! You need to go back and discuss the fact that blood tests are not accurate in peri and ask to be treated for your symptoms.

If you are buying supplements over the counter they may take many weeks or even months to have an effect. (unless they are something like sleeping potions.)

Given I can barely get through the day at the moment, I can't right now face a battle with the doctor. I am following the hospital doctors advice, I am awaiting two appointments, I have got new tablets to try and I am focusing on what I can cope with right now and that doesn't include getting an appointment to be told it's been five minutes, try the cream and supplements for a bit.

oh god! i hear you OP- the thought of obtaining a gp appointment then trying to fight your corner with them when you feel like shit is v hard!
i would reiterate trying to see a gynae who specialises in meno privately- even if just a one-off due to cost (i certainly couldn't see one regularly!)
just seeing a doctor who actually understands is a real boost.

Every time I try and get an appointment the system has changed. Last time I was told he was too busy to discuss the fact I'd been unwell for months and misdiagnosed four times..

OP you sound how I feel and I'm moved to post for the first time ever by this:

I know I'm lacking in serotonin but I think I need some melatonin too. I am permanently tired. Some days it is unbearable and I fall also mid afternoon if I sit down. Last week I woke at 2:15am and didn't sleep again until that night.

I could have written this a month ago. Desperate doesn't even begin to describe how I felt at my abysmal sleep patterns and consequent exhaustion. Whilst I can't help with any of your other symptoms as I too am searching for answers, I can help with the sleeplessness. Vitabiotics Menopace Night has transformed my quality of sleep, literally from the first tablet I took.
No more waking in the early hours and staying awake, no more shallow night's sleep leaving you wondering if you actually slept at all. I still have other symptoms as you do, but a decent night's sleep makes the situation more bearable.
I honestly want to shout about these tablets from the rooftops.

Thank you FrothyBubbles. I have been advised to try the new tablets for a month first as it hasn't need confirmed I am starting the menapause, so to stay off the menapause tablets, but I have made a note in my phone and I will certainly try them. I've tried sleeping tablets -herbal and Nyrol - but haven't found they helped.

Thanks again. How are you doing now?

It's always a bit odd when a totally new poster to MN comes along, finds the menopause forum and sings the praises of a product. Might be totally innocent but there has been a history of manufacturers using the forum to promote. Cynical, moi?

There is a very good report by the Royal College of Gynaecologists- I posted a link a few threads down- on the efficacy of alternative treatments. They have reviewed all the research. It's worth reading and taking note of which products may work for which symptoms. In other words, don't use something for flushes when you want help with sleeping or anxiety etc.

At best they say that OTC products may help 50% of women. So it's a bit hit and miss. Definitely worth searching out their report and having a read.

I'm ok thank you Goingtobeawesome. I'm only just waking up to the fact the the menopause may explain some if not all of my symptoms - which sounds daft given I'm fifty you'd think it would be the first thing I'd have considered! But I've had other more pressing stresses to contend with within the family so just kept going. I've taken the first step today though and asked the GP for help. Starting that conversation was so upsetting but I'm relieved I did it, so we'll see where that takes me. I too haven't yet been confirmed as either peri or menopausal, but my periods have been irregular for the last 6 months which is a bit of a giveaway. GP is doing blood tests too so I'm interested to read here that they're not reliably conclusive.
I too had tried herbal sleep remedies, amitriptyline (for another condition), and of course good old night nurse, but the best things about Menopace Night is that you don't get that kind of hungover/groggy feeling the next morning.
I totally understand how battle weary you feel concerning appointments and 'being heard', it's an exhausting process and so easy for a medical professional to brush aside your concerns, not realising how much effort it then takes for you to get back up and try again.
Don't give up, you deserve answers - you are not alone.

I too haven't yet been confirmed as either peri or menopausal, but my periods have been irregular for the last 6 months which is a bit of a giveaway.

Might be worth reading the NICE latest guidelines on menopause for GPs and for women- loads of links on this forum- and they say that GPs are not to test for menopause (by blood tests) in any women over 45. They should be treated on symptoms.

PollyPerky - yes totally innocent here : I didn't even know there was a menopause thread! I actually returned from the Drs this morning, thought I'd take a look on the Active/General thread to distract myself from how I was feeling and Goingtobeawesome's thread title literally jumped out at me. I couldn't read and run as her experience resonated too much. So no, I don't work for Menopace, or for anyone else for that matter, but I do know of a tablet that works...

I swear by menopace plus and I dint work for them either! :)
Back from dr and I have more back problems (nothing to do with peri at least!!)
Referral for urgent physio.
Sigh.
I'm falling apart!

Thank you Badders123, for your allegiance and because of your back problems. I would give you flowers but that is beyond my competence - I did try!

Frothy it's great that you have found something that works for you.
It's really important though to accept that all supplements only work for some women - this is what the RCOG information leaflet shows. They have studied all the research and concluded that supplements etc work for around 40-50% of women whereas prescribed HRT has a 80-90% success rate. I'm not for a minute doubting the success you have had but at the same time, women respond differently. In addition, during peri menopause, hormone levels are all over the place and symptoms come and go all the time. I had no symptoms for much of peri at all due to all the lifestyle changes I was doing, but once my periods stopped for good then all sorts kicked in and my consultant said HRT was suitable. If anything, the NICE guidelines are there to help women choose but also to reassure them that HRT works, is safe and not as risky as it was thought to be before.

Badders- you may find that your back problems are linked to peri! I have known several friends and friends of friends who have had back problems and all caused by low oestrogen. It means the collagen between the vertebra dries out, just like in our faces is not cushioning any more and causes pain.

My back problems are caused by my last pg and pre date by some years my peri symptoms.
I'm very confident it's not related.
I take your point 're supplements but there are many women like me who just can't get on with hrt whilst they are still fertile.
It sucks but there it is.

PollyPerky I think your comments and are extremely helpful, and the OP should pay attention to them! She needs to read the NICE guide lines print them off, then arm herself with them and go and see her GP.