Premature Menopause Support Group...anyone ?

[erilou38]

Hi there. I'm just thinking about setting up a little group for us poor ladies going through premature menopause. My doctor tells me that menopause is considered premature if the woman is under age 40. I'm 38 and believe i have been in menopause since i was about 35. I had hormone blood tests a year ago that showed i was borderline menopausal...only age 37, i could hardly believe it!! Anyway i now have lots of symptoms: irregular periods, periods are lighter a nd shorter. Hot flushes at night in bed, heart palpitations, insomnia, vaginal dryness, feeling tired all the time, hair loss and hair is dry and brittle, anxiety and depression. Oh, and i almost forgot, forgetfulness as well!! I find this whole premature meno very distressing and alone very isolating. Women that i know who are around my age don't understand as they are not going through it. None of my friends are experiencing it yet so i can't talk to them. I feel very alone a nd frustrated and get tearful and angry, (menopausal moods swings to blame i would think!) I'm sure some of you ladies must feel the same. Apparently prem meno happens to one in every hundred women so we are in the minority. Just thought it might be helpful if we could chat and share our thoughts and experiences. Erilou x

Oh and this is wierd....my boobs have shrunk massively! I've lost some weight recently due to the anxiety but my boobs used to pass the pencil test. No way anymore!

Can I join please? Just had my FSH results a pretty conclusive 40. GP has referred me to HRT clinic at the Chelsea and Westminster. I'm 45, cycle shortening to around 21 days for the last year or so.
Anxiety check, tearful check, moody check, poor sleep pattern double check. My skin is shite too ugh

sigh

May I join please? I have an under active thyroid (10years or so)' here's my story...

Dr (gp)' I know I have not been for years except to have blood tests for thyroid but I have been feeling so unwell for so long I would like a full blood tests of thyroid please or I'll have to go private,(nhs don't like doing this).
(Dr) that's expensive let's run a simple blood test on your thyroid cause your "in range" ( a phrase a thyroider hates).

Week later receptionist tells me I'm peri menopausal ! I'm at work in open plan environment start to cry, ask for dr to call me back later!

Dr apologises for receptionist and says please come to surgery, I did my fsh is 111.3 ( I've never found anyone as high as me on web) so I ask to see an endocrinologist as endo system complex.

Gp suggests he send me for MRI and US scan on thyroid as I'd mention deeper voice and sensation of omelette in throat I choke on!

Scans complete both pituitary and thyroid ok ish (thyroid got nodules and bit enlarged apparently but nothing to worry about gp says!!!

I ask can I now have referral to endocrinologist.... Gp says no point accept what's happened to you body and go to holland and barratts and get some herbal stuff for mp symptoms!!!!! He even pulled their website up and said ask someone there what's best for mp!!!

I said no I don't pay for prescriptions why should I go there your my dr, he then said well can't prescribe HRT from 1 blood test. (So he was happy to guess I mean diagnose me from 1 blood test but not prescribe despite horrific very recent and very sudden symptoms!!!) this is blatant gatekeeping in nhs by primary care and unwilliness to invest in finding actual truth on my health.

Dr said I need bloods repeated, went straight to get them after 2 hour cry, results Friday or Monday

Got so upset literally ran from surgery, got home cried for 2 hours and then rang surgery and said to reception I want second opinion and referral to specialist today.

I have not finished my family I am just turned 38 got married 2 years ago

I am so so angry and upset right now and for a gp to simple say get on with it.....

My family are trying to be supportive and poor dh trying to be brave but I know he's deeply distressed and sad about no children between us

Oh that's awful Alfie I don't know where you are in the country but I'd definitely push for a referral. Your GP sounds rubbish

I know after I came home I realised I'd been treated badly, I called the surgery and said I was very unhappy and for the gp to be told I want a referral to a specialist, well it fell on deaf ears he buggared off on his holiday without a second thought. I called today threw a hissy fit and was invited to speak with another dr. I held my nerve and got a referral and full complex blood test but was clearly told I'd have to go private for fertility treatment as dh has children from previous relationship and me too. Very sad right now

How much is private egg donating ivf, is it possible ??? This is a whole new world to me

just been told i'm menopausal at 36 and i am devastated. dunno if it's linked to my underactive thyroid gland but i just got married and now we probably won't be able to have kids. i feel so useless and angry too, it seems so unfair. and i feel like less of a woman. just hoping to share support with people who understand

Brownfox, sorry to head. It is devastating and the shock is hard initially. Try and be practical and think about your options, talking to your DH. Rule out what you want to do, and don't want to do.

Have you considered receiving egg donation?
Is adoption an option?

Be easy on yourself. A holiday might be something to book and look forward to, whilst you consider your options.

Early meno doesn't mean not becoming a parent, there are many options.

hello
Are you guys still there!

Hi all just realised I was looking at the old posts. I am sorry you guys are going through this. I was finally diagnosed with premature menopause in Jan after a lot of bugging from me and my husband to the gp. I am very luck in that I have 2 babies and last one being unplanned but a welcome blessing.

I have been started on HRT but I don't think it's working, I have been taking it for 3 weeks but the only difference I notice is that the hot flushes are not as bad.

Has anyone had any success on HRT?

I'm 39 and was told i was perimenopausal at age 37. I had a high FSH of 20.5. I believe the meno was starting around age 34 as that is when my periods began to go a bit haywire.
I got my diagnosis just a few months after i started trying for a baby and so it has been devastating. Luckily i do have 4 lovely, healthy children, from a previous relationship and my lovely husband has no children of his own and so we would have loved one together.
The last year my symptoms have got really bad. Irregular periods which are very light and short, terrible heart palpitations with night sweats, vaginal dryness, tiredness, anxiety, mood swings and thinning hair.
I'm now in my 4th month of HRT and it has improved the vaginal dryness and the night sweats don't seem as bad. Still waiting for my other symptoms to be cured though. Doctor has also given me antidepressants, which i haven't taken yet, for the depression and anxiety. Think i will start them soon.
Oh yeah, and my boobs shrunk too, sort of withered up. With the HRT, they are looking more fuller again. I never thought menopause could be this bad. I did read somewhere that women who go through it early tend to have more severe symptoms than a woman going through it at the normal age.
It is all so unfair. I am also considering having counselling as i'm finding it hard to comes to terms with not being able to have another baby.

A late joiner but I am wondering if I am perimenopausal too. I had query perimenopausal from bloods from the GP. Periods disappeared and then appear randomly, either far apart or within a week or each other. Very odd and not like my previous clockwork self!

The posts here seem to suggest that anxiety is an issue for many of you. It's not been before but I really resonate with this at the moment.

Not sure if I should be here or not really. I am 37 btw. Things are just very strange at the moment. I am hypothyroid too and I originally thought it was that but it isn't as it is managed fine currently.

Hi all,
Not a person to express or share how i'm feeling ,but i feel totally lost at the moment. I came across this whilst looking for explanations on why i am feeling as i am at the moment and have been for a long while now,and found all your comments very useful. I am 37 and have been struggling with many physical and mental ailments for a while now i actually thought i was going insane. Till this month when i didn't have a period and i know i can not be pregnant as my partner has had the snip. For months my periods have been heavy then light and so up and down and i have suffered with thrush for over 2 years now and problems with my stomach,which has turned into loss of toilet control at times. Mood swings are unbearable i don't know if i'm coming or going my memory has never been brilliant but my god i cant remember shit these days i live each day through a cloud of fog. I feel too young to be going through this it hurts so much to know im young but old makes no sense that but i'm sure some to some of you that it will. I have made an appointment to see the doctor in 2 weeks time lol only available appointment but i know now they will try to fob me off. I need support and don't know where to turn.

Hi khaleesi - if you are confirmed as being menopausal, depending on how far into it you are, you should eventually take HRT to protect your heart and bones. Don't be fobbed off. Unfortunately a single blood test is not sufficient to determine menopause but it is still helpful to have it. There is info on this on Menopause Matters website:
www.menopausematters.co.uk/diagnose.php
The orange menu on the left - also gives info about premature menopause

Hi there! Another one for your ranks! I'm 36 and have had symptoms for a couple of years but my periods have all but stopped now. I thought that the symptoms were from the strong opiates I was on for my degenerative disc disease - but I weaned myself off them some months ago and they continued. I was even carted into A&E for suspected Caudia Equina but I think that was just my libido disappearing! My poor husband said "I really miss you" the other night - we have only been married a year and for most of that I have found sex uncomfortable (even without the constant back pain from having missing discs!!).
I had an ovary removed when I was 23 and has no idea that could cause prem meno - thankfully I had a son at 24, so although I would love to have more I am not totally cheated out of it! DH has two young children, who really need us as their mother is an emotionally abusive narcissist - so really another child would be for purely selfish reasons.

I just feel totally let down and betrayed by my body. I don't do illness or weakness and get very frustrated by my physical limitations from having such a lousy back - but now being menopausal has made me feel less womanly. I'm just a sweaty, grumpy, smelly, dried up old bag - I thought mid-thirties was supposed to be prime time?!

Hello everyone, I hope that no-one minds me joining this discussion as I feel like a bit of a fraud, I sadly don't have any children and am unable to conceive due to being diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (Premature Menopause) back in 2010. Although my experience as a single,childless woman will differ from those of you who are mums, the loss of fertility is still something that hits us hard as women. I was looking online to see what support is out there, very little actually and I know I was very much in the dark after my diagnosis. I recently launched a website, it's a simple site with my blog that will detail my journey with this condition and also a forum for much needed discussion. I do hope that any of you reading this who feel that they might benefit from this will take a look. Much love and respect to all you mums doing the most important job in the world!.....Nia x
www.thelotusnetwork.com

Hi so glad iv found this, i v got premature menopause as well. I was 38 when blood test came back to say i had no female hormones. Dr put me on pill to give me period as i had all the usual premenstral symptons but no period after four months of this i was in agony had all the water tension very sore breasts and very quick tempered but no relieve frm it . Dr ended up putting me on a antideppression tablets. Help me so much with the mood swings and feeling so tired and low but the pill made my periods very heavy and i was in agony for days before and after. I went back to drs and hes now put me on hrt elleste duet 2mg fingers crossed i get back to normal , no more sweats aches n pains and tiredness and i am praying my brain goes back to normal and my memory will hopefully come back and i can go shopping and cook meals again without forgetting half if it. Oh and im praying my sex drive comes back and i get back to normal and i dont have a urine infection or bad thrush every time i have sex. Im only 40 and its not nice being this young and feeling so old

Is this thread still going?!

I'm nearly 35 and 99.9% sure I'm peri. My mum and grandma went through menopause late 30s so it fits.

Saw the gp who said I probably was, had some bloods done but I have the contraceptive implant in which she said would effect the results. I heard nothing.

Should I get the implant taken out to be tested properly? Should I be on hrt? I haven't had a period for 4 years but have managed to conceive 2 dc!

I feel awful, it's affecting my marriage. I'm going to have to go to the doctors on Monday aren't I?

I've been to the gp with my palpitation and racing heart problems now. seeing as they poo-pooed me last time and it can't possibly be peri-menopause then they can jolly well investigate them.

Is this group still going...?
I've been diagnosed with premature menopause at 40 and told I must take HRT due to the risks associated with getting it prematurely, but I've heard from others I could sort it other ways. I'm absolutely shattered from bad sleep and a total loss of energy and having terribly mood swings so I'd like do something proactively. Has anyone else experienced this, any bright ideas?

Reading these posts, I have easily written them myself. I'm 36 and have had all of the above mentioned symptoms + several extras since my daughter was 2 (she is now 15). I have given up trying to talk to doctors about it as they all seem to follow the same school of thought that I am "to young" for it to be menopause related.

Hi Sunseeker, poor you. You should tell them they have to do a FSH test. I've been referred to consultant as apparently everyone who has it early should see a doctor. I thought I'd do it naturally but have since read up on it and it seems the advice is to have het if you have it early. I'm giving up sugar and reading some books on diet to try to help some symptoms but bring on the treatment I say as right now it's miserable. My boobs are so big I feel like a ballon and the itching is unbearable. Like being pregnant but without the joy of knowing there is a baby coming. yuck.

hi I had the blood test when I was 37 and it said FSH was 40 now I'm 39 and the symtons are unbearable I have totally lost my sex drive and the hot flushes and night sweats are my worse symtons. They make me feel horrible with now energy as well as being wet through. I cant take HRT for medical reasons or so the doctors say! but by not taking them I worry what I will end up like in 10 years time the doctor as just fobbed me off they haven't given me anything to like calcium tablets to at least help with bones and I fell like I have just been left to get on with it you tell other people of my age who aren't going through it and they laugh and say your too young its nice to find other women going through the same thing. does anyone know anything to help with the hot flushes as they are driving me to despair.

Hi everyone, im 31 and am going through premature menopause. It all started nearly two years ago. Felt like rubbish, no period for a year, no energy, no sex drive, brain fog..the list goes on. Anyway went to gp and said I feel like im going through menopause. Did blood test which confirmed my thoughts but I had to have 2 more bloods done 3 months apart before they would diagnose. I felt really low at that point my results were getting worse so gp gave me hrt and said I should have them for 20 years. I do feel on more of an even keel but still have moments of madness. I really suffer with health anxiety, also still no sex drive.

Lonelygirl couldn't you have hrt patches? Maybe ask for an app. With a meno specialist.

Poking my head round cautiously. Slightly embarrassed to admit it was an Emmerdale storyline that made me wonder if this was me. I'm 41. We've been TTC since Sep 2012, eagerly at first then increasingly half-heartedly. In that time I think I've had two chemical pregnancies.

My once-regular periods are now few and far between. I seem to have no temperature gauge at all and I'm either freezing or too hot - more often too hot. Especially in bed. Worst of all is the emotions. I'm tearful, erratic, angry (and I'm generally very laid back and calm) and very down.

This morning I found some dip FSH tests, which I randomly got sent when I bought some cheapy OPKs months and months ago - but it was inconclusive really. Hard to tell if the line was darker than the control or not.

My question is whether I should go to the GP and ask her to do a proper test, and also if I am starting the menopause, how I'll cope? I'm devastated at the thought and keep crying (maybe this is a symptom?!). I'm really, really stressed at the moment with too much work and kids playing up so I'm sure that doesn't help.

I've read through this thread and all your stories. Sounds like some of you have had an awful time and my thoughts are with you.

Hi blondegirl, I would go and see your doctor and ask for tests. I was also very tearful, I knew deep down that I was going through menopause. The dr would probably want to do a couple of repeated blood tests.

I felt really alone when I found out. None of my friends are going through it. But I read through this site and menopause matters and know that other women are going through it.