Biggest meal out you’ve ever hosted/attended?

[Doglover321]

It’s my birthday next Saturday and I’m hosting an evening meal at a really fabulous local curry house. There’s a whopping 35 of us down to attend, some of whom I don’t know very well! Bit nervous that they won’t pay their bill and I’ll be landed with it….

What’s the biggest meal out you’ve ever hosted/attended and what was the occasion?

People you don't know well are coming to your birthday? You say you are 'hosting' - wouldn't that usually mean you're paying/providing food?
Different if you say to people - fancy joining me for a curry?

I would make it clear now that you're not paying. Perhaps the restaurant can give you a cost per head for a limited menu seeing as there's such a big group.

Id then text people in advance saying - the cost is £35 a head for three courses of your choice from this menu plus whatever drinks you have. Poppadoms and first round on me! They take cash or card!

I have been to a meal that size before but the host paid for everything.

If I am hosting I am paying. But as others say above, if it’s more like ‘who wants to join a night out for my birthday’ then be clear upfront that they’re paying for themselves.

I wouldn't be inviting people I hardly know and who I think might leave without paying! Nightmare sorting out separate bills for a party that size.

Get people to pay up front. They might think it's your treat. I'm astonished you haven't all had to pay a deposit.

What do you mean by hosting, that sounds like you are paying for it?

Why are you inviting people you don't know to your birthday?

When we have had meals out in big groups (40ish) it is usually pre order and prepay for the meal the drinks bill gets split according to drinks / non drinkers.

Hi, so I’m the Organizer of a Meetup group with almost 900 members and some of the people we’ve got coming are from the group and people I don’t know a great amount! But most are closer friends :)

It’s an event on the Meetup app, but also a private Facebook event for friends.

The way I’ve worded it on the FB event is: ‘join me at…. name of venue’

The way I’ve worded it on the capped Meetup is: ‘host’s birthday, grab ‘em while you can’ - but just for click bait reasons and because it’s limited numbers

The restaurant are really accommodating and have let me book without a deposit and we’ll essentially be filling the entirety of it (it’s quite small)

The way you have worded it is quite ambiguous with regards to who is footing the bill. Given the way you and these people know each other, they would have to be CFs to expect you to pay for it all.

But... I once arranged a meal out for about 15 colleagues. I can't remember the details, I don't think it was 'my' occasion but I was being an active team member. I gave my credit card details just to secure the booking, no deposit was taken.

We had the meal then everyone paid to cover what they personally had consumed, and left the restaurant when they were ready. Except it transpired that lots of them hadn't paid enough and there was a balance of over £200 owing. Which got charged to my credit card.

I was in the deep throes of my anxiety disorder at the time and felt unable to bring it up with anyone so... yeah I got totally stiffed.

I don’t think you have been clear enough to your friends but would expect to pay if accepting a meet up invite. Surely for a group that size, you are on a set menu for a set price which you can be explicit about in both events?

We have a meal with a similar group. We pre order the food and one person takes payment for the food before the event and sends in the order to the restaurant ahead of time. That person pays on the night We pay for drinks separately on the night as they are ordered.
Whilst I don't particularly like pre-ordering (who knows what you will fancy on the night?!), I can see the benefit of it being a lot quicker than 35 people ordering on the night, and gives the kitchen chance to pre-prep stuff. Plus payment is received in advance.

If they are paying their own you aren’t hosting in my view, sorry op.

the biggest I went to was about 40, it was hosted and they paid. Birthday dinner.

ive hosted a party for 50 at mine, we held it outside with a marquee.

Maybe organising is a better word? Sorry, I didn’t know how else to word my post on here!

We haven’t been asked to order from a set menu or anything. Just order on the night, anything we want

I’ve attended meals with 11 others before and it does seem to take ages for everyone to finish, and yes some are always in a rush to go! I guess I’ll just have to be firm with people that we need to all leave together to ensure everyone has paid the correct amount!

I’ve attended MeetUp dinners, and the restaurant needs to know in advance that everyone is paying their own bill. They may charge each drink as they deliver it to the table. You need to be crystal clear in advance with the attendees.

To add: once I went to a Chinese tasting dinner with MeetUp, and it was limited to say 16 people. There were a few no shows, and the restaurant insisted we share out the costs of their fixed price tasting meals.

There's usually 40 /45 in our annual extended family meal. We've been doing this for over 20 years so some of the original family have died, the younger ones are now older adults and there's new girlfriends and boyfriends that have joined in a long the way. I don't know everyone that well.

We order by family and pay that way. We order and pay for our own drinks from the bar. It has always been OK.
We have never had to pay a deposit.

This screams "the host is treating you" especially if, as is the case in my city, people are coming from other cultures where you wouldn't dream of expecting guests to pay for themselves at a birthday meal you'd invited them to

Then you have a moral responsibility to make sure they have 35 paying covers!

I think you need to follow up and be clear that people are paying for themselves.

Just out of interest, who would you guys usually expect to pay at a birthday meal? Would you expect to pay for yourselves or for the birthday girl/boy to pay for everyone? Etc. Just want to know the general consensus here in the UK. I recently attended my friend’s birthday meal at a different Indian restaurant and all 10 of us paid for ourselves. Xx

Similarly, I got invited to a Chinese birthday meal out with 2 others (one of whom was birthday girl) and we all paid for ourselves x

I am 27 if it makes any difference :)

Your invitation is completely ambiguous and I suspect that the majority are expecting a freebie paid for by you 😵‍💫
You’re not ‘hosting’, you’re organising.
The biggest meal I have hosted is Christmas dinner for 28. Great fun but expensive and exhausting!