misfit seeks equally odd friends

[misfit]

Do you feel as out of it as I do in 'normal' conversations and settings? If so, would love to discuss why. Don't know where else to start this thread.

Yes. I find it very difficult making friends and am awful in groups of people.
when I do get on well with someone then i get on very wel with them, unfortunately I don't meet people like that very often

snap. people who seem to 'get' me are very rare. it's now got to the point where I'm so out of practise talking to people, I just don't know how to have a conversation anymore and find myself faltering and freaking out a bit.

I'm exactly the same as hairymclary. I have one good friend and thats all.

what happens in groups of people with you two that is so awful?

a few things

1: i have little self-confidence, so feel that people won't be interested in what I have to say

2: following on from 1, in groups particularly there are more peoples attention to get, and more people to not care what you have to say

3: everyone else seems to chat away and you can't "break in" to the conversation

4: it's intimidating

and also (i feel awful about this) I find that a lot of general chit-chat is just boring. I can't sit and talk about hair styles or where to buy tights

with me I find that, either in groups or one-to-one, my mind seems to work in a completely different way to everyone else's, and I always seem to say odd things (they don't seem odd to me) that set me apart. I'm getting really fed up of being the weirdo. I'm just trying to be myself without pretence.

I'm with you on the boring nature of chit chat. i always want to talk about the 'big issues' and I think people consider me a bit too intense.

yep, same here. I think I have quite specific interests and will gladly talk about them for hours, it's just that I never find people with the same interests lol.

what are your interests that most people don't share, if you don't mind me asking? (bluntness is another thing that puts people off me!)

misfit an hairy.. some people talk big things all day long for a job and sometimes its great to talk bolox and hairstyles
the fact that your mind works in different ways would really make you more interesting to my mind and there is of course the other thing...do you care that much anyway!
enjoy your individual status!!
dont be a sheep!!!

I know what you mean.

I think I have slightly unconventional views on some things, and it's hard to express how I feel sometimes without sounding weird and defensive. I see a lot of materialism about and it doesn't sit well with me.

cowmad, i like my own way of seeing and doing things, i'm just sad that so few other people do, and that most people seem to see this as a disease. Wish more people were open minded like you.

Tatties, materialism... know what you mean.

I can talk the hind leg off a donkey about the environment, cloth nappies, growing vegetables and veggie cooking lol
Love talking about music and bands
on a more serious note I am into existentialism, politics, the state this bloody world is in

hairy, I think we'd get on well!

most of the people I get on well with have been those i've met online

I'm new to online communities, but don't seem to fare very well online, either... perhaps i'm just paranoid. I think I'm just seriously unsocialised. I was horribly bullied as a child and spent a lot of time on my own. So I'm very good at being on my own, but never learned to put up a shield, which I suspect is what most people do. So I'm very open when I meet people. I'm not scared of this, but I think other's find it unpleasant, like I've gone out without any clothes on and haven't shaved my legs or something.

ditto with the bullying. I definitely built up a shield though, and it took ages for me to get over that, even online.
Now there is no shutting me up on here lol

good for you! Sounds like you have more self confidence than you think you do.

oh online I am fine, it's just in real life that I lack the skills.
worry for ds really, because whose he going to learn from?

from himself as he not doubt has lots of his own resources like his mummy. I worry about this too, then remember how much I used to think for myself as a child and feel less worried for my DS. Anyway, he's naturally much more socialble than me, so hopefully that will work out well for him.

By the way, do you know if there are any online forums for people with alternative points of view/misfits/outcasts etc?

not sure about other forums and stuff tbh. I mostly chat on here and a couple of other parenty sites and band sites

so where to oddbods meet other oddbods?

dont do too much cyber ladies..not good
as i said before, some people would just like you the way you are...and now you know a few more.. why not arrange to meet up with those?

So great to find this thread. Only other day whilst talking to friend (one of few) I've always felt out of the loop as far back as I can recall. Like Hairy I worry to bits about the environment but when ever I open my mouth about the state of the planet and what we are doing to it people look at me as if I'm mad. It's not us that are odd its THEM