Secret Garden

[BriansMum]

Hope this works, a shiny new thread girls - come on in .

Sorry for the silence, bit fed up here. Lots of individual things adding up to a grumpy, irritable, tearful MudW:

1. Chronic back pain here too, I am on the strongest painkillers allowed whilst BF-ing (literally the ones I had post CS) and having physio and it's still killing me by 4pm every day. It feels like I am being stabbed with a rusty knife, I have actually looked behind me because the surface pain felt so bad.

1. DS2 dropping down the weight charts like a stone. Have been told to give FF once a day and start weaning (5ms), have been referred to GP so will see if he's gained anything tomorrow.

1. I am sick of this tiny rural town/country.

1. I am bored of spending so much of my day dealing with poo - literally!

1. DH and I are parents, not DW and DH.

But have no fear, I have solutions to all of these problems!

1. Give up BF. Sad, but a sane Mum without a hunchback is better than a screaming banshee. Oh and the depressing sensible lose weight and start exercising again thing too.

1. Bye bye BF, hello FF. And bananas.

1. Booking flights this month, will be back in the UK in Feb 2012.

1. DS1 is getting less fruit from now on ("no you can't have another apple, go eat a biscuit ).

1. Sex, sex, sex!

And maybe some anti-depressants (boo-hiss). My psych away for a fortnight, but if I am not feeling better by the time he is back I think I have to accept that I may have a touch of PND again and bite the prozac bullet.

I realise that was a pretty selfish post, but damn it made me feel better to write it!

Delighted to hear about MS - in a weird way obviously.

Will be back to post properly (ie: in response to your posts) later....

Leo- sorry to hear about back. Have you thought about acupuncture (would suggest this to mudw but fear another small town rant) as helps on pain.
Mudw- sorry about your woes but your plan sounds good. I had similar shit time to stitching bf (and a scar to boot) and wish I had jacked it in earlier. No one is saying it's not best but not at cost of mental and physical health.

Massive yay re return- would you be back in Wimbledon?

Can sympathize re parent thing- dh being lovely but I would like all clear so can get back to normal marital life . that said ms better If I eat more healthily and regularly which is a bugger as I want galaxy and salt and vinegar crisps .

Leo did you know there is an octonauts special comic in smiths with figurines?
That and dd got good first school report (well she doesn't cry wet herself hit other kids or snatch toys too much..) - was a bit comical having a parents evening . Dd party plan now almost Olympic opening ceremony in scale and detail- nanny seems to be enjoying it

Any news on job stitching or don't ask?

How is new job going for dh and any house news laguerta?

Just looking at book thread here for summer Hol reads- i know I have dumbed down (from admittedly a low base ). But where are the thrillers, jilly cooper or even John le carre? It's all feminist theory and great works. Maybe i need a low brow book club ( I do like a stretching book from time to time - but these people are the intellectual equivalent of people who never eat chocolate).

Any good book tips here?

Mudwiggle, sorry to hear you're down but pleased to hear you're definitely coming home . I can so relate to a lot of what you've said too.

No progress on jobs and getting more desperate as each day passes .

Books? 'Room' is excellent and not actually as depressing as you would imagine. Can't think of any others but will have a think about what I've read recently. Have you read any Jodi Picault?

Leo - I second Gaston's acupuncture recommendation. I had it years ago and found it pretty good. It does feel strange, but it is very effective at releasing tight muscles.

Saw my physio today. Good news, my treatment is now free as it is classed as post natal. Bad news, only thing he can do is manipulate me each week and hope that helps, there isn't any exercises that I can do myself. I am now painkiller free, not by choice, but because they are attacking my liver. Had some very scary liver function test results back last week. Eeek. Actually it's more of an eek for the boys as they are at the mercy of my very low tolerance level. But not BF-ing will mean I can have the good stuff soon.

Gaston - I found morning sickness improved hugely when I cut down on carbs, which of course is exactly what you crave when you have MS. It helped with indigestion later on too.

Books - DH is re-reading some Jasper Ffyorde and I am quite tempted to do the same. Very funny, esp The Eyre Affair if you've ever read Jane Austen. I actually want to read the Twilight series, how's that for low brow!? Has anyone read them?

Stitching - sorry about the jobs. Fingers crossed for good news soon.

LaG - Is your DH commuting ATM or have you moved already? How is it all going?

Mudwiggle - sorry that you've been feeling down, but glad you've got a bit of an action plan. I agree that there's nothing wrong with giving up bf if it's at the expense of your physical and mental well-being. I'm a fully subscribed member to the 'formula is not the work of the devil' club

Thanks for the suggestions on acupuncture - I might look into that.

Books - I've only managed one book this year - 'One Day', which I enjoyed. Well written low brow is definitely my preferred choice at the moment (though I have wolf hall and Tony Blair's autobiography gathering dust on my bedside table). I don't get the chance to read much at the mo, so when I do I want to relax and enjoy it!

at parents evening Gaston - DS had his first when he was about 18 months old, very odd.

Good luck with the job hunting stitching - is it a funny time to be looking in the education sector?

Dh read Tony Blair - I think generally likedit but were some self justifying bits. I loved wolf hall but does take a bit of reading. Also loved the help, villa triste (if you like good thrillers/ history - well written but easy) and the hungry ghosts best thing I have read in ages . Sounds bit Like room as has to read through as uplifting in end.

Mudwiggle - I agree carbs bad as felt a lot less sick last two days (so worrying the lack of symptoms now ) but have also been eating less junk and more regularly .

Sorry about job stitching but will keep fingers crossed- apprentice tonight tho!

Yes I have read twilight . complete tosh but does job as trash. Not as good as Jilly Cooper indla knight Marian Keyes jojo moyes (last letter to your lover or the sheltering rain) or Jessica Ruston for junk tho

Liking all the book suggestions. I'm taking DH to London for a child free weekend belatedly for his birthday next month and looking forward to getting a chance to read a book while we travel first class on the train I quite like Marion Keyes too, but I'm sure I was a bit disappointed in the last book of hers I read and didn't actually finish it.

Not much else happening here - ironing squillions of clothes for DH and DS for our holiday to France (less than two weeks to go!). Now I just have to sort myself out. I hate summer clothes shopping though - I'm far too flabby for most summer stuff and trying on clothes is very depressing . Sadly my budget doesn't stretch to the kind of clothes shops that might have better quality/structure/fit. Gah. It's also a bit of a waste of money buying too many summer things when you live in Scotland .

Hi - I am here but not getting a chance to post. Up to date with thread which is just about all I have read this year.

Will try to post tomorrow

Marking place x

Oh dear I never came back to post. I have two off colour little boys today: coughs and temps. Quite hard work as they seem to take it in turns to have a temp and scream. In the end we bundled them into the car after lunch so that they both slept at the same time. We went on a driving tour of potential new towns so it took an hour and a half and they slept all the way. Better this afternoon but DS2!just woken and feels hot again. At least it's a quiet weekend.

Back soon I promise

Boys both much improved today although I had a shockingly small amount of sleep last night and haven't really caught up today.

So how is everyone?

Hope Moss had a good time in Brighton?

How are you Gaston?

Leo - is the back improved?

Mudwiggle - I haven't responded to your posts, what you wrote is on my mind though. I want to tell you that in the last 7 months I have had some very low days too and have contemplated whether it's PND. Anyway what I wanted to say was that I have found two dcs pretty relentless too, and frequently felt as though i'm not handling it especially well. You aren't on your own.

laguerta glad boys are on the mend . Did you see anywhere likely to relocate to yesterday?
Also sorry both you and mud wiggle have found it tough - I do hope things are getting easier.
Moss- hope you had a nice weekend despite weather ( and Leo). Leo where and when is your holiday again? Its soon isn't it ? And apart from reading what are your plans for London trip.

We did peppa pig world yesterday (good tip moss) which e loved. Then let dh slob out while took e to party this pm. I am seriously worried either that e particularly bad on food (very likely) or that some other people's ideas of kids party food not quite mine. Last party I went to had goats cheese pizza , this one had pasta salad (not wildly popular) , sausages in sesame soy dressing (I liked them but didnt see a single kid eat the,) and then fruit before cake (again I didn't see any kids eat iras wanted cake). Now I can and do force e to eat fruit and veg at home by bribery / coercion (for she is no great veggie if it's not disguised ) but must be going seriously AWOL if others kids will eat it.

On plus side parents were nice (odd party as it's a friend e made via playmates organised by their nannies) - have found some of the nursery mums lovely whereas others could be a whole raft of Aibu on their own.

Oh and feeling lot less sick (and no bleeding for a few days which is good) so paranoia there (having said that I didn't feel anywhere this sick with e) despite fact dead tired and still but sick. Another appt Tuesday so hopefully will be ok.

Sorry about that as I know I will obsess for whole pregnancy and it's very self indulgent

at the party food - it does sound ambitious. Last week we did sandwiches - ham or cheese or marmite, and apparently only the marmite were touched. Plain pizza slices, Crisps, normal cocktail sausages, grapes (my friends idea), cheese and pineapple hedgehog, then fairy cakes,
Chocolate crispy cakes and that was about it.

I think you are fully entitled to obsess. Please obsess away. Good luck for Tuesday.
Back later, must go and fold laundry.

DH ironing so I have a moment.

We drove down to Pulborough, Billingshurst and Storrington in W Sussex. It's very pretty down there. Feels much quieter than here (a good and a bad thing) Storrington seems the nicest but does not have a station and DH still needs to get into London once a week if not more. The more practical area would be round Haywards Heath which we have also briefly driven round a few weeks ago, but on initial impressions doesn't seem as appealing. That may well be irrational though.

Afternoon all. How are the boys today LaGuerta? I hope you find some houses that you like. Has Brighton itself been ruled out (I have no idea, but I guess it's horrifically expensive there these days)?

Am both and at the party food! It sounds a bit try-too-hard/competitive parenting. Lots of Edinburgh mums who would love it I'm sure. I'm going to go with sensible kids party fare similar to that served by La Guerta.

On the subject of parties - do you remember me mentioning my very strange mum friend who randomly comes out with all sorts of rude and thoughtless comments? She was at it again today with various things that I won't bore you all with, but it transpires that she's booked exactly the same party as DS after my DH was talking about it the other week. I guess if she wasn't so odd I wouldn't mind. She might not be able to bring her DD to DS's party though which I was pleased about as she won't be able to steal my ideas and I bet our party will be better

Gaston - you are so allowed to obsess about your pregnancy. Obsess as much as you like! For our London trip we've booked into a hotel rather than stay with friends and I'm taking DH to Fifteen for dinner. I'm also hoping to organise some surprise drinks for him with some of our London pals, but apart from that I'm trying not to over-plan because I'd end up filling the w/e with things that I want to do and it is supposed to be a birthday trip for DH.

Holiday is next week now (yay!) - we're off to the Loire Valley again in France next Tuesday. I cannot wait.

Can I be a bit nosy and ask about 3rd birthday presents? I keep seeing lovely toys that I'd like to get for DS, but I generally try not to buy him stuff outside birthday/christmas time. DH seems to think we should just get him one thing for his birthday (we bought him the duplo fire station) but I think that getting him a few smaller presents too is fine. Is that a bit over-indulgent? I'm thinking of things like books, maybe a game/puzzle and something to go with his kitchen (which he doesn't play with a lot, but I think he might if he had some more accessories).

DS is very quiet so I must go and check on him - big wave to Mudwiggle and Stitching!

Shameful admission: we have bought DS nothing for his birthday he hasnt noticed though.

The party was a week early and 10 days later we still haven't opened all the presents I think he will have about 15-20 presents all together with family too. We are looking out on eBay for some duplo. It's really nice him getting stuff that we wouldn't have thought of.

I think Brighton is ruled out mostly due to expense, but it's a bit trendy for us . It will be nice to be close enough to visit for shopping going out though.

I can send over all the excess silly little presents we have bought DS1 if anyone needs anymore. Seriously, we don't spend a lot of money, but seem to have so much we are actually putting some aside to keep as mini bribes toys for car journeys / potty training / rainy days. I'm only talking about colouring books or toys cars, but it just looked too much when we started wrapping.

Laguerta - That was a lovely message and meant a lot. Thank you. As you may remember I grew up in Sussex. I remember Haywards Heath being very clean and neat, but a little dull? However as that was 15 odd years ago, I'm sure lots has changed. Where is DH based?

It would appear my back problems are caused by BF hormones as well as BF-ing. Whatever the hormone is that makes you all stretchy and bendy when pregnant can stick around when BF-ing. It causes arithitic type pain and shoulder pain. Bizarrely it was the fact that my hair is falling out (I am moulting in mid winter...) that lead to this conclusion. Anyway, down to 2 BF's a day now, huge norks today - looked like I'd had a boob job.

Jealous of your holiday Leo. Curious to find out what fifteen's like. DH and I are planning to go here as soon as we come back, new place www.barbecoa.com/

Oh dear, DS2 calling...

LG, sorry to hear that both the boys have been ill over the weekend and that no one turned up on Saturday . Do you think it's down to your estate agents being shit or was it the weather that put people off?

Have you looked at all in Brighton? Mum reckons you could get a pretty cool pad for half a million . I am soooo jealous of you moving to Sussex - you will love it. And the boys will love growing up near the sea too. Mum and dad looked after the boys on Saturday while I went into Brighton on my own and had a lovely time - it's such a wonderful place for families too, very community minded. Why don't you try starting a thread on MN about your move (in your old name of course ) and get some local knowledge? Or try moneysavingexpert - I found that very useful when moving to Wokingham.

Gaston, glad you DD enjoyed PP World - it really is gorgeous isn't it? I had a good old chuckle at the party food - I think my boys would have definitely turned their noses up at that!! . Hope all goes well today and feel free to spend the next 7-8 months being paranoid, you deserve it .

As for 3rd birthday presents, I am in awe of LG for not buying anything ! I bought far too much duplo (although to be fair most of it was from ebay) and like LG's DS1, mine also became overwhelmed by presents and took days to open them all. We also had gifts given to us by generous friends so all in all he got loads. I definitely need to rein it in next year!

However, one thing I would recommend is this bug barn which was a bit of an impulse buy on Amazon and has gone done a storm, esp the magnifying glass!

Anyway, must get on with my desperate search for work . Hugs to those who need them and waves to everyone else!

Quick post but scan etc ok - so far so good. More worrying ahead I think tho

E is getting bike and bits like books and colouring things for birthday. I don't know what grandma has got her but will be ott may have to go some to surpass the toy guitar nanny gave her...

Glad my food thoughts are not so wildly off beam.

Laguerta sorry to hear about house viewings - that's pants

Glad to hear the scan went well Gaston. Hope you manage not to worry too much. You're allowed though.

LG, I missed that you didn't have any viewings at the weekend. That's so annoying. How does it work down your way? Is it viewings by appointment or open house situations? In Edinburgh the standard is to have open viewings on a Thursday night then on Sunday afternoon. It's a real pain if you spend ages getting ready then no-one shows.

I'll let you know how Fifteen is mudwiggle - maybe you can go when you come home? I hope the back pain eases as you wean off the BF.

Thanks for all the birthday present chat. Am also in awe of not buying anything LG! I clearly have lots in common with Stitching on the present buying . I really should rein it in, but I do like to shop, especially for toys! Madness, I know. My p's bought DS one of those kids cameras - Vtech I think. Terrible picture quality, but he loves playing with it (they gave it to him early so that he could take pictures on holiday).

Stitching, I saw your message on FB re the Festival. I'll have a look at those shows and come back to you. Funnily enough, DS pulled out a Hairy McLairy book at bedtime tonight!

I don't know Sussex at all really, but it sounds nice! Brighton is lovely though, I've been a few times (but for Labour Party conferences so didn't see too much). Nice restaurants and shopping though IIRC. A few old acquaintances live there and it sounds like a nice place to live. Quite liberal as well which would appeal to me.

PP world sounds fab - where is it? All of these toddler friendly places are miles away from me and apart from Legoland not really near anywhere I would visit normally. I really want to try and visit London sometime at a nicer time of the year with DS and fit in a visit to Legoland (and maybe try and catch up with Gaston and anyone else near enough to visit London).

Right, I have to go do some party planning. Am a bit nervous about having enough people there - a few people aren't able to come so am now overly reliant on nursery people who I don't really know. I don't have a particularly wide circle of mum/toddler pals and only keep in touch with one from my NCT group.

Good luck with the job hunting Stitching - is it a good/bad time of year for job hunting in the education sector what with end of term approaching?

Forgot to say 15 fantastic - barbecoa ok but noisy/ bad service