Secret Garden

[BriansMum]

Hope this works, a shiny new thread girls - come on in .

Glad all is well so far Gaston - I hope the next week passes quickly for you.

Hope the viewings go well LaG. Good on you for booking the trip. DS sees both sets of GPs quite regularly as they both live within an hour of here - not sure I'd cope with a holiday with either of them on my own though

DS's first accident (that led to scar on eye) was under DH's watch and I was remarkably calm about it (until I saw the scar anyway) and quite relieved it hadn't been on my watch! You can barely see it now though - keep on with the bio-oil! Finding it difficult to get sight of him face down at the bottom of the stairs out of my head though .

Stitching - I'm a bit prone to a stair-related accident or two myself. I hate visiting old buildings, ruins etc as old stone stairs etc give me the heebie jeebies.

In the nicest possible way, I'm glad you're also getting the 'go away' etc from DD Gaston! I've been at a loss at what to do - will try harder at ignoring, not reacting etc. We're also getting a lot of thumping of fist, 'I don't want to' being screamed at us. I've been finding it hard to ignore though - I guess I've been worrying that he'll think such bad behaviour is acceptable. Last night's 1am tantrum was a real killer - he wanted to go downstairs to play with his dolphin basis and watch tv . I couldn't leave him anywhere to calm down on his own - he was trying to climb over the stairgate at the top of the stairs (a bit too successfully).

On a slightly more amusing note, I think we might need to get him a bigger bed just to accommodate all the toys he's now decided to take to bed with him. In no particular order he now insists on sleeping with rory rabbit, peter rabbit, woody, nemo, teacher, marty the zebra, his new gup A and gup B birthday toys (including Barnacles, Kwazi, shark and fish) and a new addition tonight - as yet unnamed teddy bear that he got when he was a baby. ALL of them require a goodnight kiss and cuddle and if he's in full sleep-avoidance mode they all require having their back patted, ears and tummy tickled and cheeks pinched.

What's everyone up to over the weekend? My dad's 60th and DS's birthday party this week-end so lots to do. Have just spent the evening repairing some Octonauts creatures for DS's birthday cake - someone made them for me but when they were delivered all the limbs had come off. Had lots of problems for some reason getting in touch with the seller after it was all arranged - I haven't been sent payment details yet though so have given up chasing her for them. It's all a bit odd.

Glad DH is looking forward to new job Stitching - it won't affect your holiday plans will it? Very much looking forward to our day in Edinburgh!

Seriously Gaston, it is so so so hard not to drive yourself mad with worry and I'm the last person to lecture anyone else on this cos I did it with both my pgs which is very . I hope the 12 wk scan can offer you some reassurance, although I know that is not the biggest milestone for you. Big hugs x

LG, yay on the holiday! I agree with you about spending what time you can with the GPs. I am especially conscious of my dad who is diabetic - recent tests have shown his diabetes is not responding to meds because he is not following the strict diet he should . His argument is that he is 78 and now is not the time to give up the small pleasures in life (which I can understand) but after one massive heart attack several years ago we are all aware he is living on borrowed time.

I'm afraid that won't extend to spending more time with the ILs though - I see them once a month as it is is and that is more than enough!

Oh yes, E's baby was an eye watering 9lber (give or take!) - what a contrast to her DS1!

Ooh, x-posted with Leo (it is busy here tonight, hope Mudwiggle comes on too when she's up!).

I had to laugh at the bedtime routine - and dying to know what a teacher toy is! DS1 is intrigued by the fact that mummy is a teacher and likes to ask me about it which is very sweet .

I'm a firm believer in the "ignore the bad" school of parenting (within reason!) but agree it is very hard sometimes and I don't always practise what I preach .

Don't worry, no changes on holiday plans - tickets booked, accommodation booked, all done, can't wait!

As for weekend, no plans for tomorrow but big day on Sunday as DS1 is doing his first sponsored walk - 5km through Windsor Park in aid of building a local children's hospice. Shameless link here if anyone fancies a wee donation .

Thanks Leo !

Not hard x-post with me - it was a mammoth post. Perhaps if we all shout 'MUDWIGGLE' at the same time she'll be drawn in...

The teacher toy is Nemo's teacher in the film? Can't remember what the type of fish is called. We went to an aquarium on holiday and DS was desperate to get to the shop at the end because he wanted to buy Nemo with his holiday pennies. He ended up buying teacher too.

Good luck for DS1 tomorrow! Have donated seen as you were so cheeky

Am currently aimlessly surfing the Apple app store - anyone put any good toddler games on their iphone/ipad lately (that are iphone compatible)? We were caught on plane home with a dead battery on the portable dvd player and I realised that I hadn't put any emergency games on my iphone for a while and the ones I had weren't particularly interesting to DS any more.

gaston - pleased all was well this week.

Nothing planned here after a viewing first thing tomorrow. However I have promised DS1 that we will get his beloved train track out of the shed. It's been there since May when we had a declutter when the house went on the market. Poor kid [hblush]. now that DS2 is on the move it would be a disaster to have it out as DS2 would just rip it up and eat it. Other than that we will be playing sleep tag I suspect.

Can I just check that you have all been doing flash cards with your DCs since they were 12 months? My nutty neighbour announced to me today that she has started flashcards with her poor DC who turned one last month. I just about managed to keep a polite interested face and then asked her if she thought he was ready (she thinks he is).

[hhmm] to flashcards at age 1! I don't even do them now (should I be?). We don't do any kind of 'formal' learning at home. Sounds like the kind of thing my DB and SIL would do though. Everything's a learning opportunity for my poor DN. They take sheets into the nursery for them to work on with her. And are furious that she can't start school in September (will turn 4 in Sept). [hconfused]. They do a lot of work with her on her writing which is fine if a child is desperate to write, but it certainly appears to be more parent led...

If DS had been born a few months earlier he'd have ended up going to school a year earlier and at the same time as DN (the cut off dates being completely different in Scotland) - DB rang me once to check that he would definitely be going to school a year later. They like DN 'teaching' DS things. I'm quite relieved they won't go to school at the same time - DB would have been massively competitive (he has a bad case of middle-child syndrome).

Sorry, am blethering on a bit self-indulgently tonight. DH is out and I'm a bit bored!

We're not doing flashcards either. However Pils did send me home with their late 1970 ladybird ones in May that DH had as a child. They have been wittering about them since DS was born. DS really not interested though . Your poor nephew though.

Correction: DS was interested in the flashcards - lining them up to make train track out of!

See, locking away his train set has led to imaginative play. It's educational!

Lol at zoo - we have quite a zoo in bed here too. And a lort of avoidance - agree ignioring best but hard when you are seeing them kick off.

Only flashcards we have are ones you can try to write letters on- e lves them and can make a right mess with the wipeable pen (no real letters but has mania for crayons and colouring now). I think they have worked on letter recognition and learning to recognise their name at pre school but that's as far as it goes. I like her nursery which will support but not push them.

Isn't mud wiggle moving hence her absence?

Toddler games- any by duck duck moose (quite educational as have words andnumbers ones that e loves), Dora ones, Thomas games/ebooks, Disney ebboks, peppa ebooks, tozzle puzzle game. There are more (we had a lot for Australia trip but these are best). Oh and monkey preschool lunchboxx.. For little ones (leo if you want one for ds2 for Hol) the peekaboo barn/ safari ones were good or the baby touch book from ladybird.

Ds2 Gaston? Did I have another baby without noticing?

Thanks for games list though, will check those out!

Sorry meant for ds2 for laguerta

I was thinking you were in cahoots with my SIL who makes constant references to us having a 2nd child . Granted, I'm older than her, but they didn't have DC2 until DN was about 6 or 7!

I'm very cheeky Leo ! We're looking at the weather forlornly today and hoping it improves for tomorrow . We could do without blazing sun but rain is going to make it a pretty miserable event for everyone. Bloody British weather!

at your DB Leo!! Although I am quite disturbed that you have not all been religiously using flashcards since your DC were 12 months old. You realise you have seriously hampered their chances of going to uni don't you?

We have flashcards. They languish in a box in a drawer and their pristine condition beautifully demonstrates how much they have been used! I'm a bit lazy about any kind of educational stuff, partly because as a teacher I'm very aware of the "pushy parent" syndrome (your DB fits in perfectly with his sheets for the nursery staff to work on - met his type !) and partly because I'm aware how easy it is to turn boys off learning (girls less so as they generally tend to me more minded to formal learning) and I'm very conscious of not doing this with my two (saw it with my brothers - one of whom is just about to graduate with a 1st from uni at the age of 37 cos he never worked at school!).

I'm so not looking forward to the competitive parenting at the school gate (and I know how much of it goes on from anecdotes ) - think it will be time to work f/t then and avoid the school run completely .

Hurrah! One Octonauts cake complete. Lets hope no more bits fall off before tomorrow.

Now have to get ready for dad's dinner tonight.

On my DB Stitching - I have loads more stories like that. Every now and then I casually throw in something like 'you know that there have been studies that show whether or not you can read or write before starting school are no indication of academic ability don't you?' Incidentally, my brother is one of the least academic people I know (didn't do A levels or go to Uni) but was talking about if DN could start school this year then could get a gap year in and still go to Uni at age 18. I really want her to be a plumber .

The boys thing and education is interesting and something I will need to remind myself over the years though. DH went to Uni a couple of years late (a bit earlier than your DB mind Stitching ), whereas I was really into school and learning.

Aarrgghhh, thunder and torrential rain just started. Double aarrrgghhhh.

Crumbs, saw an error in my cheeky casual comment for my brother [hblush]

Fingers crossed you get the right weather tomorrow Stitching.

Yes the boys and school one is an interesting one - obviously I would be guilty of making huge generalisations if I was to say that all boys were lazy at school but the move towards coursework and away from exams has been hugely detrimental to a lot of boys as they don't tend to apply themselves to long pieces of writing but can wing an exam and get a good mark!

As a teacher you have to be very aware of different learning styles, which obviously don't always split down gender lines but there are a lot of differences. I often used to split my class into groups along gender lines for subjects such as drama and DT as it helped both genders to thrive in a way they wouldn't necessarily when working with each other (this was Y6 - 10/11 year olds). Some progressive (IMO!) secondary schools now teach a lot of subjects in single sex groups even in co-ed schools - best of both worlds.

Sounds like your DB is trying to achieve vicariously through his DD - I know another dad like this, didn't do well at school but talks as if his 3 yr old is Einstein . Not all children will respond to this well .

Right, off to watch The Kennedys from last night!

So would you consider sending your kids to a single sex school? My preference would be for co-ed, but it obviously depends upon what is available where you end up living.

DS1 poorly today. Woke up all miserable and has had a raging temperature all day. Even the train track wasn't enough for him . hoping he will sleep it off and bounce back in the morning.

Did anyone see hedgehog is in hospital with unidentified abdominal pains? Doesn't sound very nice at all.

Sorry to hear about DS1 LG, hope he's feeling better this morning.

Interesting question about schools - we have the choice here of singe sex or co-ed. Instinctively I would say no to single sex, but our co-ed school is not particularly brilliant so I don't know. The single sex girls' school here is the best in the area but I know if I'd had a daughter I would not have sent her there. I went to girls' school and hated it with a passion - so much so I asked my parents if I could leave when I was 13 and move to the local co-ed comp. However, I have other friends who went to girls' schools and loved them. I don't think it helps that I am the most un-girly girl you could possibly meet - I'm not remotely interested in fashion/make-up/most celebrity gossip/shoes/handbags/the latest diet etc.

I love spending time with my girlfriends but equally enjoy the company of men and the conversations I have with them, in the certain knowledge they will not bring up the latest diet once!!

I would also be concerned about the boys being at a boys' school because they do not have sisters so they would have much lower exposure to girls/women than is normal in society. I would prefer they were brought up with girls so they understood them and respected them as normal people. Not to say that blokes who go to all boys' schools don't do this, but I know when I was at the girls' school we elevated boys to some mythical status because we never saw them!

Anyway, suffice to say I haven't decided what I will do as it all seems such a long way away! And it will also depend on what personalities the boys have then - if they're sporty strong types then they'll be fine at the boys' school, but if they're sensitive poets I might opt for co-ed !

Just read that back and it sounds really anti-women , it wasn't meant to be!

DS1 absolutely fine today strange childhood bugs.

I think I favour co-ed. I went to a school that had been boys but had just let girls in as I started so in a year of 60 there were 13 girls. It was a bit odd for that but like you Stitching lots of my friends were boys rather than girls who were cliquey. DH went to a boys school and didn't like it. Never say never though.

Dd school goes single sex at 5 and we may well send her to somewhere else that in theory goes single sex til 18.
I agree with some of points re socializing with boys . Also not being a big Girly girl (also was in single sex secondary ) . However I think there is a lot to be said for focus and benefits of single sex education (ESP for science). And the increasing pinkish and premature sexualisation of girls make me more in favour of single sex education. That may be as one of enduring benefits of my school (enhanced by my mother) was a sense of pride and confidence in being a girl. It's prob simplistic to say that my sister co Ed didn't give her that (as she isn't lacking in confidence) but I don't think she was nurtured in quite the same way.

Also Dsc both happy and confident with opposite sex despite going to singlesex schools but I suppose they had each other.

Starting to get extremely worried re wednesday and finding out the worst.. Part of it is can see bump and a few people know which takes me back to when had bad scan before. Of course everyone lovely but I hated that people knew and showed sympathy so apologies now for selfish worrying .

Stitching how did walk go (need to sponsor you if not to late) .
Leo any party cake pics? Laguerta glad sickness gone.

Afternoon all. Interesting chat re: single sex schools. I can't say I've ever given it much thought - as far as I'm aware the only single sex schools in our area are the private schools and we definitely won't be sending S to private school. I was offered the chance to go to single sex grammar school type place when I started secondary school - there were many reasons I didn't want to go, but my own teacher did think I might struggle with it a bit. I was quite a sensitive soul and started school when I was 4 so found the social aspect a bit difficult.

Party went well yesterday - will put some pics of the cake up later Gaston. Sorry you're feeling worried about Wed - it's to be expected though (along with well-intentioned cliches ) so worry away on here as much as you like. You're not being selfish at all.

Absolutely shattered today after being non-stop since coming back from the holidays. I need to try and do some meal plans for us because we're in a bit of a rut meal wise and I could do with thinking up some snack alternatives for S. I should go and peruse the recipe section.

I'm not going to try and post anymore because my brain isn't functioning well today!

Hi all, walk went brilliantly thank you Gaston, here's the link . We were so proud of DS1, he walked almost the whole thing with hardly a complaint about being tired - and then found his second wind when he finished and played with all the Alice characters for two hours before we went home . We also met the founder of the charity, who was introduced to us (we did some media promo stuff for the walk so they came to say thank you). That was very humbling - I can't imagine having the strength to do what she has done while mourning my little boy - although I suppose it helps them to feel he didn't die in vain .

Not much news otherwise - knackered after having been to see Neil Diamond last night at the O2 .

Gaston, will you have a more thorough 12 wk scan than normal due to your history or is it the standard one? Thinking of you x