Secret Garden

[BriansMum]

Hope this works, a shiny new thread girls - come on in .

That's awful Stitching! Though reminds of time we were leaving PILs - we're in the car, they're waving us off and MIL shouts 'have you got a clean, ironed shirt for work in the morning?'. We still don't know what she'd have done if he said no

Yes, we have bedtime hell here - it's been particularly bad this week. Last night (on our wedding anniversary) it was around 10pm before WW3 finished. No advice really though, nothing works that well anymore (though sticker charts with a seriously good incentive prized have worked in past). It sort of kicked off again tonight, but we refused to go back up and he stopped crying and shouting out after about half an hour. I think that was sheer exhaustion though. I know that DH and I are both shattered

Hotel sounds lovely Deb. I get a bit of ibs Deb - usually aggravated by stress or an overload of unhealthy living.

Meant to say Stitching - dermalogica (sp? - too tired to check ) is fab. Pricey initially but good sized bottles that last ime. Have you had a dermalogica facial? Can wholeheartedly recommend - they can let you know exactly which products suit. DH has problem skin and had facial/used products which did him wonders. I've fallen into habit of using boots P&P - my DSis works for them so keeps me right on 3 for 2 dates, when £5 off vouchers are issued (and can be redeemed against 3 for 2) and often buys me the huge gift sets at Christmas because she can get amazing discounts at that time of year.

On the subject of the C word (sorry Deb ) I've been reading up on the home made C threads and will be making Christmas Pudding vodka, cinnamon and honey butter and peppermint bark this year!

Random q - what's the consensus on 3yr olds and fireworks? Got an invite to the end of festival fireworks (to watch from vantage point indoors really near the Castle). It'll be a bit late for DS but he's usually ok with that - just worried it might scare him?

LaG - any movement on the house front?

Mudwiggle - yay for one-way fights back to the UK!

Oh, I already yay'd at your flights Mudwiggle. Double hurrah!

Re the ibs, both times we'd eaten out, first time pizzas then the last was pub food - lamb shank, so plain cooking.

no night-time tips here, sorry

just spoken to ds2 at sils, when I asked was he missing us, he replied, ummmm, not really Ethan came on the phone to say he was finding nemo today (going to the deep)

Eating out - my verdict is sometimes even plain stuff can be seasoned more or possibly nit as fresh as might be (without being bad)- sometimes you can just be used to a certain way of eating,

Leo- yes to fireworks. Had an early show last new year and dd loved it- also watching local school sow from home last year. Provided you are close to pick them up if scared (IMHO they usually are fine after first bang) go for it. Need to find a show to take dd this year,

Thanks for sympathy re nightime- was at friends this morning who said her dd whilst doesn't tantrum will resist bedtime St all costs so think it's an age thing. Just got to be consistent re tantrums. And hope dd snapped out of anti dh phase (the irony given it's usually me whom is out of favour and he tells me to ignore it)

Having yet another nightmare bed time. Is it so fucking unreasonable to expect your 3 year old to go to bed at least an hour or two before you. Am seething and the screaming fit happening at the top of the stairs right now 1, 2, 3, 4...

Leo - not u reasonable at all. I bribed dd into bath by letting her play with my make up brushes - would that work for s ....

Thanks Gaston. Sorry for rant. Glad bribing worked for E, usually works with S but not this week (haven't tried make up brushes though ). DH now back from shops and reading a story. Probably not the best idea, but maybe S'S won't get a call from the neighbours. The screaming was unbelievable - you'd think we were torturing him. Contemplating withdrawing toys and tv tomorrow. Am soooooo tired this week with it all.

Sorry, bit self- indulgent. How are you feeling this week?

Aaarrgghhh, still going strong. For tomorrow I'm slithering between putting a cd player in his room and putting a story cd on for him to (hopefully) fall asleep to (he's really into listening to a story cd we got from the library) or locking away all his toys and refusing to let him watch tv until he starts going to bed properly again. Oh, and putting him on ebay.

eBay has costs so may end up down on deal... (joke)

Is he like this every day or are some days worse than others? I know tiredness turns e venomous and despite chats about it she does get more tired on nanny days (longer trips out, shorter naps- have discussed it with nanny but at end of day I can't control what they do entirely and e seems fine when with nanny. It's just bedtime you get he'll).

What does s have to play with in bed? E has princess nightlight/ torch so can look at books (loves noisy books or play with her toys). This has made her less painful to settle (we had phase where would be up and down til usually gone 9 with her when she fell asleep) and I tend go settle her, shut door and stair gate then go downstairs. But that prob not useful as sounds like s kicks off whatever you do. I think your idea of setting up minimal level of toys and story cd a good one then sticking to it, I know everything can be a battle of wills and sounds Like bedtime is s battle (compounded by over tiredness).

Apart from sore neck am good - feeling more human but nervous as 20 week scan on Thursday (big milestone for me). I stopped myself borrowing a book about my little sister from library for e as felt superstitious . With any luck all fine- have had enough checks and all seems ok so far but cant help worrying.

Also there is something about not going to bed and disturbed evening that kills me (maybe cos ifs alwys been worse time for e being more upset right from baby days)... It does make you feel more done in when all you want is a bit of eace in evening.

Well, it was about 10.30 when we got him to sleep and even then we completely relented and brought him downstairs fall asleep on my lap .

Evenings have always been difficult here Gaston, but he tends to go through wee phases as opposed to just one or two things setting him off. This is the worst week for a long time though. He'll get straight out of bed and jump on the gate (it's screwed into the wall but I worry about him knocking it right out of the wall!) and will scream and scream for ages. Lots of 'please mummy, I love you' or 'mummy I want a cuddle' but at a volume a teenager would be impressed by. He was going through a stage of being relatively easy to settle (although it'd still be about 9 o'clock). He has access to different toys etc to play with if he wants to in bed but he's not fussed by them. I've moved our old midi cd player which has been gathering dust in the lounge for years into his bedroom today and will try out some story books at bedtime once lights are out and see if we have any success with that. We're off to the in-laws today and will probably drive back around 7ish so S is likely to fall asleep in the car and we can transfer him to bed when we get in.

I just weep with envy at those parents who get their little ones off to bed around 7/7.30 and actually have an evening. It also makes it really difficult to try and introduce some exercise which I really need to do to boost my energy levels, feel a bit healthier and hopefully lose some weight. I also really, really need to start studying again for my November exams but I'm just beat by 9pm just now.

But, anyway, enough of my woes - I'm glad you're feeling more human. I completely understand why you're nervous about getting to the 20 week scan phase. I hope this week doesn't drag on too long for you. Have you got plenty to distract you over the weekend and into the week?

Hope everyone has a good weekend. My England based brother tells me it's glorious weather down there so I hope you're all enjoying the sunshine. Mudwiggle - is it officially Spring in your part of the world. I'm off to Yorkshire to see DB and SIL next weekend (and their new house) so I'm hoping the sunshine sticks around till then!

Sorry to hear about the bedtime battles. Occasionally DS had a wobble about bedtime but generally it's been early mornings that we struggle with. Ok at the moment but then we all get woken at 6.15 which is when DH gets up for work. Major threats of withdrawal of treats/ rewards, and following through is the only thing that has any cut through. DS's room doesn't have much to play with and he has never been bothered about that anyway. If he doesn't want to be in bed (am or pm) then he will be too busy screaming for play.

Gaston - loads of good wishes for the 20 week scan. Which day is it?

No house news. Buyers' buyers don't even seem to exist right now. Our buyers are thinking of changing agent as they are still keen on the house. Not sure what to make of it .

Leo, sounds like you have used all sorts of tactics, I think the way forward now might have to be toy withdrawal. So,threaten explain to him first, then if he screams and shouts again tonight, take his favourite toy away, then he doesn't get it back unless he manages bedtime tomorrow without screaming and shouting. GOOD LUCK

Gaston, be thinking about you on Thursday

LaG - bugger about the house, we've heard about one coming up which looks ideal from the outside, problem is we don't know the price yet, it's the old rectory, do you think it's worth us starting going to church??

Boys are back from sils and they have had a great time , I did miss them byt it was lovely at the same time. Ethan's speech has come on in the 4 days.

Not-keeping-up! Waves to all.

Quick update - had a much better evening last night! Had a very big chat before bedtime. He did get up once, but before it escalated into a full on drama we had a long chat about how I was going downstairs and it was up to him whether he lied in bed listening to his story book cd or whether he had a big tantrum (and therefore wouldn't get to watch tv). Eventually he chose to go to bed to listen to the cd. Phew. I don't particularly want to set him up with a new bedtime crutch, but if it gets my evenings back I'm past caring!!!

Thanks for all your support and suggestions over the last few days - here's hoping last night wasn't a one off!

sounds great Leo, what a relief. I wouldn't worry about using the cd, I know lots of children who went to sleep listening to music or stories. He might just be a child who doesn't need too much sleep so that quiet time in his bedroom will at least give him time to switch off and relax before he drops off.

waves back to mudwiggle

had 2 extra 11 yr old boys here last night to camp out with S and T. It poured down, and ended up with 2 boys back inside at 11.00 Stefan and another friend lasted the night outside but they look VERY tired this morning. 1st day at secondary for them tomorrow so a big day, must see if stefan can still remember how to tie his tie!Wednesday Tristan starts in the next class up and Ethan starts Nursery at Tristan's school. He's doing 2 full days and half a day. Can't imagine him sitting in the hall with his school dinner

Whether he 'lay' in bed not 'lied' !!!!

How exciting your boys are all off to school . Because DS's pre-school is incorporated into day nursery I find all this school- attached pre-school stuff a bit odd! I'm going to find it very strange when you all ship yours off to school next year!

That sounds promising Leo.

DS1 went back to nursery school this morning . We were both very keen and got there early. So was just about everyone else. Strange that he is now a big one. though at the newbies clinging to mummy with tears in their eyes. I'm lucky that he wasn't like this last year. He is staying for lunch so a get an extra half hour

Back later

Hi all! Leo, so pleased to hear bedtime better - long may it continue. We had a brief spell with DS1 like this but it was when I was pg with DS2 so a long time ago. I honestly have never got so close to committing physical injury on my child , it was soooo stressful.

Deb, your boys are getting so big!

Gaston, what a huge milestone on Thursday - your logical brain knows it will all be fine but you wouldn't be human if you weren't terribly stressed about it given what you have faced before. Big hugs x

LG, DS1 starts pre-school for the first time tomorrow - think it will be me and DS2 shedding the tears though as he is more than ready!

Quick post as I'm on my phone, but just put DS down with zero fuss. At 8 o'clock. Amazing!!! Off to have a cup of tea. Keep your fingers crossed for me

Ooh Leo that's some turnaround.

Good luck for the first day of preschool tomorrow Stitching, (and Deb too). I'm sure you and DS2 will enjoy yourselves really.

House news. I went in to the agents' office in person this morning to tell them we wanted to change agents. They talked me into giving them another 10 days, and they described our "buyers" as being "in the back pocket" i.e. in no position at all with their house sale. Back to the drawing board.

Deb - how did T get on at secondary school?

What's your secret Leo?!!

LG, sorry to hear about your selling woes - estate agents are so unbelievably shit and frustrating stupid to deal with. In a crap market it must be even harder.

wow Leo, well done, and you're only celebrating with a cup of tea?? I think

Hope all new starts go well, Stefan is very nervous about secondary tomorrow, he put his uniform on before and I got a bit tearful, he looked so grown up.(he is almost as tall as me and I'm 5'6 and his feet are bigger already!) When I was a Nursery teacher without children I used to think how silly the Mums were who cried on the 1st day when their children left me and went into "Big school" - Reception, but you know what happened when it was Stefan in his uniform, I was just the same. I'll be even worse this time next year when my baby goes!

Deb hope stefans first day goes well.

Laguerta good for you going to see Estate agent- I do hope things happen soon.

Leo- pleased (and keeping fingers crossed) that s a bit better. Agree that can see no harm in using story cds.

Thanks for all good luck for Thursday- stitching you are right that how I feel and my rationale side at odds. Not helped by nanny again sayimg I am sure it will be ok. Am afraid was fairly short with her (basically spelled out that I vividly remember gayly going to 20 week scan where all went wrong and tha my mindset was unfortunately one of worry and I doubt will stop til have baby...) I felt a bit bad but she has been told nicely by me and dh that I find whole issue stressful so best to say nothing but still does.

I feel mean as seem to moan a lot about her- she is excellent but doesnt think before speaking.

Good luck to preschoolers tomorrow- e looking forward go starting and I am hoping that school will channel her energies a bit