Who is doing a PhD?

[onlymyselftoanswerto1]

I'm just into my second year of my PhD and struggling hugely with motivation and writing - would love to connect with any others feeling the same and perhaps need/want some support and keep each other accountable!

@Burnshersmurfs

My prof doc is pretty much a vocational training course for a professional role. The content is largely taught and work placement and we have a thesis to write by the end of it. It’s funded by a govt bursary (not a great deal, but enough to keep me in beans on toast). It’s 3 years in total with a commitment to work for an additional 2 years for govt services.

Sounds like we did something similar

Tough journey but worth it

Such comforting thread.
I'm studying BA but working full time.
I was feeling lazy so Did not progress with assignments for two weeks and now they're all due plus projects at work have been piled onto me.

Feeling the stress of managing to hand in everything on time, plus self-loathing myself for leaving it so late.

If you’re doing an undergraduate degree, primrosee, you may find this thread even more comforting:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mature_students/4363218-any-other-mature-students-just-started-their-first-year?msgid=111252782

It has taken me 2 weeks to work out how to update my training record. Now I only have to work out how to find the patience to input everything at once, and hope I can work out how to submit it all for project approval

@CrisisManagement it’s good to not be alone! I’m incredibly frustrated to the point of tears today - going for a shower and it can keep (I’m off work this week and thought I’d get lots done haha)

I’m having another wobble today wondering if I actually want this PhD. I don’t think I’m going to need it for my next step as I am
Increasingly convinced I won’t stay in academia and a number of opportunities are floating around at the moment which are making me doubt why I am doing it.
I’ve no plans to quit unless something tangible that I want more arises, but I find myself thinking about this more and more. A year ago I would be distraught at the idea of no more uni or study, now it feels very indulgent and like a bit of a vanity project.

@StColumbofNavron I’m having a huge wobble and ready to quit today. I won’t...but similar to you, I’m now on a different career path than I thought I would take and it’s definitely a vanity project. Also they keep moving the decking goal posts on my programme and I have the utter rage at it. And my literature review remains a disaster.

🍷?

Oh also @Amortentia thank you for Tara branazon - that’s been the only academic bright spot of the week (month?) for me.

@Queenie6655 might see you around- if we haven’t already met

@RJnomore1

Oh also *@Amortentia* thank you for Tara branazon - that’s been the only academic bright spot of the week (month?) for me.

I love her, she’s so calm and positive.

oh yes another prof doc + full-time job here, hopefully heading into the last year if I get off here and do some bloody work but god do I want it over or what.

Hello, can I join you

I am just going into my second year and started out full time and dropped to part time over the summer.

As a result my upgrade was delayed and it's now due next month. That seemed an age away back in the summer... but I am feeling the creep of utter panic and stress as it approaches and I haven't even begun the report.

I feel like a lazy, dim witted fraud most days

@Nordstrom what do you have to write for your upgrade? I just did mine in the summer. I was terrified for mine but honestly it wasn't as bad as I expected. They aren't there to catch you out - they want to know about your research and have a discussion about it and they really do want you to do well. It's easy for me to say not to stress but try not to. You will always get another go at it if it doesn't go great- I kept telling myself that and it took the pressure off a bit. Lean on your supervisor, ask to see the work of others if you can.

You can do this 🙌☘️

Oh I’m glad to have found this thread! I’m like mindy and exceptionally. Lecturer in healthcare and doing a PhD as part of my full time job. In theory we get a day a week off to do it, and my manager and colleagues are very supportive. But we are short staffed and incredibly busy so, you, know…
My biggest struggle is time management. Every week I resolve to do other stuff in a ‘good enough’ way so I can claw back some PhD time, but can’t seem to change my approach to my main role. So end up working over my hours or not fitting PhD in. Every so often I’ll have a quiet patch and ram in a few PhD days, but like others I feel I’m often on the back foot with supervisors. I’m in Year 5, need to finish data collection and start analysis.
Totally understand the people starting to question if it’s a luxury project - having to do it as part of my role is a pressure, but I’m realising reading this that it keeps me motivated too.

Thanks @onlymyselftoanswerto1

It's approx 12k words which I will present in research protocol style (I have no data yet).

Supervisors have been great in sending me some examples (which I have avoided looking at so far as may put the fear of God in me 🙈)

@Nordstrom that sounds similar to mine then as I have no data yet either. Please open those examples as I really think that when you read them you'll see that it's not as unattainable and scary as you think. It's the fear of the unknown. I thought I'd written a whole pile of dross for mine so if you want to see what a bad example looks like I'll happily show you - drop me an email!

(Oh and I do get the fear of opening things - I've had feedback from my supervisor in my inbox for over 2 weeks now and have yet to open it incase they tell my I'm shit!

Oh my goodness, I thought I was the only one who hated opening feedback on submitted work. This is my current timeline:

Days 1 - 3: Procrastinate opening and fret about feedback in inbox
Day 4: Open it. Cry.
Days 5 - 8: Fume. Rant. Tell DH I'm quitting and the whole system sucks. Watch mindless rubbish on Netflix.
Day 9: Write some sarcastic replies to the in-text comments.
Day 10: Delete all the sarcastic replies and get to work on some of the easier changes.
Day 11: Send email to supervisor thanking for feedback.
Day 12+: Get to work making the harder changes.

@CrisisManagement 😆

@onlymyselftoanswerto1 have you opened yours yet?

I had a lovely supervision meeting this morning. This is is because it was only with my primary (who is the least scary and very supportive!).

I now have 2 weeks to knuckle down and get a report draft over. Shit.

@CrisisManagement sounds familiar 🤣 I've threatened to quit so many times over the last year, my OH is so sick of it now!

@Nordstrom nope lol - I might just ignore it forever. Being serious tho I aim to open it tmw. Was meant to have a supervisory meeting today but it didn't happen so we've to reschedule, I'll have to have read the comments by then I think. Glad your meeting went well - I'm strangely less intimidated by my first supervisor than my second aswell - even tho they are both so lovely!

I finally opened my feedback 🤣🤣 only took me a month 🙈and as usual it was nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be (wasn't great tho lol)

How's everyone else getting on?

@EdmontinaDonsAutumnalHues

Yes, I have the doctoral loan from SFE, whats up?

Well … Getting the loan was an option. But working full time at the same time wasn’t really an option, for all sorts of complicated reasons. And I was too impatient and uncertain about the future to do it part time. Cue much wailing and berating of self.

Are you working at the same time?

And (forgive impertinent question) do you perceive any difference in status relative to people funded by an institution?

No, I don't work at the same time, I'm lucky that I don't have to.

As far as a divide of self fee paying/funded, no, I don't experience one. It's not really discussed, unless someone mentions it specifically when they're asking a question or it comes up as part of a contextual conversation. I could only tell you which 'camp' a handful of students fall into, and that's only because they've emailed to ask questions about SFE. Plus, unless you're lab based or similar (I'm not) then you're unlikely to be on campus anyway.

Well I finally submitted my report this morning phew! I've just flopped like a deflated balloon this afternoon and watched daytime tv as a treat 😬

Now just the viva to stress over...