Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone? Part 23

[Monty100]

These threads are finishing faster and faster!

As you were.

Sponge, maybe he doesnt want another her!

Ds was v pleased to see us. Dp was watching ds saying "omg they are going too fast he will tip over!"

I think he was more worried than me,lol

He has gone back to work now,probably to recover

lou - maybe you're right. Have been told apparently he always goes for the wrong sort of girl, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

Lou, bet Ds loved being speed king today. Good luck to your DD Aurora.

Sponge you gave me some advice a while ago well the CJ he said no! So that's great for me and hope that's the end. Sorry to talk in code but think you will know what I'm on about.

I'm in the process of fixing up another blind date.

i put some pics up on fb eve if you fancy a peek

evening all
aurora hope it all goes well for dd and you can come and do your proud mummy bit on here
lou bless that's lovely...glad that sperm donor didn't drag himself along(tho admittedly sad for the kids)as these pretend dads make these events soo awful
sponge good to see you back on thread,i know what you mean about a type as let's face it we're all guilty of it
are you hearing this from him or his friends?
eve you are such a dark horse at times and v cryptic too
is this the fella from pof who you exchanged a few messages with?

He is someone who sent me messages yesterday. Is new to the area and lives around 8 miles away. Nothing concrete fixed up yet. Watch this space. Will have a peek on fb.

eve you are a minx

well i did consider asking their "father" if he wanted to go, but thought sod it, he is meant to know what is going on and supposedly gets their newsletters, so its up to him to make an effort

aside from that dp would be sitting there getting more and more irate thinking how little he does for the kids, and sitting on his hands trying not to thump him

and aside from that so would i

AND on top of that, he is meant to be having dd1 for a while on sunday, and he sent me a text saying he was going to call her last night

did he fuck

i do hope this last desperate measure by me will make her see that her life could be a lot worse here, and a lot happier if she changed certain behavioural issues

though if she cant do that i have told her i do not want her back

atm she is pulling all the stops out, but i know it is most likely her usual temporary behaviour, so i will not back down about her going to her father for a while

though i will have to go get her from him on weds am, as we finally got an appointment for her with the local mental health team (they called today), and i know her father will claim inability to take her there, and she doesnt know where it is

i will try and put a pic of ds2 at his sports day on my profile in a bit, for anyone who isnt on my fb

oh shit lou

i just hope it helps, because i am at a loss as how to proceed forwards with her atm

i dont want to go into too much detail on here tho, but she is having a detrimental effect on the entire family, and whilst i love her v much i dont like her right now iyswim

obviously i want to help her as much as i can , and have done, but i cant do it alone, so fingers crossed this outside source will do her some good

yes i understand that you can't go into too much detail on here
i do hope that outside help will work for her
without wishing to sound typically negative i am fully expecting that the relationship with her dad will be discussed at some length

oh i am sure it will be

anyway the pic of ds2 at sports day is finally up on my profile

Lou - sorry to hear about dd1 . I hope she can get sorted.
Exh's have so much to answer for. I never tell exh much about what's going on either, or if I do, I don't remind him and he never remembers etc.
Sounds as though ds had great fun today. . Will have a look at pics.

Sponge - agree with who said perhaps that's why wedding man isn't with her.

ASBM - good to see you. Hope all is well.

Eve - have you arranged the date?

Aurora - how are you??

Ninah - when do you finish work?

Vee tired here and looking forward to the weekend to get some sleep. I've been waking up at silly o'clock for weeks, ie 4/5am and getting little sleep after. The rain wakes me up, the cats wake me up, the dawn wakes me up, the aeroplanes wake me up, the birds wake me up, a bee the size of bird in my room the other morning woke me up.

I slept in this morning and got to work half hour late! Didn't even have any wine last night as my excuse.

Agree Lou about who will be mentioned at the appointment. Went through it with DD a few years ago. They tell them it's not their faults. I do think things would be worse if these useless fathers had actually brought them up though.

My 'date' seems to have disappeared atm.

Morning all

Lol at my vee tired post last night. Feeling slightly better today.

Eve - had you not arranged anything with 'date' yet?

'Absent' fathers have so much to answer for.

oh crap your dd as well eve
i'm so bloody angry atm with hearing all these stories about the damage that's being done to kids by the behaviour of their so-called dads
i think that they do feel v torn as after all it's their dad but they are aware that what dad is doing is wrong and they somehow blame themselves for it
ds1 is really struggling with his relationship with his dad and has asked me if he can speak to someone for help

ASBM - sorry for DS1 and all of our dc's suffering because of their df's.

We probably don't know the half of what goes on in the minds of our dc's.

ASBM - at Secondary (I know that's a bit of a wait) there might be some support there.

ohh monty its broken me tbh
really do feel for gillybean too as she's in the same shitty situ as me
i could be wrong here but i think it hits you worse as a LP as you feel so utterly helpless and life is already a huge struggle doing it solo
eve any word yet?

for all our DC who are struggling.

DS1 has always had to deal with loads of crap from my prat of an Ex, even when we were together, and I do think that a lot of his weight/other issues are down to Ex (who often puts him down and has never really encouraged or supported him at
anything ) Earlier this week he went round to Ex's after school, and Ex then refused to give him a lift home as he was 'busy'. DS had to get the bus home instead. Ex does this refusing to give him lifts thing all the time (he used to do it constantly to me as well) yet DS1 still keeps giving him another chance. Is v

feeling slightly more positive re wedding man thanks partly to some kind comments on my fb but also because I am clever, and funny, and financially independent, and can cook, and really he would be lucky to have me! Plus he has v little money so certainly cant support a WAG

Hi all,

I totally understand the effect exes can have on the kids. MY DS2 has been really unhappy recently

I have an interesting dilemma in relation to kids atm. We are off out this weekend. Traveller has offered to take them climbing and meet up with us all. My kids are mad keen climbers, BUT it will either be a fab fun day out for us all, or if not I suspect he might run for the hills and we will never see him again

Am nervous about going, kids know he is a friend and are used to meeting friends of mine they dont know so it shouldnt be an issue with them. But it will definately be make or break for me!!!

sponge fighting talk and good to hear!!
more shitty stories about emotionally abused kids tho
elasta fwiw i think that you'll be fine as the dcs and him already share common ground
it's def a good idea to have him introduced as mum's friend tho
i would imagine that they'll just absolutely love having a nice bloke spending some quality blokey time with them,boys thrive on this as i'm sure that lou will agree with me
i think the huge mistake that their dads make is to try and buy them off with gadgets and toys etc when all they really want is to be off and out having fun
young boys are simple creatures i've found

elasta - agree with asbm, am sure the DC will enjoy the climbing, look forward to hearing all about it next week

my DC have already met wedding man when he's been round at the house doing stuff. They've told me they like him cos he's funny and makes me laugh which is not something their father could ever be accused of!

Thanks for making me feel better. I do think it is better they meet before anything gets serious as his attitude to my kids could definately be a deal breaker for me. But he has offered to take them out without me suggesting anything and I think he is genuinely interested to se what they are like as he doesnt have kids of his own!

Am sure it will raise questions from ex though. Your point about activities is a good one. My ex even ended up taking them climbing last week as they were desperate to go and he was tunned at how good they were. He cant climb though - but I can

elasta the fact that he doesn't have his own kids makes it even better ime
far easier for the kids to accept him and if they're anything like my lot then they prob wouldn't want to share you
iirc i think it's only betty who hasn't had probs with blending families i remember that ninah had a dreadful time with xp's sullen son