absent father

[dct]

dd1s father has nothing to do with her. Recently she has started to ask me to ring him and ask him to come and see her, in her words "he might say he will think about it"

I dont know what to do or say to her. I dont want to contact him because the most likely out come is that he will turn up once drunk, make promises about doing something with her then that will be that.

We recently moved house so neither he or his family know where we live and they dont have a phone number for me. His parents have only ever visited twice, both times when she was under 2. Do you think it would be worth writing them a letter giving them my phone number and making it clear (again) that even if he chooses not to see her they are always welcome? I dont think they would bother tbh.

I hate this.

Write the letter, but don't let dd1 know you are doing it. That way if there is no response she need not feel rejected all over again. If there is a response and she gets some contact with her father or his family, that will be a plus for her. Won't it?

leave well alone now that you have moved.start afresh and just get on with your lives. from what you have said if he finds out your new address he will only bring more unwanted heartache.turning up with empty drunken promises yet again. its no good for your child and no good for you emotionally.don,t let centament cloud your judgement its an emotion that makes us open to this nonsense. a child should never have in her head that he might say he will think about it? when asking him to come and see her. its a lazy childish copout on his part.i know you hate this but you have to be strong for the both of you.