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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Did you revert to your maiden name?

15 replies

needtomoveon · 28/05/2010 10:13

I took X's name on marriage and have been idly wondering about changing it back. I don't want to change the DCs because I think it would be too confusing for them. I was surprised how quick and easy it is to do. TBH I have got more than enough on my plate right now with kids, work, divorce etc to do this and I think it would be a royal pita changing everything but it is something I have considered for the longer term and just wondered what other people had done. Did you change it back and did you regret doing it (different surname from DCs for example)

OP posts:

schmontilidrop · 28/05/2010 10:22

nope. wont either.
Only for the different surname to dcs reason.

Plus really. its my name now. would see odd going backwards to maiden name.

brightwell · 28/05/2010 11:29

No, I kept it to be the same as dc.

Leslaki · 28/05/2010 20:55

I really really want to change mine - and double barrell the dc (married name is horrible - and dc likely to get teased for it) but ex won't let me officially double barrell their names. I SO want to change mine, but again, don't want to be different from the dc. I am considering letting them be known by my maiden name as we are moving away (VVVVV long story and ex has driven us to it so I'm not being a bitch) and officially changing mine! It all seems a nightmare!

aseriouslyblondemoment · 28/05/2010 21:18

sorry for hijack here op
but leslaki it's good to see you back on MN and how the devil are you?!
i've missed you and your threads..time to start another one lady..wishing you and the kids all the best x
op i haven't because of the dcs and the q's that would no doubt be asked but i do have another divorced friend who did

whitetulips · 28/05/2010 21:59

I am going to change mine back despite 17 years of marriage. There will be another mrs same name as soon as the divorce is through, and I want nothing to do with it. Can't work out whether to do it by deed poll or not, I am not sure if I have to or if I just start using old name again.
My dc are ok with the change,but they are teenagers.

TinyPawz · 28/05/2010 22:08

I changed mine and DD name to my maiden name by deed poll....

WheresMyWaistGone · 28/05/2010 22:09

I really want to go back to my maiden name but unless ex husband will agree to double barrel ds's I won't. Then I would enrol him for everything as just my maiden name!

But it would give ds 3 first names and a double barrel surname...seems a bit much!

Original poster

needtomoveon · 28/05/2010 22:11

Hmmm - my DCs are little and I think changing their names would just pile on more crap (and I doubt X would consent). But, we have an unusual surname and I hate the thought of people making a connection between us once the divorce comes thru (in professional situations, I mean). I know lots of happily married women who kept their names but their DCs got the Dad's name so it's not that weird. I don't think I'll do anything yet because I am still seething with the duplicitous bastard over his behaviour during our marriage and I need to cool off before I do anything permanent, but I think it is a good idea maybe in a year or so. I don't see it as going backwards but maybe reclaiming a part of "me" that he tried to erase with lies and deceipt - probably all a bit symbolic but then names do matter. Oooh sorry, gone a bit deep here.

OP posts:

without · 29/05/2010 10:32

Once my youngest has left school I'll change mine - probably be D-B with maiden-married names so I keep the connection with my kids.

Tanga · 29/05/2010 19:39

I thought about it but it seemed like too much hassle plus my maiden name was awful and I really liked my married name (shallow, moi?) eventually when I got remarried I had a different name to DD but it never bothered me.

Also I'm not sure it's legal to change a child's name without the consent of all those with PR, including by usage.

Fruitysunshine · 29/05/2010 19:41

After I got divorced I changed my back to my maiden name as I wanted no connection with my EXh at all. I was divorcing him, why retain his name? My DD still kept her surname as it was a legal obligation but for me personally, it had to go.

Leslaki · 29/05/2010 21:34

waves to asbm!!! not been around for ages as loads of stress!!! How are you? Sorry for hijack!!!

smokinaces · 29/05/2010 21:42

I still havent fully decided. I like having the same name as my kids, but dont want to be known as Mrs x. Maybe I'll just revert to Ms x and then it doesnt seem like I'm married.

I changed my surname on facebook to my maiden one. and am thinking about changing it at work. But for everything else I think I will stick with the married name until the kids are older or I remarry (ha ha ever hopeful!!)

lilac21 · 01/06/2010 07:37

I changed mine by deed poll before I even moved out. Haven't applied for divorce yet, but I am seeing a solicitor tomorrow to get the process started. My last name is now different from my daughters, but they are old enough to make sense of it. Ex had the most common surname in the country and I am glad to be rid of it! It was a hassle changing bank accounts etc but worth it, did the deed poll online and it cost about £45.

elastamum · 01/06/2010 08:01

I never took my husbands name when I married and have always had a different surname to my DC. I did this because I was well known professionally and wanted to keep that. Im pleased I did as after we split I had t pick up my career to support eveyone. I always carry birth certificates when we ravel and have only once had a problem with UK immigration asking if the kids where mine

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