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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Single parent at 19..

12 replies

sarahcoyne · 06/03/2010 23:25

I am 19 years old. I was with someone for a couple of months before i fell pregnant (17 years old). My little girl is 1 now and have been a single Mum since the second i found out as the father wanted nothing to do with my baby. I love being a single parent as i get to give her loads of attention and do things the way i want. But on the other hand, it does get extremely hard sometimes and very tiring. I have my Mam around who helps out and has her on a Friday. I do wish she had a father though. Next time i have a child i will definitely make sure i'm in a stable relationship, and am financially in a better position. Anyone else in the same position?

Sarah

OP posts:

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cordonbleugh · 06/03/2010 23:40

Hi sarah, same situation here! Was with DD's sperm donor father for a very short time, and actually split up before I found out I was pregnant. Then discovered that the girl he had been cheating on me with was pregnant too! He's since gone on to father at least 3 other children who as far as I know, he takes no responsibility for!

I'd much prefer to be a single parent than have any input from him! I love DD sooo much, and so proud of her.

Same as you, I want more children, but next time I will be in a stable relationship, and not relying on benefits! Will get my degree out of the way first though, then when I get a full time job hopefully I'll be able to meet someone decent!

sb6699 · 06/03/2010 23:51

I was 19 when I fell pregnant with my now 11yo DS.

I was actually very comfortable with being a single parent (I had my own home, managed to get a decent part-time job, etc) and had actually decided come to the conclusion I didnt really want another serious relationship. I do admit that I could have done with the occassional break and that financially I always seemed to be juggling to make ends meet.

Funnily enough I met my now DH when DS was only 9mo and got married when he was 3. We are really happy and now have 2 DD's as well.

Original poster

sarahcoyne · 14/03/2010 01:34

cordonbleugh

I there's fair too many men get away with having kids and not having any responsibility.

The boy i was with already had a child who he never see's, now he doesn't see Grace and he's now got a fiancee and she's pregnant

It's a joke.

Glad you're happy and well done for making the decision for future children.

sb6699

It's so lovely to hear a nice story like that, i'm glad things worked out well for you and that you're so happy.

SARAH X

OP posts:

FalafelAtYourFeet · 14/03/2010 01:46

Sarah- can I just suggest you change your username/hide your childs details, you would very easy to identify on here from the details you have given, and its easy to think you're anonymous but mumsnet posts appear in google.

cherryflavourkisses09 · 14/03/2010 22:51

Thanks for the advice, i have now changed my info. Hopefully i did it properly and got rid of all the important bits. Should of thought really.

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/03/2010 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Katy86 · 15/03/2010 15:19

I had my daughter when i was 19 (she is 4 now) and her dad left when she was 8 months....i always said id never have another baby unless i was in a stable relationship and better off fiancially..but here i am pregnant again this time i thought i was in a loving stable relationship and i thought i would be with hi for the rest of my life. We had discussed children and decided we would start trying next year but i fell pregnant beginning of january. He ran a mile or so..so now im on my own again but i feel alot more secure and alot more ready than i did last time and i think ill do fine on my own...It would be nice if he had stuck around but at least i saw the real him now...good luck to everyone with their kiddies...Love them and do the best you can do xxx

GetOrfMoiLand · 15/03/2010 15:25

I was 17 when I had dd and she was 3 months when her father buggered off with another woman. Couple of weeks later went to work full time to pay the bills.

She is 14 now and she has been a dream. She was born in a good mood and is a lovely, brilliant girl and I am so happy with her. I was single for a long time as to be honest it worked out better that way - after work I could dedicate all my time to her without having to worry about a man.

I am now in a long term steady relationship where we all live together - DD gets on brilliantly with DP. I have been very lucky all told.

Katy86 · 15/03/2010 15:28

these are all lovely stories! All children deserve fathers but its nice to see all you women not relying on these men who arnt worth it...wish you all happiness

tappietoes · 16/04/2010 11:55

these messages have made me relise what sort of position i have been put in, ive been a single mum for over a year now and have found it hard as the father of my 3yr old walked out suddenly, i thought this situation was only happening to me and asking myself questions y me?? what have we done to deserve this??, but reading these comments has made me overwhelmed. made me realise that i donot need a man in my life and i just want to concentrate on my son and all the good things to come along. it is hard and tiring, but think of everyday as if it was my last and its greeat. i dot regret anything. thankyou laydees

BertieBotts · 16/04/2010 12:09

Hi Sarah, I am 21, been on my own with DS (18 months) for about 5 months now.

I am quite enjoying being single with him because it means I get to make all the decisions, and we have a lovely relationship, but I do find it hard doing everything on my own. I am lucky that my DS' father has him two afternoons at the weekend so I get a bit of time off as well.

When I first left XP I was feeling quite broody, I don't know why! Just feeling sad that DS wouldn't have a brother or sister close in age I think, but now I am quite happy to wait - It is important to me that I am in a secure loving relationship before I have another child because I feel like I have failed DS a bit by picking him a father like he has got.

nappyaddict · 17/04/2010 01:12

Sarah I have exactly the same story as you. Fell pregnant with DS at 17 after seeing someone for a couple of months. He buggered off as soon as he found out and hasn't clapped eyes on DS since. He pays next to no maintenance (the off £5 here and there) cos he works in a hotel abroad so his wages are quite rubbish as he gets board and food free so that in effect is his wages as well but the CSA don't have a category for that They say they have to give parents so much to live off before they take a percentage off for maintenance which is fair enough except for he has no outgoings cos it's all paid for by his work! Sorry rant over!

Is anyone on FB? If so would be good to chat to some of you on there. Also I am arranging a single parents holiday if anyone is interested?

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