So I met this man on a dating website, and he told me that he is a Phd, but I have just googled him

[nighbynight]

and he's not, in fact he doesn't seem to have a degree at all.
Actually, he is interesting, but the lie kind of puts me off. Doesnt he realise that any genuine phd is traceable on t'internet??

heyho, just an everyday story of internet dating.

You have too much spare time on your hands.

you mean after I get home from my full time job and get my 4 children off to bed?

is that your diagnosis for every lone parent who is looking for love? that they have too much time on their hands?

I met a guy who claimed to be 26. Found out via net he was 34 and had a secret daughter. Neither would bother me - the lie did. I would ask him and see what he says.

display, that's a bit harsh! perfectly sensible in this day and age to google someone and check out their background before embarking on a potential relationship.

night, yes, the lie would put me off too. he's either a bit of a fantasist or just trying to stand out from the crowd on the dating site.

nighbynight it would put me off too.
An ex of mine forgot to mention for the first 4 months of our relationship that he was just newly divorced, we stayed together for 2 years and he would 'forget' to tell me things often, it made it hard to trust him and would leave me wondering what else he was keeping from me.

No offence intended but if you didn't think what he said rang true, then I would trust your instincts and instead of trawling google to see if someone is telling the truth, spend the time looking for an alternative date instead

I agree that if hes lied about this what else has he lied about. But would ask first could be some comolicated explanation that he can prove (eg different name?! - clutching at straws)

He works in a place where he is surrounded by highly qualified people, so I guess thats why. His bad luck that he picked a subject that I happen to know a bit about, I was going to look up his research papers. Shame, as he has done some other interesting things, that I also found.

tbh, I would never date anyone without googling them first now!

display, I was not googling him for any reason other than curiosity - was not suspiciously checking up on him, if thats what you are implying.

Well it depends really.

My cousin has a PhD (gained nearly 3 years ago) and still works in medical research but she doesn't come up on google as having one apart from references to research she did whilst still working towards her qualifications. Google isn't the be all and end all you know.

Well, he works for a public body, and is listed in their literature, complete with job title. everyone else with academic qualifications has got them listed by their names. And he does speak execrable french, with the career and background he claims, he would def speak better french.

Not all PhD people publish their articles in internet, you only get to find those sources when they are so successful other people start quoting them.

he is listed as having a non-graduate job, in the official report of his workplace.

And beware of google, I have a friend whose husband is all over the internet, very successful researcher. The only thing that internet doesn't tell you about him is that he is a very violent man, that turns from lovely to agressive in a second.

I have got Lundy Bancroft to tell me that

Well well, you can be working as gardner even holding a PhD in nuclear physics, actually, I think I remember a yoga teacher who had a phd in economics from Cambridge. Never used it.

yes, but in a place where most of the staff are Phds?

But I have academic qualifications and don't list them. It think it's a bit wanky to be honest - unless you are publishing or whatever. A small minority of my colleagues choose to publicise that they have more letters after their name in their email signature or on their business cards than you'd believe and it's just not necessary.

Our colleagues and other parts of the department/business know that where we work we have to be appropriately qualified. I have eight letters after my name but I don't use them because I don't need to. Yes I will roll them out if my expertise is ever questioned but you'd never find on google that I have them.

he is listed as having a non-graduate job title. Separately, all the phds are listed, with their qualifications and job titles.

I dont bother with academic qualifications either, but this is in germany, where nobody doesnt list their phd or degree!
I even had to dig out my degree certificate and send it to the tax office.

You seem to have made your mind about it, let it go, don't date him, end of

Well maybe he is pulling your plonker. Is it possible that his PhD is only recent and he hasn't gone through the graduation ceremony etc? Could be that he knows he's got it but they won't update the website until he's formally graduated? From what I understand it can be months between getting the nod that you've passed to formally graduating.

A long shot maybe. Perhaps he is just trying to 'big himself up' and has an inferiority complex? Very sad if so. If you have serious doubts you might just have to ask him.

The lie would bother me too. You have to kiss a lot of frogs...

The lie would be a deal breaker for me. Ask him outright if he actually has a phd and see what he says.

The whole internet dating thing is so hard isn't it. There are so many weirdos out there. Good idea about using google. You are right to check him out and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I have a tendency to agree that if he has lied about that, then what else is he lieing about? Tread careful.

But I also agree that google isn't the be all and end all.