Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (pt 17)

[Remotew]

Has no-one beaten me to it yet?

Juicy sounding good.

WG old friend is worth seeing again.

Second not to arrange a meet up without me. Maybe down south in May.

my point exactly ...

anyway, am thinking of sending this to birdman - and I know all the reasons against, have to put them against the fact he's one of the few blokes I have come across on line that a) I find attractive and b) his profile and journal stuff make me laugh ... so

"And there was me thinking you'd been eaten by yetis ... or lost in the Barnet Triangle (not quite as well known as the Bermuda Triangle and tends only to affect abandoned supermarket trolleys and the odd pedestrian rather than planes but mysterious nonetheless ...)

So how have you been - and are we ever going to go for a drink?"

Too desperate (probably) or should I just call a spade a bloody shovel and ask him out point blank?

Salesman did comment about his night out last night and mentioned working today and the drinking didn't help. Maybe he did find it scary having dinner with us but honestly you try and do something nice and they turn you down. Tut tut.

Kdk, this birdman is obviously intriguing you so you haven't got anything to lose by approaching him and being direct. At least you will know. I would say if he is not messaging you he isn't fussed but you can always prove me wrong.

kdk - or possibly birdman is in early stages of seeing someone else and doesn't want to dismiss you as his current thing may not work out and then he would like a date with you. this isn't really awful. but would be better if he was upfront. but... it is better than him dating you and then he's dating more than one woman at a time.

i would leave it and see if he contacts again. he's obviously keen to check your still available

eve - yeah. you did think of something nice.

but it would be V V scarey early on i think. and... did you give him much notice? when did you ask him?

i get impression salesman wants to date you a while first as a lovely lady!! not thrown straight in to family scenarios.. which are nice and lovely. but he's right to be keeping a little distance till he is further down the line.

its not a bad thing

Juice, time will tell, he may have got scared or could be that he got a better offer. I'm not that keen on rushing into anything either tbh.

I just wanted to see him because I like him. Going to start playing it a bit cool now after this. No more dinner invites.

Kdk did you send the message?

Not yet ... but think I will ... I'm just getting fed up with the whole playing peekaboo thing ... think I'd rather just send him a message, if he doesn't respond then fuck him - he smokes anyway which is a big minus point for me ... and if he does reply then great. Not exactly got a lot to lose either way have I? I mean we're both on a dating site, we've both rated each other highly, contacted each other ... just seems a bit of a waste of potential ...

Think if there was any other potentials on the horizon it would be different but at the moment, not even really spotted anyone I particularly wish would contact me.

Hello all have been really busy this weekend - nothing very exciting though usual stuff.

Didn't meet my RL friend yesterday afternoon as she was too snowed under with work - she's a teacher so will prob meet half term week.

exbf blew me out too - he's ill apparently with manflu - sent a text with three sorrys in it . As I said to him it will keep.

Either way I relished the few hours without the dcs - looking round the shops in an unhurried way and watching TV in a calm manner with no warring kids or drowing under rubbish.

Eve - it must be disappointing but think I agree that it might be too soon for Sunday roast.

Oh and the gardener still texting - I told him prob couldn't see him for a couple of weeks but he has gone back to the generic texts of - thinking of you love the gardener. not sure how you can be thinking of someone you don't even know. He's just not got enough oomph for my liking. There's no momentum there.

Scl, probably best not to raise hopes with the gardener if the vibes aren't there best to go with your instincts. I blew a few out before meeting when I tried internet dating when it didn't feel right.

hi all, hope everyone had a good (if bloody cold, certainly where I am in the SE!)weekend

just catching up on what I've missed....

juice - sounds like you have a soft spot for forces man, despite you still texting irish - get back to sitting on those hands!

eve- I think the roast may have been too soon, but its hard isnt it when you like someone and naturally want to spend time with them...

kdk - am disappointed in match man am not sure i would bother replying to that email either - but i would message birdman if i was you,you have nothing to lose.

scl- gardener sounds a bit like a guy my friend met online. he was sending texts saying he missed her etc before he even met her - then when they did go on a few dates, he made practically no effort..and forgot her birthday (not even a text or a call). id probably give him a miss - i think sometimes these guys are more interested in the idea of a relationship than in actually having one!

as for me, had a date last night which I think went quite well. He asked if I wanted to see him again (I said yes) He is a nice man, seems to have a lot of integrity, which is something I like in a man (Ex had/has none)however I told him a few things about my Ex which I think I shouldnt have (to be fair not the really bad stuff), just feel I may have given the impression of myself as someone with excess baggage

anyway, we agreed to text each other last night when we got home (which we did) now should I wait for him to contact me? and when should he be calling/texting me...?

hatesponge - what kinda thing did you tell him? he's obviously not put off since it was him asking for another date?

Hi sponge - wouldn't worry - if he had been put off, he wouldn't have asked if you wanted to see him again. I'm always amazed by the no baggage thing - let's face it, anyone over the age of 20 has got some baggage - unless they've been living in a vacuum.

Leave it a couple of days, then if you haven't heard, text and ask if he fancies a drink/meal whatever - just say you're finalising your plans for the weekend and want to know if he'd like to be included ....

Have to say I too am disappointed in man from match but there you go ... haven't yet messaged birdman, still hoping that maybe he'll take the initiative ...

sponge glad you had a good time
i'd def.leave it to him to do the contacting

lou - where are you? i think we are getting fascinators for your wedding first? your obviously very busy with bf???

belle - have you still got laptops at nans?

juice - i told him (this is quite bad) about hw my ex used to put me down a lot, and gave an example of something he used to say to me. I also told him (god, why did I say all this!) about Ex having a scrap with some guy I vaguely knew once cos he didnt like the way he was talking to me At the time my date didnt seem horrified, just said Ex sounds like a right tosser - which is a pretty fair assessment.

The more i think about this am convinced I've said FAR too much. hope i havent ruined any chance i might have had. hwever havent heard a peep from him today, although i have managed to resist contacting him myself which is at least some small comfort.....

sponge well done for sitting on your hands!

asbm - i shouldnt have told him all that though should I? Wish I could stop myself from saying all this stuff!

tbh it's best not to mention exs on 1st dates but hey we're all guilty of it
i went on a date around this time last year(juicy will remember this one!)and despite my best efforts not to mention my ex the bugger kept on texting me as he obv.had the children so i couldn't turn my phone off!
he wasn't best impressed
but saying that it was him who banged on about it and not me
and also he was far from complimentary about his estranged wife
needless to say i didn't see him again nor did he ask me..
anyhow don't fret yet just chill out and resist the urge to contact him
if he's interested he'll be in touch prob.tomorrow i'd say

still nothing...asbm, I dont normally say much about my Ex, but he asked me directly why we split up (I said we didnt get on, then he asked why, etc etc - I didnt just throw it into the conversation.

Am quite because i did think after the last two disasters this one was different & had the potential at least for a few dates....

Sponge - firstly don't beat yourself up - after all he asked so must have been interested in knowing to a certain extent at least ...

and secondly, it's only been a day or two ... don't write it off yet!

agree with kdk sponge
don't worry yet it's early days
few blokes arrange dates there and then

I know, I'm being over demanding! I think its just if I'm going to be disappointed I'd rather get it out of the way than drag it out, iyswim...

am going to leave it til at least tomorrow, maybe weds, and text him them if I havent heard anything before then.

and if hes not interested, then its his loss I suppose.

Sending some big hugs and some resolve-stiffener - believe me Sponge, I feel your pain - I've come very close to messaging birdman but have so far resisted - one day at a time okay? At least you've met him and like you said, if nothing else happens, it's his loss ...

Hello again ladies

I made the ultimate mistake. I tried to start up something with a guy, let him get into my head and maybe my heart a little and he squishes it! Was a totaly D**K last night for no apparent reason!
Anyway, afterwards I ended up really happy strangely enough. I decided I am happy alone and doing what I am doing. Another lesson learned.

Tips on how to avoid this again gratefully recieved

OK - against my better instincts and the advice of nearly everyone - have messaged birdman - now off to hide my head in shame and join ranks of truly desperate who have not yet but may in future resort to bunny boiling ... and I should be getting on with writing an essay ...

hope everyone's well - and where is Lou - missing believed eloped???

melted - there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a chance an being open.

yes... its true you will get hurt if it doesn't work out. but how will you ever know if you dont try with full 100% effort. holding back out of fear is a bad thing. it's ok to be cautious.. but dont hold back on giving your all in future again.

and...... it's absolutely fantastic when you reach the point where you say

"i like being single and really enjoy my company"

when you get to this stage.... you truly are in a good state mentally to get into a relationship if you find one.

previous to this moment of realisation... you aren't really ready for relationship... if still trying to cling onto co-dependancy as you haven't learnt to swim on your own with your head above water as a singleton.

kdk - nothing lost with birdman. did you send general chit chat or bite the bullet and ask for date?

said it was funny he popped as having looked at my profile as had been wondering where he was/had he been eaten by yetis etc. Asked how he was and ... were we ever going to go for that drink

but agree wholeheartedly with you re single status and enjoying it ...