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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

How do I meet other single mums locally?

22 replies

lilac21 · 06/01/2010 14:37

I have lots of friends in couples, but my family are miles away. I work full time and don't know anyone in the neighbourhood I will shortly be moving to. I want to make new friends there, but I really would like some of them to be in the same situation as me. Any ideas?

OP posts:
chubbasmum · 06/01/2010 16:16

when you get there have a word with the health visitor she might know places you can go for coffee mornings to meet other single mums or the leisure centre they usually run little groups and some churches run little groups as well hope ive given you helpful ideas i was in the same boat as you i have met a few people that way goodluck

kdk · 06/01/2010 17:01

Whereabouts are you lilac21 - have you checked your local mumsnet to see if there's any meetups - or try and organise one yourself. How old are your kid(s) - try playgroups etc if they're suitable sort of age - be a rare playgroup that didn't have any single parents these days.

Original poster
lilac21 · 06/01/2010 19:56

Mine are 10 and 12, and the 12yo is at boarding school. I don't do the school run for the youngest, and she is staying at the same school she attends now. She has started going to Guides at a church we may attend when we have moved, but that gives her a chance to make new friends, not me!

OP posts:
kdk · 06/01/2010 20:13

Where are you - like I said, some mumsnet local groups are quite active. Are you religious - church/women's institute type thing? Any courses you could do? Could you do any volunteering?

elastamum · 06/01/2010 21:19

I am a single mum with kids the same age and i have found the same thing. as a LP in 1 1/2 years we have been in the area I have never had a social invitation anywhere even though a lot of people have been to mine for coffee, dinner etc. whre do you live??

Phoenix4725 · 07/01/2010 07:08

same here add in the fact that ds3 is disabled and geting out of a evening can be tricky means i tend be billy no mates

Original poster
lilac21 · 07/01/2010 09:31

I'm in west London. I do go to church, but I have reservations about turning up at a new church and immediately advertising myself as a single parent and soon-to-be divorcee. The one I attend now is close enough that I could keep going there, but my ex goes there so I don't want to! Also, churches are often not a good place to meet people in their 30s/40s but there are any number of 70-somethings I could get along with.

OP posts:
northlondonmumma · 10/01/2010 21:27

I agree. It would be nice to have a network of other single mums to meet. I have met 2-3 lps organically through existing friends. But I would really like to meet other single mums in north london through some kind of organised network. The idea would be that I could then out of all these people may be meet a few more that would really connect with. I have tried all the usual websites gingerbread etc but not really found any meet ups or anything scheduled. I do still want to hang out with my friends in relationships (and friends without kids) but so nice to have friends with kids the same age who are free eves and weekends and not tied up doing the traditional family thing.Going to keep on checking and thinking of going on a holiday with the kids with one of tour operators like small families that do things especially for single parents.
Good luck with this everyone else. If you get any joy in any networks, please post.

kdk · 10/01/2010 21:31

Hi nlm - I'm also in north london and would be interested in similar sort of thing. Whereabouts are you and how old are your kids? Maybe we should try and organise something?

turtle23 · 12/01/2010 06:32

I have been trying to meet other mums too...local playgroups all seem to be really cliquey and I have started many converations only to be shut out.

How does everyone deal with the weekends? Have been a LP for about 2 months and it's so very lonely at the weekends.

kdk · 12/01/2010 15:43

I think weekends are often the worst when your kids are pre-school. Once they are at school, you end up doing playdates, parties, activities etc but would certainly recommend looking at your local mumsnet and seeing if anyone near you fancies a meetup.

RedHairedGirlie · 12/01/2010 20:50

I feel exactly the same, I live in Scotland and have tried desperately to meet other single mums by posting on various forums and there just doesn't seem to be any interest in regular meets for LPs.

I guess I feel more desperate as I have no family close by and am not originally from Scotland. I have made friends here, but contact is limited as they have their own lives / family things going on.

I do find the weekends are very lonely, and equally the week days can be too when the only adult contact maybe chatting to the checkout lady for 2 minutes!

I used to have lots of get up and go and and would be quite persistant and put myself out there so to speak.. but recently I just can't be bothered and feel it takes so much effort all the time to 'fit' into other peoples lives. I know that sounds so -ve..I think I must just be having one of those weeks

Maybe I need to pack my bags and move south again where there seems to be more LP meetup interest

Good luck ladies if you get something started!

northlondonmumma · 13/01/2010 20:32

Hi kdk - am islington area and kids are pre-school, and you?
i can let you know if find something localish if you nearby. nlm

kdk · 13/01/2010 20:43

hi nlm - I'm a bit further down the northern line - and thankfully mine are yr 1 now - first few years were hard. Bad enough having twins but being a single mother with twins was really desperate sometimes.

Would still be interested in hearing about meetups etc though!

domesticslattern · 13/01/2010 21:19

northlondonmumma- there was an informal group being put together in Haringey, not far from you: see here
would you like to get together?

Others in other areas might be inspired to do something similar?

northlondonmumma · 13/01/2010 23:14

I can imagine must have been hard with twins. I actually find it easier by myself these days than when exp was around.....

Thanks domesticlattern - will keep eyes peeled for similar things.

I dont feel brave enough to initiate something myself yet,,,,,i have only told 50% of mates that am separated. not cos i am ashamed - i actually feel proud that can financially support the kids myself and look after them well to (not that i am a perfect mum but ykwim) - just cant bear the pitying looks....

Mumfun · 15/01/2010 17:45

I live in South West London and am in contact with an active single parents group called Flying Solo. PM me if you want contact details - there isnt a website.

Original poster
lilac21 · 15/01/2010 20:24

Mumfun, what area does it cover? I will be living in the Hounslow area so quite a long way to the south and west!

OP posts:
Mumfun · 17/01/2010 18:32

Hi weve had a meet there so does go out that far. More often round Kingston/Surbiton but thats travellable I would hope for you at the weekend.PM me if interested

Mumfun · 17/01/2010 18:35

Just looked your initial post re ages - I know they do have older kidds but the ones Ive met up to now have been up to 6. But its worth getting in contact because you could meet more local people through it.

stardust86 · 25/01/2010 23:28

Have you looked at the Single With Kids website ? There's a trip for single parents in London this weekend (advertised on the forum) and lots of other events arranged both by members and the club itself. I've been camping and on some of the local walks and had a fab time.

aimeesmummy · 30/01/2010 21:17

Hi, so how do you meet other single mums if your child is school age and you work fulltime? The people I work with are fine but either younger than me or happily coupled-up. I get so lonely when we get home, have had dinner and dd has gone to bed. And weekends are tough. I do have family close but they're always so busy doing their own thing.

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