Pregnant and doing it on our own

[maledetta]

Hello, this is just as the thread title says- for embryonic lone parents! There have been several of us bouncing around various threads for some time now- anybody else out there?

poll32 yes you can do it, and will do it on your own...feel better now? will posta longer message later...off to see the consultant!

Thanks. Just concentrating on trying to stay calm and not get upset....

I just did it on my own. My little lovely is 6 months now and the ex left when i was 4 months pregnant.
I was scared and angry at the time but i got over it. I got on with nesting and preparing.
When the time came i kept it a secret as i didn't want him turning up at the hospital. Afterwards i sent him a message thru a friend with the details. Two weeks later he wrote me a letter apologising for his hideous behaviour during pregnancy with 50 quid in it. Nothing else since. He's met her twice both times i organised it in some hope that it would spark an interest in her. He's happier telling all and sundry how he loves his new baby but "that bitch of an ex won't let me see her", or so i've been told.

Any hoo, point being, i am so happy just me and my bubba, i look forward to every day that i am making the decisions with no selfish man too fight with. I don't ask him for anything, i can't be bothered. I didn't name him on the birth cert. He doesn't have any money and even if he did it would make no difference for me as anything he contributed would be deducted from my housing benefit, y'know that poverty trap thing.
Its definitely better to just get on with your and your lovely kids lives than to spend time, tears and emotional energy on chasing and fighting. Unless you'll get well rewarded and are up for a fight.

I love being on my own and happy with my bubba.

Thanks CameraLady - it's nice to read your story. I know I will be fine, but as you can imagine some days are better than others. I know I'll get over it too....

hi all, sorry I haven't stopped by in a while!

Hi to all the new peeps.

An update on my life.......

The sperm donor seems to have got the hint and is leaving me alone! no more threats or nasty messages from him, he came and got his stuff out of my garage a few weeks back, I did not set eyes on him, he text me a few times after that and when I did not reply he seems to have given up. I feel great, really positive about this pg now, me and DD are just happy pleasing ourselves and spending some quality time together. I have my 20 wk scan on 6th april, my best pal (also pg) will be coming with me. My sister has offered to be my birth partner and of all the people I could have with me, she is the one I would choose above all others. I have had a bit of an "episode" a few weeks ago with DD's dad. He had split with his g/f, came and spent the night with us leading us to believe he was coming back and all would be happy families again. It soon transpired he had only come for a shag and didn't actually give a crap about mine or DD's feelings and I had a huge fight with him which, long story short, has convinced me once and for all, that he too is a total piece of crap and does not deserve us. Since then the only contact between us has been re. his access to DD, and I have given up asking him to pay maintenence and gone to CSA. Another problem sorted.

I can't believe there are so many useless uncaring men out there, and that we let them get away with hurting us! I am really happy now focusing on my kids, looking forward to the LO arrival. We CAN all do this alone, and do it bloody well at that! Thats not to say I don't have moments of utter depression and despair too, but I blame them on hormones and refuse to not be positive!

Hi all - my ex left me when I was three months pregnant and saw my ds sporadically throughout his childhood. Now 21, my ds has a job, his own flat and is on his way. After reading this thread (which I wish had been around when I was going through it) a common theme is that 'bd ex is not doing x, y and z'. Believe me ladies, don't waste your time or energy on what your ex is or isn't doing. Find yourself some single parent friends, pull in what family you have got and set up decent, reliable childcare. Once you have done this, it doesn't matter what the ex is or isn't doing, because you will have set up the support system you will need to enable you to be a good parent - and it HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE EX. Therefore, he cannot interfere with your life by letting you down and you are free to get on with stuff. Your ex is also then free to decide whether or not he wants a relationship with his child or children and if he decides he can't be bothered, then he will pay the consequences of that when the child is old enough to decide that, in my ds's case, his dad is a bit of a twt. Now his dad is older he finds this hurtful but you know, he made his choice. So keep your heads up, love the kids and sally forth - it is worth it in the end.