maintenance - can I have some?

[SingleMum01]

Been divorced now for 5 years. First, was okay, he paid his maintenance, but then was out of a job, not his fault. So no money for 6 mths.

Started another job, okay again for 3 months, then left that job of his own accord and again no money for 6 months. Started another job, paid a bit (about 1/4 of what he should have as declared by court), left that job and now again no money.

In the last year have about 2 months maintenance - that was agreed by the court. Should I go to CSA?

Extremely fed up with the situation. He says there are no jobs out there but he's only applying for certain ones (of which there are none around - in radio). If it was me I'd do anything to pay the bills.

Don't really want to go to the CSA as I know that would cause tension between me and him and therefore DS, but I reckon he knows I won't and that's why I'm getting no money. He must be earning something else how could he afford clothes/rent etc.

He says he's started a selling job so I'm hoping something may come my way soon. How long should I give him?

Advice please.

personally i would go to them, even whan he isnt workign you still get money - ok its £5 a week but with me its the principle of the thing! x

Personally I would give him that one last chance to sort it out privately, giving him a time period to sort it out by or you will go the CSA. If there's any way of sorting it out between the two of you without the need of the CSA, who can really be pains in the backsides, then I would try. He just might find the threat of the CSA enough to buck up his ideas and start being responsible. If he doesn't, you've lost a month maybe but using the CSA if it isn't totally necessary would outweigh that month loss in my opinion.

If he's working now, he might have to work at most a month in hand. I would speak/write to him explaining that the child support situation is unacceptable and he isn't living up to his responsibility.

Explain you really don't want to go to the CSA to claim child support but if he doesn't cooperate, he is leaving you with no other choice.

Explain that if through the CSA, he would still be expected to pay at least £5 a week when on JSA so he cannot get out of paying the way he is.

Explain that the CSA will tell him he has to pay 15% of his net weekly income for one child, 20% for 2 and 25% for 3 or more. If he is in a new relationship, then they will take any other children living with him into account and also any nights the children stay over with him into account. Point him in the direction of the CSA calculator on their website and tell him to do the sum himself, so he can see for himself how much the CSA would ask of him. If he doesn't have the internet, he could always ring them up anonymously and ask for an estimation or he could just propose a figure to you and you decide whether it is acceptable or not.

Give him a month to get the first payment into your bank and if nothing, then you will phone the CSA on that day.

Hope that helps.

Ex DH ears must have been burning, gave me a bit of money today! Only a bit, but it all helps

He only has to pay the £5 though if he's receiving benefits. Given that he's voluntary leaving jobs, he won't (presumably) be getting these and therefore would have to pay you zilch under CSA rules

The risk of you going to the CSA is that you lose any possible voluntary payments from him under such circumstances if your relationship deteriorates. i.e. the CSA rules are that if he's earning nothing, he pays nothing, whereas if you could in any way keep a good relationship with him he may choose to pay you when possible (like he just has by the sounds of things)

Go to the CSA. Give him the choice, and when he screws up (as he inevitably will, sorry, but that's the odds) you go to them.

Like you say, where's all his rent and clothes and food and beer and nights out and so on and so forth yada yada yada coming from?

And in the meantime, you are paying out every single day.

Not that I'm bitter or anything! ;)