Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Contact problem

13 replies

SSMUM · 03/10/2009 17:18

Hi,
I am in a dialemma , I have a court order for my little one to have contact with her father on friday nights but he is not having her . He is not even in the country and his mum is going to have her.
It's my weekend to have her and I think being with her mum is more important then her gran.
The order states she must be avalible for contact with her father. Should this be taken literally. I don't mind her going to her gran when it's his contact week end but why on mine?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/10/2009 17:20

if he's out of the country how has he approached for the grans contact?

is this a one off?

Original poster
SSMUM · 03/10/2009 17:22

Yes, this is not a regular accurance. He has write to tell me this fact.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/10/2009 17:27

so he has every friday and not every other?

does he usually collect her? if he doesn't turn up then its up to you if you send her woth a third party. but the order is for him. he is the one with pr,alongside you. nobody else.

Original poster
SSMUM · 03/10/2009 17:30

Yes sorry , he has her every friday night and then all weekend every other weekend. Thanks for your help.

OP posts:
ChocHobNob · 03/10/2009 17:57

Does she enjoy going to her Gran's?

Original poster
SSMUM · 03/10/2009 18:02

Yes but she enjoys being with her mum more and I don't get to see her as much as I would like as it is.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/10/2009 18:05

i don't think you're breaking the order by not letting her go. think ball is in your court,but a solicitor should clarify the position really

ChocHobNob · 03/10/2009 18:08

You need to clarify with your solicitor really whether you would be breaking the order, but it doesn't sound like you would if it's her Nan she would be staying with.

How was it approached that she would stay with her Nan instead of her Dad?

OrangeFish · 03/10/2009 18:09

I'm afraid that being a court order in place, you may need to take it literally, more so because a member of her family is available and it is a one off.

No need to disrupt the peace for a one off. It is just one night.

ChocHobNob · 03/10/2009 18:25

I tend to agree OrangeFish. Normally what is spoke about a lot regarding contact is routine staying with her Dad or seeing his family on a Friday night, wouldn't it be best? It is just one night and she will be back to you on Saturday. It is important she has a relationship with her Nan as well. I used to love spending time with my Nan when I was younger.

ChocHobNob · 03/10/2009 18:26

I'll try again and hope this time it makes sense

I tend to agree OrangeFish. Normally what is spoke about a lot regarding contact is routine. If her routine is staying with her Dad or seeing his family on a Friday night, wouldn't it be best? It is just one night and she will be back to you on Saturday. It is important she has a relationship with her Nan as well. I used to love spending time with my Nan when I was younger.

mmrred · 03/10/2009 22:40

He's written to you to let you know (and he didn't have to, he could just have sorted for his Mum to pick her up; his parenting time therefore he makes the decisions) and it's a one off - I'd say you should let her go. Unless you allow his family 'contact time' separate from his parenting time, then she won't get to see her Gran that much, and you'll have her for the rest of the weekend.

It may be that he's trying not to let her down despite being out of the country.

Original poster
SSMUM · 05/10/2009 20:02

Thanks your right she should see her Gran, I need to work less. Thanks for all your advise folks.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page