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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

What d'you think? could another single parent with child as lodgers be a good idea?

14 replies

Lauree · 14/08/2009 17:53

This is just an idea... I'd love your views please! I'm struggling with being a single parent... missing adult company, my child is a bit isolated too... I'd love another responsible adult around with parenting skills, and another child. I've plenty of space in my house, normally I would just advertise for a lodger. .. .What do you think about this, could it work?? anyone done anything similar??? where on earth would one advertise for someone needing this kind of arrangement?

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JeMeSouviens · 14/08/2009 17:55

I read an article where a man and 2 women, with kids, all single did this, and it was working well. Set down the ground rules at the start so you all know where you stand.

Is there enough room in the house for you each to have your own lounge, for some private space? That would be my only concern as I need my own space.

LoveMyGirls · 14/08/2009 17:57

I think it sounds like a good idea in theory but I think you would need firm ground rules and have a similar parenting style.

Could you advertise at toddler groups?

BuffyTheFluffySlayer · 14/08/2009 18:10

Sounds like a great idea. I'd do it. It's a bit lonely with just ds and me, I think it would be great. I'd need someone laid back like me though. Own space would be good, split bills, rules on babysitting etc.

Original poster

Lauree · 14/08/2009 21:40

Hmm. good points about ground rules and private space: And parenting styles, which is my big problem with 'D'xP At the moment . I've two spare rooms... one was used by our au pair who sadly left to go home...and I'm trying to decide whether to find another aupair, or look for a single parent, and find other after-school childcare. By the way, sorry not to introduce myself properly - I'm new on this board, I've only just found this part of the site.
I really appreciate your views.

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BuffyTheFluffySlayer · 14/08/2009 21:49

Welcome.

I really would, ds is 10 and it's not been easy, lonely at times, it would have been nice for him to have another child to share his life with. I wished I had thought of it several years ago. Good luck to you, I hope it works out.

TheDMHatesMe · 15/08/2009 11:28

Think it could work really well if you found someone you got on with with similar views on parenting, housework etc.

Maybe split the cost of a cleaner if you could afford it?

I would love to do something like this - am very into alternatives to the nuclear family!

Mousey84 · 17/08/2009 23:21

If you search for "single parent commune" theres lots of positive stories. I know your plan isnt exactly commune, but roughly the same principle!

Sometimes I think Id like to do this, but in reality, I like my own space far too much!

MrsH2B · 18/08/2009 23:39

Sounds like it could work if everything was thought through carefully and discussed first. My only concern would be that if it didn't work out and the other SP and DC had to move out it could be unsettling for both your dc to adjust to new people being there one minute and then gone the next..

Not meaning to put a negative slant on it - just something to consider..

Overmydeadbody · 18/08/2009 23:43

I think it could work if you and the other parent got on well wnough to live together, if the children got on well and if there where ground rules and some seperarte space etc.

Pesonally I would rather have a lone lodger.

You'd have to work out clear systems for housework, use of kitchen (shared mealtimes or take it in turns etc.).

Overmydeadbody · 18/08/2009 23:44

Have you ever read the book "The Wild"? It is set in a household of two single parents (although they do 'get it together' and then everythgin gets messy).

Original poster

Lauree · 21/08/2009 20:05

Maybe I should read the book before asking if anyone wants to think about giving it a go in east London?

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Bellsa · 21/08/2009 20:08

I would love to do it. Obviously would have to find the right person, but it could be fab. Pity I'm not in East London...

TheArmadillo · 21/08/2009 20:14

It could work but you would have to be careful and set down (and both agree) to definate rules before hand.

If it went well it would be fantastic - but when these things go badly they go very badly indeed.

I've never lived with another parent and child before but have shared houses all my adult life with friends and other couples.

I have lived with 10+ other people and didn't have a huge falling out with 2 of them - one still lives with us.

You have to be careful and make sure you have your own space and things are set out clearly. Also that you are on the same wavelength.

You also need to be reasonably laid back and accomadating/flexible. Be the kind of person that is able to let things go.

I can't imagine just living with me, dp and ds and I wouldn't really want to. I enjoy living with others as well - there are lots of benefits. Company being the main one. Also the loan of a huge collection of DVDs

I would say it was worth a go as long as you went into it with your eyes wide open and knew what the downsides could be.

Original poster

Lauree · 22/08/2009 08:36

Thanks for your thoughts advice and encouragement...
any ideas where would be a good place to advertise?

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