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Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part ELEVEN

1000 replies

lou33 · 21/07/2009 20:36

dollparts he messaged me through a dating site i forgot i was on

OP posts:
electra · 13/08/2009 11:33

Men don't seem to realise that we are not such visual creatures and therefore don't really wish to see reams of naked flesh, necessarily.

I can't stand the quintessentially british on-the-beach-displaying-man-boobs-with-lobster-red-skin-and-a-beer profile...

Aren't I bitchy? Shame on me....

winnie09 · 13/08/2009 11:48

electra, I don't think it is bitchy.
Whether it is a good thing or a bad thing photos on these sites have a huge impact and it is about selling oneself afterall.

electra · 13/08/2009 14:22

Sure :-) Well I am kind of joking - everyone likes different kinds of people. I am not keen on the kind of response I personally, tend to evoke!

Janos · 13/08/2009 14:24

Def agree. Some of the pictures you see on there..

One chap who messaged me sent a picture of his cars (wtf?), one had a picture of him with his kids (why?), and one had a picture of him upside down, scowling serial killer style. I mean......

Not bitchy at all electra.

Janos · 13/08/2009 14:25

Obv these were all different men...

electra · 13/08/2009 15:28

LOL Janos! Yes the cars is a status thing, I think. Many of these things are misguided selling points!

ridingjoker · 13/08/2009 16:39

men + cameras = twats

Janos · 13/08/2009 18:39

Heh heh you said it rj! To the point as always

ridingjoker · 13/08/2009 20:03

evening all,

so... whats happening on the dating front. anyone with dates lined up for this wkd.

my hen wkd has definately been called off.kids not going till 8pm. wont get to dundee till 10pm. the hens are only going to pubs so be heading home at midnight. bit pointless.

tomorrow i have a friend coming through from glasgow.sunday i need to get organised to go to bournemouth

as for my dates... will be seeing beachbum at some point before i go away once he ties up a project at work. he has been angling for sat... offering a night in of serving my every whim at his after i said i was staying in and hibernating that night.

winnie09 · 13/08/2009 20:14

ridingjoker, lucky you

I have no dates lined up. Like electra, I am not keen on the kind of man I tend to impress It seems to be men who want to be mothered or men who are only interested in sex!

I am a size 18 and have been much bigger in my life. There is a thread at the moment on here that I am watching about whether men like bigger women or not and I fear it is a fetish (!!!) I am more than my tits (although I like my tits ) but somehow most of the men I go for want waifs and the men who go for me just want tits (or arse) and aren't interested in my brain or my life!

Ho hum... I will persevere. I had thought I would go on a date with anyone virtually who asked but I have reralised that I can't possibly. Am I being overly dismissive to just delete a message from someone who says they like cars and music? I think not...

Ignored mr.verycynical last night and he seems to have got the message. Cant decide if I regret not following through on the date planned for tonight or not. I liked his profile I just didn't like the presumption that I go to his and couldn't then be arsed to suggest anywhere else. Internet dating is all very odd

winnie09 · 13/08/2009 20:15

reralised?

ridingjoker · 13/08/2009 20:46

winnie - definately do not go to meet at his house for first date. you were right there.

i was size 18 when i started my dating at start of year. i'm just below 16 now. but have had same level of interest tbh.

at size 18 i met diver and superman. both of whom were normal not fetish blokes. both just didn't give a hoot about size. just as long as enjoyable company.

you want someone winnie whereby they dont want mothered, or fuck buddy. they want to go on a date, where you meet someone new and interesting, find out about them and enjoy your evening. if you find you like them you go on another date. if you keep enjoying the dates then add sex in there somewhere.

so what your looking for on the internet is someone who's interesting, can chat about things you like and you feel you will enjoy there company. forget all the other shite. your going for an evening out in company of someone different. worrying about what they want or expect is pointless....

..... as these are men.... you will never be able to guess or predict what they want anyway.

ALL(not many)...... of my dates that have got further than single date and eventually onto sex started off by minimum of 1 week emails about mince. just generally yackety yack and wit.

then msn, eventually text and calling.

the ones that rush in and you meet in a week dont seem to work for me.

diver - 2 months
superman- 3/4 months
beachbum - approx 6 weeks

winnie09 · 13/08/2009 21:55

Hi ridingjoker
Thanks for your words of wisdom I have, obviously met men, inc xh who didn't give a damn about my size and I know there are men out there who don't.

what do the timescales represent in your post? time from first contact to date or ?

On a practical note. Do I describe myself as BBW? "A few extra pounds" isn't right either and "Ask later" just seems to assume that I am too embarrassed to say.

lou33 · 13/08/2009 22:28

no dates not looking

beachbum sounds nice, is he hot?

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 14/08/2009 10:55

winnie tbh i wouldn't view your size as bbw but saying that everybody has their own thoughts re:body shape/dress size
men do it too with their sizes on profiles

aseriouslyblondemoment · 14/08/2009 10:57

rofl
just read that back
er am not referring to those type of sizes before anyone starts...!

ridingjoker · 14/08/2009 11:57

winnie thats from first contact to first date. those are only ones who have gotten past first date. you will see my list of others a few pages past that were all meetings in under 1 month of talking. some as quick as 1 week were most definately my worst dates.

asbm - yeah yeah.... well seeing you spotted that double edged comment , hows the lovely you, actionman and dc btw?

as for size. as i've been losing i put "prefer not to say".... and make sure there is a full body profile on my profile.

i seen that thread your talking about winnie. i agree they dont mind curves and any decent fella doesn't have issues with saggy belly and boobs of pregnancies.

but i dont think its healthy or attractive if you are in the "obese" categaory of BMI index. i am now technically very "overweight" on those charts which is very off as i'm now getting comments from friends and family that its time to stop loosing weight and stay as i am. so the BMI isn't always right. everyones different depending on shape and build.

i do however think its important to be fit. no matter what size i am, i always like to be physically fit. truth is it helps in relationship to. sex is whole lot more fun if your fit to participate. but if your out of breath in 5 mins and have to just lie there like a sack of potatoes as your knackered, and sweating profusely it just isn't attractive.

same as i really couldn't care less is a man has some extra weight. as long as he's not grunting like a pig, expecting me to go on top to do all the work and dripping sweat droplets on me after 10 mins. i dont mind both getting a bit sticky both of you if you've been as it got couple of hr though , then its deserved.

obviously million other reasons for being fit. but from our dating thread angle this is an important one i think.

and yes... i know its not all about sex in a relationship.... but thats what happens at some point ... and no matter how interesting someone is there's no point if your not going to enjoy the sex when you get there.

the good thing is... weight may take time to alter, but getting youself fit takes only a week or 2 to get to a decent level that you start to feel better about yourself.

lou - beachbum is good looking i would say. lovely eyes. he's not super hot like some of the dates (mind you best looking one was dull as dishwater) i would say probably on par with superman if you remeber what he looks like.

janos and asbm have seen a pic. they can be honest.

oh and BBW - this is really if you are obese. if your belly is lower than your fanjo type of thing.cant tell where you face ends and necks begine.. get my drift.
no point saying dress size as someone 5ft2 and size 18 looks very different from someone 5ft11 same size.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 14/08/2009 12:21

yeah def agree about beachbum's eyes they're lush
and i think he's v.fanciable from his pic
thumbs up here
and yes dcs and bf aka actionman are fine
they go off on their hols this w/e with their dad,think it's make or break time there tbh
am hoping for some lovely weather here for my much needed me time with said lovely bloke
is everything still on for this 3rd date then?

Remotew · 14/08/2009 13:42

Hi everyone, I'm still lurking just haven't got anything to add. Like Lou, no dates and not looking though I'm still chatting to 'Sat Nav', saying that I haven't caught him online for a while.

Not looking for sympathy but I have to go to hospital on Sunday, of all days, for an investigation, camera thingy down my throat. Should feel better after they rule anything nasty out.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 14/08/2009 14:57

fingers crossed eve x

ridingjoker · 14/08/2009 16:41

hope hospital goes well eve.

asbm - his neighbour got evicted and he's let him stay last night. but he's gone home today and he's still there ... made himself at home aparently. ... so he's going to have to physically pack him up and take him back to his folks as otherwise beachbum will be landed with him. blooming cheeky neighbour has aparently emptied his fridge of food and drink and caught him feet up enjoying his dvd collection when he went home ... he was supposed to have been getting himself organised to go back south... yet aparently it was "too wet"... rofl... nice he's accomodated a friend in need though i suppose.

what do you call the friend equivalent of a cocklodger???

winnie09 · 14/08/2009 17:44

eve, I hope the hospital visit went ok && you are ok.

asbm, enjoy your week ahead

ridingjoker, I agree with you about BMI it is pretty ridiculous & I know that I will get to a certain weight still classed as overweight and need to stop myself. I have been morbidly obese and it is not fun and was caused by a variety of 'issues' which through counselling I have dealt with. For much of my overweight self I have been physically reasonably fit but I did get to the stage where it was beginning to impact on me and due to the counselling I was finally able to do something about it. For the first time in my adult life I know that this time my weight will stay off. I haven't been the weight I am now for over 12 years and it is a great feeling and I frankly am loving myself (and my body) again and many people are commenting. I've always walked and this kept me sane when I couldn't face other forms of exercise but a few months ago I took up swimming again and I go 2-3 times every week and have a proper swim and I love it so much that I've got myself a membership to go as often as I like. I've promised ds that as soon as I've reached a certain weight we are going horse riding together as I rode when I was a child and loved it and really want to go again

I will remove BBW from my profile and find a full length photo I can upload. Thanks for the advice

I hope everyone has a good, relaxing weekend at the very least.

How are you Lou?

electra · 14/08/2009 19:36

If a guy asks you

'are you a money orientated person?'

What would you think of the question or what they are trying to find out?

lou33 · 15/08/2009 00:00

he either has no money , or loads and wants to check if you are a gold digger or not

OP posts:
inthemistsoftime · 15/08/2009 08:26

morning all,

how are you lou?

Like asbm, my dcs are off at the end of the day for 2 weeks hols with their father, as is the nm. So I end up being childless and boyfriend less in the same day!

I could have gone on hol with nm, but I have been away a lot recently and I must start reining in my spending!!

So its mumsnet for company in the next 2 weeks

electra, a horrid question, agree with lou but it would really put me off a bloke.

Good luck to all who have dates this weekend.

Eve, hope all goes well for you this sunday

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