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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

please help me get through my first night alone

98 replies

Titania · 18/05/2005 19:43

The eldest 2 kids are in bed. ds2 wont be long going and I am dreading it. I don't know what to do with myself.

OP posts:
Magscat · 18/05/2005 21:01

Titania - have you turned that song off yet?

Original poster
Titania · 18/05/2005 21:09

yes

OP posts:
Magscat · 18/05/2005 21:13

What are you doing then? How about starting a silly thread to take your mind off things or do you just not feel up to silliness at the moment?

Original poster
Titania · 18/05/2005 21:14

like what???

OP posts:
Magscat · 18/05/2005 21:16

Dunno really. What's the most embarassing thing you ever did at school? I remember saying the word 'orgasm' when I meant 'organism' reading aloud from a biology text book.

Magscat · 18/05/2005 21:17

...and then pretending I knew what it meant when I didn't

Magscat · 18/05/2005 21:28

Hi Titania. Hope I haven't made you feel worse by being daft. Do you want to talk about how you really feel instead?
Anyone else got any more helpful suggestions?

Original poster
Titania · 18/05/2005 21:43

sorry was on the phone to my nan....i didnt want to tell her but i couldnt hold back the tears.....

OP posts:
Original poster
Titania · 18/05/2005 21:46

am finding it so hard to stop myself from texting him....

OP posts:
Original poster
Titania · 18/05/2005 21:54

just want to hear him.....anything....jsut to know he's there and so that I won't feel so lonely.....

OP posts:
LGJ · 18/05/2005 22:16

just want to hear him.....anything....jsut to know he's there and so that I won't feel so lonely.....

And then he will be back in control, I found it interesting to note...

He spent half the night trying to convince me that if we were to split up I should be the one to leave cos I didn't want the kids if I didn't want him....Control

...then I told him that I wasn't in love with him anymoreThat I needed some independance. He was so against me driving and going to college. All he wanted was for me to stay at home, have lots of kids and stay here to look after them 24/7. Control

He then changed his tune saying that I should give him another chance to put things right and to change. I told him that it still wouldn't make me fall in love with him again. He said he didn't mind....he just wanted me around and that he still loved me. I said that it wasn't what I wanted... MORE Control

LGJ · 18/05/2005 22:22

There was someone not dissimilar to yourself who posted on here on a Sunday, and her DP was basically raping her on a daily basis, now again that is a control thing.

Sorry hun, but this is a man who wasn't happy that you met your Mum lately.FFS

Regardless of the outcome, you needed to do that chat thing with your Mum, and what did you get ??

Sulks and more control.

I know you love him, but you need to love yourself more.

HTH

LGJ

tammybear · 18/05/2005 22:32

LGJ is right. When I was reading through your other thread, your dh reminded me of my xdp who was very controlling over me. You will feel awful now, you will want to hear from him, you will want to contact him, I went through all this too. But try not to hun. Just take each day as it comes, try to keep yourself busy and away from your phone so you dont contact him. Thinking of you. xxx

Original poster
Titania · 18/05/2005 22:38

Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad

OP posts:
darlingbud · 18/05/2005 22:39

It might not seem like it but you are doing so well. Think of it this way. You are surviving - your life hasn't eneded without him has it (I know it might feel like it has but that will pass with time).

You are really doing well - keep strong.

LGJ · 18/05/2005 22:40

T

Repeated posting of is not helping matters, either people are helping or they are not.

x zillions will not help you.

Do any of us have valid points ???

Or are we just wasting our time and your time ??

LGJ · 18/05/2005 22:42

I am not fighting with you,I just think you need dialogue, {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

darlingbud · 18/05/2005 22:46

stop texting him for a start - just read that post - missed it earlier. STOP IT STOP IT. texting is no good. leave him be. can you imagine how big his ego is from thinking you are desperate for contact with him.

Original poster
Titania · 18/05/2005 22:51

you do have valid points. its just so hard. I havent texted him. Hes probably fast asleep now anyway. Dont think I can even face sleeping in my own bed tonight....

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 18/05/2005 22:54

Spread yourself out across the bed, take up as much room as you want - you're in control now, and it can feel good if you let it. If you feel lonely and that you can't sleep without someone there with you, put the radio on, or leave a light on if it helps.

darlingbud · 18/05/2005 22:54

you must try and sleep in your own bed. Its the only way to start moving on. once you've slept in it tonight it will be fine and can only get easier.

Got to go to bed soon but will be online tomorrow if you need to talk further.

Get some sleep - things always seem worse at night when one is tired.

darlingbud · 18/05/2005 22:56

what do you think of my poem BTW - not as graceful as yours!!

Original poster
Titania · 18/05/2005 22:56

thank you. i think im going to go and tidy the kitchen, cuddle the dog for a bit and then try and get some shut eye. Good idea about leaving the radio on, i hadnt thought of that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Titania · 18/05/2005 22:56

oh its lovely darlingbud!

OP posts:
LGJ · 18/05/2005 22:57

OK

Round one to Titania, you haven't texted him, I would have put next months mortgage money on you having crumbled by now.

So, well done I am proud of you.

WWB is right, luxuriate in the whole bed. No farting, no belching no scratching of balls...........A girl could get envious

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