Where have all the fit and intersting men gone part 10 (part 10...already?!)

[Janos]

Yay, I get to start this one!

Anyways hey to Dee and mousie, the more the merrier I say

Mousie he is def being unreasonable asking for that.

Do you feel able to say no or stand up to him? I do appreciate how you feel cos mine can be a real bully.

rj could you see marvel taking exp on?
do you think he'd be arsey about him getting to know the dc?
my exh will be fuming thinking he's being in some way replaced by a quasi stepdad and i can imagine will try to poison their minds

asbm - your XH can try and poison your children's minds (you can't stop him being an arsehole after all) but they know and love you and they'll see that actionman treats you well too.

asbm - marvel wouldn't care less what ex thinks. he's far too smitten to be scared off

my dc are too young for their minds to be poisoned. they will simply be delighted to have a new play friend when i do let them get introduced.

marvel has already been quizzing me on what things i have he can play with. he's particularly looking forward to the lego. but has requested if we can get meccano

i feel for you though asbm - as your dc are at the stage where i bet they wont see through ex actions when he tries to say things about actionman, or get info out of them. and if he's v jealous, he wont be happy if they dc say "we did x,y,z with actionman and it was great fun"

but hey ho. this is now 3 wkd in a row ex hasn't seen dc. lets be honest, my ex doesn't see them enough to warrant an opinion on who they spend time with these days.

rj - how old are your children? (sorry if you have already said, I must have missed it).

Janos - I feel I have to say because I moved away. Away from his control in fact but I think that CSA would just see it as away so I feel I should be collecting her. I have negotiated it down to one drop off but have had another e-mail saying that he has missed too many working hours "looking after dd for you" - he's her father FFS.

We have had a nice afternoon at a friend's dd's 3rd birthday party, am not going to let this ruin that nicer feeling.

mousie - "looking after dd for you!"

He's her Dad, not the bloody babysitter FFS. men like that piss me right off.

Despite his (many) faults mine does pick up (gets him from nursery) and drop off to me.

rj - I know what you mean. But I think dc will prob see through it, even if it makes them uncomfortable. It's a rotten mean trick doing that to your DC isn't it. I have gone out my way to be nice and positive about DS' step mum despite her behaviour.

I might add I like it that way. I'd prefer as little interaction with XP as possible apart from the necessary - but these manipulative bully types seem to revel in pushing and prodding and making as much contact as possible cos they know it upsets you.

mousie - ds - just turned 3, and dd is 2 in couple of weeks.

things are taking a downturn here but i cant post atm, will have to when i have more time and privacy

and when i am not so tired

oh dear sorry to hear that lou

didn' t come on last night as was overwhelmed with attending retirement do, memorial service and work function in the space of about two hours. My friend at work did a speech at the memorial service and also showed a picture montage of his colleague and close friend's life. It was very touching and also very funny and sad all at the same time.

Briefly saw samename today - he came over but had to pick up dcs a little while ago. Think he would feel more comfortable meeting them in a neutral space. Not sure if I can see him for another two weeks. We are moving forward at a snail's pace.

One weird thing happened today when I dropped off dcs, exh's new p's sister bounded out and introduced herself to me and her also her p. Very friendly - not sure if she realises I haven't met her sis.

Oh dear lou sorry to hear that. Hope you are ok and can get some rest tonight.

lou am off to bed now but will be around tomorrow in between seeing actionman
scl that sounds hard to get thru,hope you're better today,i think these things make you naturally reflect on things esp as a lp
janos and rj what can i say?you both know about him and my situ,and you both have hideous exs too
are we going to let them still dictate?
and yes despite our resolve they still get to us!
ok back to the dating thread

yes re hideous exs - some small examples of mine and his controlling ways -

yesterday I arranged to be at his at a certain time so me and dcs set out, en route we had a text to say that babies went to sleep 30 mins late (shock horror) and he would text us when we were to leave!!! Go ds1 to call him back to say we were on our way and would be dropping off as originally planned. Of course it wouldn't cross his mind that I might have plans for the afternoon.

He said he absolutely could not bring them back to mine.

exh asked me to provide a birthday card from boys to his new SIL wtf

has given me money to buy ds2 bday present , initially decided he would see them on fathers day but now as he's seeing ds2 on his birthday this week has decided not to see them today.

Just venting really - I could put my foot down about each and every one of these things but I haven't got the energy.

and now he's told me that on the next weekend he's due to have them he's going to a party so will swap the Saturday with a Friday - er how does that constitute a full weekend. Taking the piss or what.

Don't want to sound like a martyr but short of driving them over and not coming back for 48 hours I don't know what I can do - I am so worn down by it all.

Sorry off topic but needed to rant.

Hope everyone's sunday is going well

I'm tired today, went out with my platonic friend last night for dinner. He ordered a bottle of bolly .

Thinking of going out to eat again tonight. I cannot be bothered to cook.

DD bought her excuse of a father a card today, still shows who's the better person. Glad I don't have to have any contact with him he would have been very unreliable if he had bothered to ask for regular contact years ago.

What's up Lou?

ooh lovely eve bolly

I just made a prawn aromatic rice recipe from Sainsburys v nice and quite rare for me to cook something different.

Going back out in the garden it's so lovely.

Hope Lou is ok. Ditto you eve.

Oh that's why its so quiet on here, who has great weather. It's warm but heavy cloud in my area certainly not a sunbathing day?

I'm OK just a bit hung over. I owe someone a treat so we are going to the italian later.

ohh
scl what an arse!but yes i know about the sheer mental drain it is dealing with it!
nice man tho opting not to see his boys on father's day,did you bite the bullet and buy them a card to send?
i shamed reminded my exh to see the dc today,he had planned to get out of feeding them and was going to drop them back when he felt like it but i insisted on a time
lucky i did as he narrowly missed actionman
hi eve,mmm i do like bolly too
any more from your pof man?

I have signed up to pof. Met previous bf and a few other dates on match but just can't afford it. So that's a good thing for today (achieved in dd's naptime!)

Am hugely stressed re:ex and angry and have had a nightmare weekend with dd who is potty trained- ish now. but aaaaarrrggghhh. I do feel crap tonight, overweight, stressed and all alone with dealing with it all.

yes mousie know what you mean - I don't normally feel particularly lonely but today I do for some reason.

Am debating whether I can be bothered to txt samename to tell him we will have to swap the days for our next meet in two weeks time!!

Said I might try to see him in between but not quite sure how I can achieve it. It's shite.

One good thing on the horizon is that we (dcs and I) are going to repeat our mid summer hol party that we had last year. Will be early August. It was mainly mums and kids ( a few token men) but a good time was had by all on a minimum budget.

ASBM how did the time with actionman go?

merry sunday everyone.

i've been busy with a 3yo birthday party and various visiting of relatives. not long in door for first time today since early bells.

kids bathed. gotta get myself organised as marvel coming round once lo's in bed.

but... i long to just sit myself and read the sunday papers with a glass of wine, oooh and i'm having a real chocolate craving day, but i dont have any. think i could let marvel come round for half hr if he brings chocolate and show him the door.

think its bad on days like this i long to be single again and not have to keep to these commitments i've agreed to with him??

sorry your all having shitty days.wish i was able to sit down long enough to feel lonely

mousie thats something pos.and the flirting will do you good
scl the budget break sounds great,exh is taking my dc away for their jollies,actionman is talking about us taking a few days away during that time which would be lovely as i haven't had a break in a longtime
and yes thankyou today was nice and relaxed but sadly evry time i heard a car door i thought it was exh coming back early!
silly isnt it?
so v much the same dilemma for you here with the dc and samename as for me and actionman
really the only way forward is for them to meet

I really do sympathise mousie. I had the most awful angry and lonely day on Friday.

It really can be crushing can't it and sometimes just sneaks up on you.

What I always tell myself is, this will pass and it usually does. God that sounds patronising and totally not meant to!

scl - it's so frustrating isn't it when they change plans at the last minute and you are expected to fall in with it and then you have to because you have no choice, because what about your DC?

seems to have been a difficult weekend on the ex front, sorry to hear that
you're right asbm is prob better to get the meeting over in that case
lost can't you insist he sticks to arrangement? not fair to mess you about like that
my ex's disinterest works in my favour he leaves it all to me and asks no questions
busy weekend here, spent sat night with bf, lots of wine, ended up going on about how I loved being single dunno why really, think he was bit upset.

janos hope you are feeling better today?
lou - wassap??