Lone parents on IS, come talk to me about how you manage financially

[idontlikethisperson]

I'm new to the situation, H and I separated a couple of months ago.

I wanted to ask how you find it on IS, managing money and paying bills etc?

Even though before there was no way we were rolling in money, I could get a lunch out maybe with DD every now and again, or coffees - but that's no longer - which I don't mind at all, but it's just hard to adjust to the decrease in my spending or making my money go further.

How much do you spend a week on food shopping? I'm getting my food bills down but I'm intrigued as to what I'm spending.

I do get maintenance from ex, which is good, IS, CTB, CTC, CB, but even though I get maintenance, it doesn't really go on my DD, it goes towards bills?

I know it will get better once I go back to work in the future. Just want to hear how others do it?

It's so crappy this situation and I hate the perception of "single parents being scroungers on benefits". It irks me somewhat!

I'm not on IS but by the time you've substacted mortgage and childcare from my salary, I'm left with the same amount as my friends on IS to spend on food/bills, etc.

All of us have realised that ruthless budgeting is a necessity. It takes time to create a realistic budget as most people simply write down income and monthly outongs and fail to take into account lots of things that do not readily spring to mind (such as kids needing new shoes every few months). You may find this site very good for making the pennies go further and he also has a really good section on planning a realistic budget.

I managed to to get my shopping bill down to £200 per month by budgeting and meal planning. That works out at about £50 per week to feed three of us, and it includes toiletries, cleaning products, etc. Basically, I spend about £100 at the beginning of the month on household goods, cupboard foods (tins, packets of pasta/rice, etc), frozen veg, meat, etc., then each week I just spend £25 on fresh fruit, milk, bread, etc. But I only buy exactly what I am going to be using. The day before Tesco delivers, my cupboards are bare!!! Another tip there - if you can afford the delivery fee (cheaper if you organise well in advance), shopping online is a good way to ensure you stick to your budget, although only going shopping with the amount of cash you can afford (and no cards in your pocket) is another tip.

I too cannot afford to go out unless I save up for it or sacrifice something else, but neither can a lot of people, including those in two-parent families where both parents work. It's a sign of the times, unfortunately. I'm lucky enough that most of my friends are also single parents, so we just take it in turns to gatecrash each others houses with a cheap bottle of plonk or a big jar of Tesco's own-brand coffee.

Thanks for the advice Optimist and the link. I'll have a look at that.

Funnily enough the new shoes thing is something that has cropped up at the moment.

I think I need to sit down and look at the spreadsheet.

All your points taken on board.

I think part of the reason why I can't get my head around it is denial of the situation, but its here and it's now and it's happening, so I'd better get used to it!

It's true what you say, I was talking to my sister yesterday about the situation and was saying how it's difficult for most people at tthe moment, so I'm not the only one And in a way, at least I know where I'm at. I think we've been so lucky the past few years (on a whole as a country, that is) and we live in a generation where we spend first and think later, that perhaps it would be good to go back to "make do and mend" and saving for what we want?

I guess we are fortunate to have a roof over our heads and our health, and are not living in dire poverty

For one off expenses (like a new washing machine if yours breaks down, or a nwe pair of shoes) , you can get something called a "budgeting loan" of between £100 and £1000 ish if you're a single parent. You get the form from the job centre and pay it back automatically out of your income support each week, about £12 a week ish, interest free. You probably don't need this but it's good to know it's there for those dreaded emergencies!

I find it kind of embarrassing having to queue in the post office and take out my last £3.51, etc.... anyone else in this situation!?
other than that, am grateful the government give us anything to live on! it's pretty generous really. can't say i am not looking forward to having a job.. going on holidays.... buying the occasionaly garment new!

as for not living in dire poverty - as single mothers on benefits we are technically below what is defined as the poverty line. Heartening isn't it.. it makes me feel strong in a way!

Did you know gas and electric companies are required to provide a "social tarriff" - 20 % cheaper than the normal tarriff you are probably on? Look into this, it can make a massive difference especially in winter. I must say, this winter, I Struggled hugely with the price increases. You just need to provide proof of your income. Also are you getting healthy start vouchers towards fruit and milk?

I make sure I squirrel away a tenner each week......keep it at home so it's there for emergencies. I let it add up with goals in mind. Have enough there this month to pay local plumber to fit an outside tap for the paddling pool/water pistol season!! And there's some left to continue building emergency fund up.

I manage quite easily asctually. Once you get your head into frugal mode it's easy not to spend unnecessarily and chop around for the cheapest deals.

I find that living isn't actually very expensive, as most things that cost money you can do without, fond cheaper, or do similarly for free.

Seriously, I wouldn't describe DS and my life as living in poverty.

Before you part with any money, ever, just make sure you really need to part with it. Get into the habit of putting things back just before you get to the check-out at supermarkets, things you've just put into the trolley on impulse you probably don't need.

I have other tricks to make things go further too. Will not post them all here.

It's worth always comparing prices of things. Especially if you shop at tesco as they change prices of things regularly, so the cheapest apples (for example) one week might not be the cheapest ones the next etc.

like IloveTIFFANNY I also try to save a little bit each week.

Ebay is great for neccessities, I tend to buy bundles of clothes off there for DS and then that's his whole wardrobe sorted for six months at least.

T K Maxx is the place to go for affordable shoes for DCs too. Good brands but at cheap prices.

I always think along the lines of "if I can get by without it, then I won't buy it".

Little things make a big difference too.

If you're going out for the day and will need food or snacks and drinks, take them with you, don't buy them when out.

Buying ready made sandwiches is really expensive and you might sd well just chuck that money down the loo tbh.

I like good real coffee, but I will not spend over £2 on a cup of the stuff when out. So instead I buy good coffee in the supermarket for £3 and make a flask of it to take with me if I'm going to be out and fncy one. I take a flask to the park and on train journeys etc. Way way more economical.

Same with drinks for DS. I always have a bottle of water for him on me, and sometimes juice too, brought from home.