Do your children have contact with their dad?

[Katrina7]

Or do they receive presents, cards etc? Or does he phone them?

[MuppetsMuggle]

Thanks Kat7 shes having a good day so far LOL.

Glad your feeling a little better today.

LostDad sounds like you are one of the better men out there, and your exw should be lucky you want to know your children!

[northlondonmumma]

Hi everyone

I am newly single. After rocky last couple of years with my now xp - he was verbally and emotionally abusive, financially a leach and generally pretty unsupportive to me.

I actually feel very positive about this. I asked him to leave. I thought it was much better for me and the 2 kids -(baby and toddler) as his behavior was getting worse and didnt want kids witnessing it. I feel the happiest I have been for a long time (though I am sure will have some ups and downs, esp re visits to kids ..)

I dont know ANY other single mums though. Loads of my middle class mum friends are a bit sniffy about the single mum thing. Not sure why but...Anyway can anyone recommend any groups to join around the London area or other groups just to get to meet other people in same situation.

Thanks so much xx

[northlondonmumma]

Hi everyone

I am newly single. After rocky last couple of years with my now xp - he was verbally and emotionally abusive, financially a leach and generally pretty unsupportive to me.

I actually feel very positive about this. I asked him to leave. I thought it was much better for me and the 2 kids -(baby and toddler) as his behavior was getting worse and didnt want kids witnessing it. I feel the happiest I have been for a long time (though I am sure will have some ups and downs, esp re visits to kids ..)

I dont know ANY other single mums though. Loads of my middle class mum friends are a bit sniffy about the single mum thing. Not sure why but...Anyway can anyone recommend any groups to join around the London area or other groups just to get to meet other people in same situation.

Thanks so much xx

[Snorbs]

MY children see their mum on and off - when she's not drinking they see her every week but, when she is, she'll go months without seeing them. The on-again, off-again contact doesn't do my kids any favours but that's the best they can get from their mum

[RedHairedGirlie]

its been a wbile since I've logged on since having the wee one... never seems to be enough hours in the day .

My situation is similar to some already posted - the father does not want to see or meet his daughter and I have not seen him since October last year. He resents the fact that I continued with the pregnancy... only additional 'niggle' to my story is that he got back with his ex, and within a month, low and behold she was pregnant... I gave birth early April - she is apparently due June time and is also having a girl.

I feel totally hurt by how this man has behaved - and when I look at my daughter sometimes I just feel so upset and sad for her that one day I will have to explain what happened and wny daddy wanted nothing to do with her knowing there is another child. I have even had terrible guilt pangs . He really does not appreciate the hurt he has caused and is likely to continue to cause into the future. I know perhaps that I have to change my attitude, and see it as a +ve thing this man is not in our lives (even his own mum has told me that we are better off without him in our lives!!)

I also find it hard to understand how a father could not want to meet their own child - to see how precious and innocent a new life is regardless of all the external factors... it is really quite sad.

NorthLondonMumma, hope you find some groups to hang out with - I am also trying to find groups near to where I live for single parents - I did find a phone number at my local doctors, so you may want to ask at your local surgery if they know of any such groups..

[ridingjoker]

another exp here who makes more of an effort now we're split.
he's not dad of year. but definately an approvement.

he tries to see them ever sat 7pm till 11am on the sun. his work permitting sometimes they go at 5pm on sat or i dont pick them up till 3pm on sunday.

pays maint fairly regular. though is good at being late or "forgetting" to have it on him.giving him an excuse to get me to go to his business the next day so he can see them for a wee half hr.

he's also pretty good if i have any appointments/hairdressers/dentist he will take them to work so i dont need to take dc.

but... the state they return to me in is questionable.

last time dd came back and she'd drawn all over her arms and 1 of her legs with a biro. exp excuse being "i never seen her do it", must have taken ages for her to do it. she'd even managed to get her armpits. no idea wtf he was doing while she was doing this. took 4 days before it would come off.

but ho hum... better than not seeing them at all.

[Divvy]

Please can I tell you my story, as its goes a few more year forward than alot of yours?

He left, never wanted anything to do with the 2 children we had. they were 13 months and 4 years old.

Fast forward 15 years, yes 15 years. He contacts them on facebook, and tells them a load of lies about me. That I stopped him seeing them, that I returned solicitor letters, all lies. 16 yo was flattered by him and went to live with him. Filled her head with such terrible lies about me and her childhood. She thinks the sun shines out of his fucking arse

He never wanted to see them, I just did my best, it seems its wasnt enough. My eldest wont have anything to do with him though, as thankfuly sees through the lies.

I am gutted that he swans back on the sceen 15 years later and is the fucking hero!

I am so fucking angry, very sad about it all.

[ridingjoker]

oh divvy