What if I never ever ever meet anyone else.........

[CrackerNut]

and am stuck talking to myself for the rest of my life ?

I'm having this too-have got too desperate so am scaring men off now-it makes me sad inside! When I feel really low I look around at some of my friends that are more highly strung/high maintenance/less capable than I, and think "well they found someone, and they are very much in love, so my time will come". We will find someone, and I have decided to stop looking and make more friends, and links may or may not come that way. (Ok, yes, am still actively eyeing up every man in sight and smiling at random strangers in the hope they will fall in love with me, but it will wane over time!)

I wish I just didn't care. Most of the time I can convince myself that I don't, but am finding it really hard again lately.

Tbh I want to scream and cry and stamp my feet in an 'it's not fair' manner.

I have done that-last night in fact!

My friend is a bit of a harlet-I love her to bits but she is a clingy, whingy, feckless harlet when it comes to men-you can never tell her about liking anyone or she will sleep with them, and men are all over her! I have my own house/car/ironing board. I can cook, clean and be self sufficient. I do not need to accompany you on every night out, and I am fairly pretty, yet no one, not one guy, wants me!

We have both been vying for a young man's attentions. I sent him too many messages in a fit of showing him how lovely/funny/generous/capable I was, and he has gone off me. However he is dangling off her, despite her showing up at his house totally unannounced because she wanted to see him and actively bee-lining for him every time she sees him! What do these girls have that means they can flout all the rules these men lay down and yet still have guys running after them?

hop onto 'fit and interesting' thread ladies
you know you want to
proven success rate too

Some people don't though do they, I know at least 2.

er paddington thought you were sorted there girl?

Thanks seriously , I did go on one of the other threads but don't think i fit in very well.

Yes, sorry, the point I was trying to make in a roundabout weirdo manner was that men like different things. Some men like children, some men don't. Some men like women that need looking after, some men like independents (like us!). We just need to collide in to the right one/few and we will get there! Just because some people are paired up, it doesn't mean they are with the right person, it just means they don't want to be on their own, so in a way are in a worse situation than us, as they are more miserable.

Yes but paws...what do they want her for?

iyswim

It might just be a quick fling

You and I and Cracker here all want someone nice and reliable, who won't ditch us if we don't put out 24/7

I have not found someone yet though and might not
It bothers me too

100yrs - how did you find him/ Does he have a nice bro/ etc etc

Yeah, I was-he turned out to like my friend and her ladylike charms (grr grr grr grr grr!!!!). I got lost on fit and interesting-I couldn't keep up with everyone!! All I understood was comic book guy!! We need a little guide to it before we hop on for good!

Ooh what is this success of which you speke, seriously?

Sorry but you need to make a good life without a partner before you have any chance of finding a nice partner. While you are desperate for couplehood, you will scare off the nice blokes (who generally want to be valued for themselves as individuals, not just slotted into the nearest 'partner' box, desperation and over-eagerness are so off-putting) - and you will only attract either cocklodgers (who want to be fed, housed, supported and indulged in return for some perfunctory sex and promises of doing manly tasks about the house. Which they will either not do, or will totally botch.) or predators who will want to control and abuse you.

or maybe not

Solidgold - I have a nice life. I have a house (Ok, rented) and two nice children, neither of whom has an asbo yet.

I am slim, wear nice clothes, am not desperate as such, just rather lonely.

Where am I going wrong?

Seriously,its gone onto Pt 5!!
its easy to jump onto
everyone who's on there is successful!

Plus like Paws I have and drive a car (well it's technically my mother's but hey!) I do my own gardening, cutting down trees etc, decorating, electrical fittings, tiling...

Do you think they sense a lack of neediness? Should I be less competent and more needy?

Are men scared of me?

I've only had offers from a 60yo and a 50yo lately. Bloke I fancy is otherwise involved.

I must admit-I was starting to think that part of my problem was that I will not tolerate people being a feckwit to me, so have stopped a lot of relationships before they have even started, so have been single longer than I would have done had I not stopped things on the first/second/third dates. I think you know what you want in a man, and if you really wait and look then you will get mr perfect, as opposed to mr "you will do as I am lonely". However, the loneliness is starting to get to me too!

Yes I blew off a guy who was otherwise quite good

he was half an hour late one day, no good reason
I just knew iyswim. Lateness = passive aggression. Twas a shame but I'm glad to be out of it.

No, I don't think men are scared of you-I just think they think we are capable and therefore do not need a man IYSWIM. But then you get the idiots that think you are ok to be used as a shagpiece, as you don't need anything else-ahem-we are humans you know, with FEELINGS!

Steady

Yes I think you are right. I always look at Carol Vorderperson and think 'Why do men fuck you around? You are v clever and pretty. Do they not feel needed enough?'

Exactly-Carol Vordemann v that woman from the Iceland ads. I would like CV if I were a man as she would be an easy, self-sufficient wife. However, Iceland lady-always has a man (although always also in turmoil!) and they don't leave her as they feel she is too needy.

I did go on there Seriously and joined a dating site again but as usual I end up with the oap's and nutters.

I don't think I come across as desperate, infact probably the opposite if anything.
I know people who I would consider to be desperate and I am nothing like them.

Blokes that I like never like me back and thats a fact.

Or they do but they don't like me having kids.