Challenging the media stereotypes

[poshsinglemum]

Hi there,
Is anyone fed up with the way that the media portrays single parents and think that it affects the way you see yourself in relation to society as a whole? I am!
I'm only just beginning to feel really proud of myself for being single mum to my georgeous dd who is now 7 months old. I did feel ashamed that I wasn't married but then I just thought there is no such thing as the 'perfect' family and i should be proud that I am strong enough to take this path.
What really bugs me though is the way that the media churns out goverment statistics about how children from broken homes are more likely to suffer from dissafection blah de blah de bloody blah. I had to write to the Sunday times about a certain article in todays News Review that went on about depressed single mums coming home from work to struggle with the children and how this is further failing our children.
I mean- excuse me. I am not depressed thank you very much. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. It's like saying 'you are crap becasue you can't make your relationship work and your children will grow up to be crap too.' This article was written by a happily married woman but she is soooo judgemental.
How can we change this scapegoating and stereotyping set up by the media or is it impossible due to some patriarchal agenda? How can I ignore the media and other people's comments about single mums and 'broken' families? I feel very whole and fullfilled as a single mum myself.
Anyone care to join me in my rant/campaign?

Hi, I'm writing on behalf of Gingerbread (we're a charity working for and with single parents, our website is www.gingerbread.org.uk). Thanks poshsinglemum for starting this thread - it's clearly struck a chord with a lot of other parents. Somebody upthread wondered what Gingerbread is doing about the media treatment of single parents.

We've recently relaunched after Gingerbread merged with One Parent Families - we were called One Parent Families|Gingerbread for a while, which was too much of a mouthful, so now we're sticking with just Gingerbread. We had a lot of media coverage for our relaunch and one of the key points we made during the relauch was that single parents are subject to unfair stigma and stereotyping. We sent our 'launch briefing' to every single MP and all the main media outlets in the country and it contains some powerful comments from lone parents on their treatment by the media. You can read the PDF version of it by clicking here

We can't change things overnight, but we feel very strongly that single mums and dads do not deserve the scapegoat treatment they so often get, and we will continue to work to try and change attitudes and stand up for single parents. We?re a small charity but we?re doing the best we can! Any suggestions for further work are of course much appreciated.

If you want to add your voice to Gingerbread, we'd love to have you as a member. Membership is free and there are more details here.

Hi Poshsinglemum,

Given media coverage at the moment we're condemned if we work, tarred and feathered if we don't. Rock and a hard place if ever there was one.... If your little one is happy and brought up with love, care and attention they have the best start in life. The rest is incidental.

We are all doing the job of 2 parents and doing it bloody well too ! Isn't that a cause for us to be proud?

Chrissie x

Too right chrissieL It's a bit like ballroom dancing, the woman does it all backwards and in heels and does she get more recognition for that?

TO be honest, as a asingle parent in tTHIS home,is the same as when I wasnt a single parent in this home!i.e, my daughter sees her father exactly the same times because of long work hours!!
and I am free to live my life, without trying to be the Perfect wife, which is something i cant , and dont want to be!!
we all have our independance and support when we need it.

Hi all again,

Thank you so much for taking part in this thread. I have now jooined Gingerbread. Nowadays I feel proud to be a single mum and while I do get annoyed about the media stereotypes I am determined that it is not going to shape my life.

The single-mother bashing actually comes from the most basic level of misogyny: women are supposed to service and obey men, so women who don't devote their lives to servicing and obeying a man have to be condemned - because otherwise, other women will realise that servicing and obeying men is neither compulsory nor necessary, and they will stop doing it.

I am going to memorise this so that the next person who gives me crap about being a single mum will have to choke on these words, male or female