Lets tell all those out there what life's really like raising children by yourself, it may remove the thought that it's easy!

[scrooged]

My life:
I've been a student for years, I have a degree already but am unable to work all the hours I need to for a job in this field because of childcare and needing to spend some time with my son. I am exhausted all the time, I'm up early to get him to school, I go to Uni/hospital (placement), work all day then rush to collect him, bring him home, supervise homework, cook tea, bath him then put him to bed. I do this every day, exhausted or not. Every day is the same. When he's ill I take time off as there's no one else to look after him. I do all the housework as there's no one else, when he's ill I'm the one up all night/taking him to the doctors/hospital. I buy everything for him on my titchy income, we have never been on a holiday as I fund a 2 bed house and him so there's not alot spare. We don't go anywhere in the school hoidays as I can't afford it, I spend most (99%) evenings alone, I don't go out, I hardly see my friends. I've lost jobs because I needed to take time off to look after him when he's been ill. I'd love a cleaner or a mothers help for a couple of days a week so I would be able to have a break from dashing around at full speed. I don't have time for breakfast as I'm too busy getting him ready for school so am often hungry. I have the worry of not being able to care for him if I become ill, I worry about being late to drop him off at school/collecting him late, I worry about being unable to pay the bills, whether he's OK at school, whether I have enough food to feed him (I have been known to eat only biscuits because I have had no money and have given him the food we have). I have been evicted from a house because I lost a job after taking time off when he was ill. I could go on but I can't be bothered.

Easy hey!

Oh tortoise can you not get a friend to have the dd's for the weekend? You will be knackered Do you have MN pals around even?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/692497-Am-single-parenting-for-only-3-weeks-am-amazed-at

No web site. Not yet. The one I'm making at the moment is pink with purple flowers on the bottom and will have the child's name (it's been ordered for a birthday present) bursting out of a flower. It looks too nice to sell though, I want to keep it!

agal no, no-one who can have them for the weekend. They will just have to watch tv/dvd! I have a futon bed downstairs where i sleep(gave my bedroom to ds2) so at least i can lounge around in bed for a few days.

I recon they will be willing to play nurse and look after you. Take aways will save cooking. I know they are bad but it's only for a short while. Do you have a mum/sister who can come and help you?

I totally acknowledge what you all do and take my hat off to you. I do it for weeks or months at a time as DH is away in the military and it's bloody hard. Scrooged - I totally get the Groundhog Day feeling, that's just how I feel, but I am lucky in that my Groundhog Days aren't indefinite.

Ignore the other thread, the novelty will soon wear off for her

scrooged Won't be able to get to a take away. But have plenty of snacks in for me. And chuck in the oven easy food for DD's. Sister about 8 miles away hasn't spoken to me in 2 yrs. Mum/Dad moved to Turkey 3 yrs ago.

the ex's parents? They are still your childrens grandparents, could they help?

Their Dads parents don't really have anything to do with them. Although they did turn up after Christmas with a £5 voucher for them each!! Their Dad was violent to my DS1 so even he can't have them.
Thanks for trying to help though.

Ach listen i will keep my fingers crossed that everything goes well for you Tortoise and that the recovery is as easy as possible.

All the rest of you,DH was away for 3 weeks once,i had a ball,watched what i want/ate what i want etc etc but it is very different to being a single parent all the time. The other thread was badly worded i think,pay no notice!!

Thanks agal.

Have you tried social services? They can send in someone to help you out. A family suport worker or something. I know you must not want them in but they can be really useful.

I thought the same scrooged, Surestart??

No, not tried that. We did have a SW but she emigrated and they haven't given us a new one. Could be a bit late to arrange something now though. I could try phoning tomorrow.

It's not too late. There's no need to struggle. I'd welcome one into my house to help me with the housework and collect ds from school once a week so I can have a break but ss won't go for it as I'm not in need. Bastards! I'll have to hire a mothers help instead.

Will see if i can sort anything out tomorrow.
DD1 is now up coughing. Hope she will be ok without me if she is ill. Now worried she will cough and be sick at someone elses house.

Better get to bed to look after her.
G'night.

Good luck. Threaten to take the chidren down to the office and stay there with them until they sort something out. This will get them moving

I'm not trying to be patronising and give you all a jolly little pat on the hat but i do want to say that I hear you and have the utmost respect for all single parents here. Having been raised by mum alone and having had a pretty useless Dad (with all respect Dad, RIP) I know the daily battle to survive.

Yep, it's hard. It's not hell though. But when you have to decide which bill is more urgent as you haven't got the money for both, when you are watching the pre pay gas meter, willing it to slow down so it will last til next tax credits come through, when you pretend to the kids that Mummy has already eaten, when you haven't, but there's only enough food for the children and you have to go without...then it's hard.
When the washing machine floods, or the lights won't work and you have no one but NO one to call to help you.
When you have flu at the same time as all the children, but still have to get up and nurse them when you feel like dying.
When you have no adult conversation for days on end because you just don't see anyone other than the kids.
When you have to miss your best friend's wedding because it's child free and you have no one to look after the children for the weekend.
I am in a new city, with no friends and no family. I can't afford a phone line so can't chat to old friends from home as I can't afford to call them on my mobile and vice versa (the internet is also pre pay mobile), and if the weather's bad and parents are rushing about at school drop off time, I will literally not speak to another adult for days.

But you know what? I wouldn't trade it for my old life, not a chance.

I definitely find it easier than when I was living with my husband - it's been about 15 years since we split up so can safely say the novelty must have worn off by now!

I'm in Derby if you are near.

Reading some of the threads on here, I'm happy I'm single and don't have another 'child' to care for. At least I know it will all get done.

The freedom is just bliss! I find I need less money now, and because things are so much calmer than they were when he was around we are all much happier just to stay in and chill anyway. I'm in charge, I'm not dominated or intimidated. That doesn't detract from the fact that it can be bloody lonely sometimes, and it can feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders...but I'm damned proud of what I do.

That's the spirit!