Lets tell all those out there what life's really like raising children by yourself, it may remove the thought that it's easy!

[scrooged]

My life:
I've been a student for years, I have a degree already but am unable to work all the hours I need to for a job in this field because of childcare and needing to spend some time with my son. I am exhausted all the time, I'm up early to get him to school, I go to Uni/hospital (placement), work all day then rush to collect him, bring him home, supervise homework, cook tea, bath him then put him to bed. I do this every day, exhausted or not. Every day is the same. When he's ill I take time off as there's no one else to look after him. I do all the housework as there's no one else, when he's ill I'm the one up all night/taking him to the doctors/hospital. I buy everything for him on my titchy income, we have never been on a holiday as I fund a 2 bed house and him so there's not alot spare. We don't go anywhere in the school hoidays as I can't afford it, I spend most (99%) evenings alone, I don't go out, I hardly see my friends. I've lost jobs because I needed to take time off to look after him when he's been ill. I'd love a cleaner or a mothers help for a couple of days a week so I would be able to have a break from dashing around at full speed. I don't have time for breakfast as I'm too busy getting him ready for school so am often hungry. I have the worry of not being able to care for him if I become ill, I worry about being late to drop him off at school/collecting him late, I worry about being unable to pay the bills, whether he's OK at school, whether I have enough food to feed him (I have been known to eat only biscuits because I have had no money and have given him the food we have). I have been evicted from a house because I lost a job after taking time off when he was ill. I could go on but I can't be bothered.

Easy hey!

Let's not forget when you're ill and feel like death.. Still have to get up and deal with them. Especially me as Ds is autistic so doesn't really understand why I don't want to leave my bed.

You poor love, it sounds relentless. I hope someone will come along with some ideas for you to get a break, maybe a group you could join?

Blessings.

sending you a big (((( ))))
yes its pretty dire most of the time
wont go on either
but at least our dcs will grow up knowing their mums loved them and put them first
that's what keeps me going

I'm pissed off tonight. Sorry about the lack of paragraphs.

Ohh, ill. I couldn't take ds to school for a day last term as I was too unwell. It would have been nice if I had a helping hand.

or helping hands have other things

It is far from easy being a single parent.

I am currently trying to deal with the fact my DD1 and DD2 have to sleep at a CM's house for 2 nights while i have my Gall bladder out Wednesday (Unless the hospital cancel again!). I'm sure they will be ok but i would be much happier if i had a dp/family who could look after them.

DS1 and DS2 are ok, they can go to their Dads.

i am so tired of having to do everything by mysef too.

I think that you are all amazing and virtual wine and chocolate is being sent to you all.

I'm lucky in that my parents and siblings help out with childcare as one of mine is a preschooler.
However I so hate feeling so utterly dependant on the goodwill of people. I dont go out because I dont want to off load my children on to people (this is my own view of my situation).

So life is work and I have to race home to make pick up time at school, on the days I do the school run.

I feel cut in half, I cant do as much at work as I want as I have to attend to my children, I feel like I'm cutting my children short as I'm too tired to be a great mum.

Mind you its early days for me, I'm sure we'll figure it out eventually.

No wine and chocolate please. Just no more bloody threads saying someone thinks it's 'easy'!

I feel the same about not wanting to off load ds onto people. It's no life for a child to be treated this way and is really unsetting.

personally I am finding it no harder (actually in some ways easier) than before we split up.
What I find difficult is the loss of my relationship and friendship, and the splitting of our children's lives between us.
I do however appreciate that that my financial position is alot better (for want of another word) than many LP's and that my children's father is making every effort to be involved with them. I only hope, for their sakes, that this continues.

God that sounds hellish all of you. Tortoise can't believe that theres nobody you can lean on while you have your op (awaiting my gall bladder op too) Hope it all goes ahead.

Not in your situation but jesus your dc will appreciate/be so proud of you all with the stuff you have gone through for them!!

that was an unfortunate x-post re "easy", sorry.

My favorite bit....

Just as you start to find your feet. Get the children a little settled and secure. Learn how to budget and have basic finances in place, the other parent rearing their ugly head and wanting to play parent again.

Then because the legal system in this country lets them changing their mind again leaving the mess in their wake.

So your tough you restabalise your family only to get another solicitors letter wanting yet another revision in access!

It's not hell. It is like groundhog day though. It's the lack of money that makes things so much harder though. My income's quite high as I work from home in my spare time (I'm now designing and making childrens t-shirts) so can get extra for this but it goes so quickly. I pay the bills for a family when there's only 2 of us (less food though).

Well, chuh, personally I find it much the same - I did it all myself anyway, so not much different, just one less person to clean up after and no one to spend my hard earned on coke. And when ex p takes them I have the odd night off. Not that I'm saying its great, just that it was bad enough before

aGalChangedHerName Thanks, i hope so too. i have friends helping out with picking up from school. But basically op Wednesday, friday DD's will be home and need me to look after them. I think DS's will stay with their Dad until Saturday eve. i hate that i will have to rely on people if i need help though. Am terrible at asking for help!

yes can identify with the groundhog day bit
its very much a case of same shit different day!

I'm not a single parent and I find it hard enough raising a child.

So hats off to all you single parents,i certainly don't think you've got an easy life.

My not so db has 5 dc with 2 different partners and hasn't paid a single penny in maintainence ever. I have seen first hand how shit this makes life for his ex partners and his dc. I have done what i can ie helping with the dc and cash but it's not enough.

He has now got another (very young,she is 19 to his 36) girl pg so yet another child who will be raised by only her mummy. He is back with his last partner atm.

Groundhog here too sometimes

Its fucking lonely.

Who thinks it is easy?

I am not a lone parent, but DH goes away for extended periods with work. I have the utmost respect for single parents and can regularly be heard asking how on earth they cope!

This time I am coping with a toddler with chicken pox and a baby who is teething. No sleep for me then!

I think those of you who do it on a permanent basis are nothing short of heroic.

Scrooged, I'd like to see your T shirts, do you have a webite/pictures?