I'm upset and pissed off that exp has not been to a solicitor to see dd....

[cantpickyourfamily]

Ex p was violent then smashed my glass door, he was arrested and has got bail conditions that say he cannot contact me. But if he wants to see dd can contact me through a solicitor.

He has text me a few times but it has now been 6weeks scence he was arrested and he has still not been to a solicitor to contact me regarding seeing dd.

I am upset as feel the only reason he continually tries to see dd is so he can speak to me. And maybe now he has accepted that we are not going to be together he is not bothering with dd.

She has just started walking and her speech improves everyday and he has not seen any of it. What a complete arse hole.

When I had to contact a solicitor to write to him saying he should not contact me that took a few days. If I was unable to see dd I would contact a solicitor asap, it would not take 6weeks.

The thing is you can see what a wonderful little person your DD is and how she is developing to a non frequent contact parent shes a baby still.

Pre kids I found it hard to distinguish between 1 and 3 year olds. At about 5 children start to be more 'interesting' to other adults because they don't need to tune their ear to the sounds and stuff.

My ex was completely uninterested in DS2 who was 1 when he left. He begrudgingly allowed him on access visits - requesting more than once to leave him behind because he slowed DD1 (2 years older) down. I couldn't understand it they're both gorgeous how can you discriminate between your children. My Aunty said he probably didn't identify with him other than as a baby, which actually made sence. Now he's 3 I've encouraged a couple of short trips out just the two of them and he (ex) turned round and said I can't believe he's talking - he's like a proper person. For me he was talking when the ex left and he was 1. Its just different perceptions. Hopefully as your DD grows up, if you can keep some kind of information flow going he will feel more equiped to have access visits.

He doesn't know what he's missing out on. I love that phase of development walking, early words etc. They're learning so much new every day and the world is so exciting and they're able to express their own opinion - be it toddling off where you've told them not to, climbing onto the windowsill or confidently expressing 'no' at every opportunity.

He's a prize pratt for missing any of it.

do you want a violent, unpredictable man to be around the children? i presume there will be supervised contact?

it is his loss...your DD will know no different for now. You just enjoy her and all the peace the now surrounds you

antagony - i agree he is a pratt, but if he decides at a later date he wants to see her, that will be uncomfortable for dd as she will not know him.

lulu - it will be supervised contact if he ever bothers to go to a solicitor, as he is violent i only want him to see dd if it is done properly through the courts.

the thing is he sent me texts saying he does not care how much it costs etc he will see dd. so i dont understand why 6weeks later he still has not got a solicitor to contact me.

it probably would make my life easier if wenever saw him again. but i cannot believe that he is not bothered, i do not understand how he can function without dd for 6 weeks, god i would be doing everything in my power to see her...

While the bail conditions are in place, I am guessing that he doesn't see how he can see the child without you being involved - so to him, there isn't much hope of getting somewhere. Then there is the cost factor to be considered.

If you want the father to have contact, you might ask your solicitor to present the offer, to see if he accepts. Just a thought, if the thought of the father not seeing the child worries you.

If you get these vibes from him why not just live happily in peace until he cleans up his act - she is not hurting in any way from not seeing him at this point it sounds like she is thriving.