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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Is it right, or ok? Or is he just being a complete arse and control freak?

12 replies

Belindaa · 09/12/2008 12:59

My ex is on JSA and when he has her overnight sometimes, he asks me for some food to feed her while she's there..
He does't pay any Child Support at this point in time and at other times the payments have been sporadic...
I'm on IS and ChTaxCr....
Do you think he has a right to have a share of the ChTaxCr and Child benefit as he has her one night a week?

OP posts:

hambo · 09/12/2008 13:03

Not really. I guess thoses benifits are for you to feed your daughter, cloth her, pay electic and gas and loads of other things that you will do daily which for one night he will not do.

I bet he doesn't buy her jammies or clothes.

He sounds like a twonk.

shelleyloukissessantaselves · 09/12/2008 13:11

no. As he has her 1 night a week you arent entitled to any of his JSAa. If he werent on shared care then he would should pay you £5 a week from that.

Original poster

Belindaa · 09/12/2008 13:15

I thought shared care was over 48 hours a week????

OP posts:

Original poster

Belindaa · 09/12/2008 13:16

And sorry, i meant when he has her for his usual 1 night a week he asks me for food for her....

OP posts:

FrostytheSurfmum · 09/12/2008 13:17

He might have got the idea from the CSA who reduce payments to the parent with care if the child spends over a certain number of nights with the non-resident parent.

Do you think he is struggling financially? I have no idea how much he gets from JSA, but I guess it's possible that his incomings only cover his outgoings if he has high rent or debts to pay, for example.

It's difficult to say whether he genuinely has no money so it's a reasonable request or whether he's being an idiot without further information.

Original poster

Belindaa · 09/12/2008 13:31

He only gets JSA...(and hb)...I don't think he has much money, he keeps telling me he has bills, but he can afford a car...
I used to ferry her back and forth until he got it 2 months ago...(9 years of ferrying back and forth mind, on bus too, both bloody ways!)
ANd i know i got a car, but i bought that out of money i was owed by the inland revenue when they made a huge cock up that left me without working tax credit for 6 months!

OP posts:

shelleyloukissessantaselves · 09/12/2008 15:04

CSA class shared care as the equivelant of 1 overnight stay a week. If hes on JSA he'll get CTB too. IIRC its around £60 a week

pinguthepenguin · 10/12/2008 14:36

no way is one overnight a week classed as shared care?

OnceAPillockNowAnAngel · 10/12/2008 14:39

It is classed as shared care in the respect of payments to CSA, they reduce the payments by 1/7 for one night a week and so on.

mummy2niamh · 10/12/2008 23:04

no no no!

I think that is completely unfair. A child eats so little that it would cost him a few pounds to get a bit extra for the one night a week.

The child support agency take £5 a week from absent parents if they are on benefits, so as he isn't giving you any money he should put that £5 towards her food.

...or just get a job?

I know that sounds mean but I have been going through similar with my daughters dad, only he didn't ask me for money for food...He knows I would have told him where to go! lol

Debra1981 · 11/12/2008 00:18

The reason he does not have to give you any money (while on benefits) is because he has to feed and accommodate your dd for one night a week (shared, but still less than half the time), therefore as far as the CSA and benefit people are concerned, he would be expected to pay for this care out of his own albeit limited income. What's he wasting money on a car for if he doesn't have a job to get to, or a child to ferry about for most of the week? Don't give him any money. He's got some cheek asking! I don't think he has a claim on the ChB/ChTCr with that small amount of care but check with CAB if you want to be sure of his rights (think I'd leave him to sort it out himself if he thinks he's entitled and can be bothered- certainly wouldn't inform him of his rights if any or encourage him to act on the matter). But then I'm biased/bitter as my ex cleared me out around the time of our leaving as he still had my bank details.

Sossy · 11/12/2008 00:24

It's a bit odd asking for money for one night's food isn't it? Especially as he knows you have little, too. If he really is struggling tell him to keep the food receipt and you'll give him half of it. I'd rather do that than worry about if my child's going hungry or not.

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