Hmmmmmm......you see, OP, I'm not so sure about the whole thing. Here's my story which may interest you (sorry it's a bit long):
A long time ago when I was at uni, when email was first new, and mobile phones were used only by yuppies from the City, I started chatting via email to a complete stranger based on another campus (also a student though). We sent LOADS of emails and also wrote actual letters to each other without actually meeting for ages. The emails and letters and a couple of phone calls used to make ME smile too. In fact, the way you describe him reminds me exactly of how this guy used to be with me, and make me feel. But in hindsight things got far too intimate far too early, considering we hadn't even met yet.
When we finally met up for a drink, I was so nervous and wanting it to be the big "wow" moment of my life...........and it was such a let down. I just didn't fancy him. In fact, I very nearly did find him repellent, not because he was ugly as such, but just because I personally wasn't attracted to him at all, and it made it even MORE repellent that he made it very clear that he fancied ME like mad.
I think all along up until the point of meeting I was imagining in my head this whole Prince Charming happy ever after ideal. I wanted it so much. I even had a mental picture of what I thought he might look like.
On our date I was prepared to give it a chance - for that spark to grow just through interacting face to face. But then he kissed me and it was like being kissed by a dead fish. Everything about it was repugnant. He also couldn't seem to get the message that I didn't feel the same way, which also made me want to run for the hills!
I left that night very disappointed at the whole thing, and for a good few weeks after things were very awkward over email etc. I just coudn't bring myself to tell him I didn't fancy him, I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so made up some daft excuse about wanting to go back to an ex who'd turned up again. All a lie to save his feelings but in hindsight I should have just told him the truth as he then went all possessive and wierd saying I'd strung him along etc
A couple of years later, I went on a date with my (now) DH. My god, was that different! When he even touched me on the knee during our conversation, I got shivers down my spine (and further down!). Kisses were unimaginably wonderful. We got on so well in all other respects too that we both just didn't want to go home. I think we both knew virtually straight away that we'd found each other's "the one".
Now, whilst that initial lust has worn off a fair bit after 11 years and 2 kids together, we get on just as well as ever. We DO still fancy each other, and the fact that we do means that when we've had a tiff, I only have to look at him to feel myself wanting to kiss and make up, and he with me. I just can't imagine that happening if you just don't fancy them and never have. if there's no physical spark there, and you have a row, surely you're just going to look at him and want to pour a glass of water over his head?!
The other thing is.....what if you DO decide to give it a go, and then in the future you meet someone you DO have the "wow" complete-connection-on-all-levels moment with? You might have a couple of kids with the first bloke by then, and you'd be breaking up a family if you pursued the second man. Or you might be gutted and resent your husband for the rest of your life together if you decide NOT to pursue it.
How many times have you met up with him face to face?
I just don't see how it can work if when it comes to having sex you end up just lying back and thinking of England. As someone else said, if you DO decide to give it a chance, then the sex is definitely a big gauge of whether the whole thing could work in the future.
I don't know......I am not a shallow person when it comes to looks. A good looking bloke with a shit personality would NEVER interest me. But I just don't know about your situation.......I suppose it's on a par with an arranged marriage? I've heard that some of those can be very successful?
I reckon it's worth a chance to keep going for a bit. But if it's more the IDEA of him rather than ACTUALLY him that you like, then it'd be very difficult I think. Definitely use your response to him when you "do the deed" to decide what to do ultimately.